FIC - In A Moment Of Truth - J2AU - 3/3
Title: In A Moment Of Truth
Fandom: Supernatural RPS, J2AU
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Jared/Jensen (small mention of Jared/Chad, Jensen/Rob)
Spoilers: None
Warnings: M/M slash
Length: This is the last of three stories in this ‘verse, all of which are complete. Word count for this part, 4553.
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke, unfortunately and Jared and Jensen belong to themselves (even though in my happy world they belong to each other.) Same thing goes for the Los Angeles Kings and San Antonio Rampage hockey teams- they are both real, but exist in this writing as purely fictional settings and a means to an end. Yes, this is a work of fiction and lest we forget Fiction = False, Fake, Not Real (and any of those other handy dandy synonyms found in Webster’s big book.) No offense is meant to any of the parties/teams represented.
Beta: Thanks a ton to
chloe_2450 !
Summary: Jared Padalecki, star rookie hockey player for the Los Angeles Kings is on a short break back to his home state of Texas before the Christmas holiday. Needing some time to himself, to brood and reflect, he goes to one of the local bars and meets one Jensen Ackles. Both men are not what they first appear and perhaps are more alike than they even realize.
A/N: For the purpose of this story we are going to pretend that the Los Angeles Kings actually have a decent hockey team…I know, I know. Come on, this is fiction. Anything can happen!! Oh, and this is my first foray into SPN-land, so please be kind. I make some delicious chocolate chip cookies if they will help.
Chapter One:
(Jared's POV)
"Jesus Christ, Padalecki. Just sit the fuck down. The plane hasn't even landed yet and all of that damn pacing is driving me nuts."
Why in the hell did I convince Misha to come with me to the airport? Maybe because he has become your best friend and you need someone to be here when your boyfriend steps through security so you don't get in trouble, Jared? Even incognito, your ass has already been recognized by four different people since you stepped foot into LAX and the last thing you need is to jump all over another man in public.
Sighing, I settled myself in the cold, uncomfortable chair next to Misha. "Better?"
"Much."
Misha was sending another text message---I am sure regaling his experience with me back to Jeff, who was no doubt spreading the news to the rest of the team who were aware of my orientation and that I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in almost four months.
I looked down at my watch for like the hundredth time since we arrived. 1:42pm. Jensen's plane was due to land at 1:56pm. He had called me from the airport when he was boarding to let me know that they were leaving on time and that he would see me soon. The shear anticipation in his voice had sent ribbons of pleasure straight to my dick.
Yeah, we aren't going to last more than a few moments into the door of my house before clothes are scattered and naked bodies are falling into bed. I've gone far too long without being able to fuck that amazing ass of his.
It's been close to two years since we met over a game of pool. Two years that haven't always been wine and roses. Over a thousand miles will do that to a relationship. So will being one of the young hotshots on a team of reoccurring Stanley Cup contenders in a sport where most of the fans and a majority of my fellow players would ridicule one of their own if they found out he was into guys.
Jensen didn't have to worry about the game aspect anymore, at least. He had retired from hockey at the end of his 06-07 season. I had tried to convince Jensen, who was planning on going back to college to finish his degree at that time, to move out to Los Angeles and do it here.
Unfortunately, I went and fucked my ex-boyfriend Chad a week after Jensen had come to visit me then and we didn't quite see eye to eye for a long time afterwards. I had been totally drunk off my ass and just wanted to get laid; Chad had been more than happy to help, especially since he wanted to get back together with me. Stupid fucking mistake. It basically took a lot of long phone calls between me and Jensen, and finally a plane trip to see him with me on my knees begging for forgiveness and another chance.
None of my teammates, that knew about the relationship, understood why I was fighting so hard then for a guy that I'd only seen a couple of times and honestly didn't really know more than mostly through the telephone and email.
I couldn't explain it to them at the time. Shit, I can't explain it now. All I know is that I am a better person when I am with Jensen Ackles than I was before. Corny as it sounds.
"His flight is showing as arrived now."
Glancing over the fountain, up at the arrivals screen, confirmed what Misha had just said. Delta Airlines Flight 1821 from Dallas was on the ground.
Jensen and I were in the same state again. Finally. About damn time.
"You can keep sitting there and chilling out. Just because it says arrived doesn't mean he is going to come bouncing through that archway in a few seconds. You know how long it takes to get from the runways to the terminal here."
Misha Collins, my very own Jiminy Cricket.
He's fucking right though, Jared. Just keep relaxing and maintaining your cool. The most beautiful smile you have ever seen will be striding up before you know it.
This trip is going to be important to the both of us. We have a lot of decisions to make. Jensen's got his degree now, having just graduated from Texas Tech last weekend, and he can go make a life anywhere.
I just hope I can convince him to come choose me and a home in sunny California.
(Jensen's POV)
I really wish I could afford to fly first class. It's either that or shrink a few inches, which is not going to happen anytime soon. The only other option would be to find a better job than the one I have right now, which is my goal now that I can add Bachelor's of Science to my resume. At least working as a bartender got me through the last year and a half since I left the game of hockey. Tips paid tuition and put a roof over my head. Got to have something more now though, can't keep pulling all-nighters serving up the drunken college masses of Texas Tech.
The only good all-nighter is one spent being fucked by or fucking my boyfriend.
Jared is supposed to be waiting for me by the fountain next to the baggage claim area in the terminal. Seeing him after all this time has my stomach in knots. Lots of choices for us to decide on during my almost week long stay. Luckily Jared only has one game to worry about while I am here, having just gotten back from Detroit last night.
This will only be the second time I have been to LA since we started dating. My last trip here was during the summer of 2007 and that didn't go to great. Well, the trip itself did but the phone call I got a week after shattered my heart. I was seriously starting to have real feelings for Jared, even though I didn't know it until he told me that he had fucking cheated on me with Chad.
Jensen, stop thinking about that. You and Jared worked through those issues and are in a much better place now. Don't let something that you have put in the past ruin this trip.
I know, I know. It's been far too long since we have seen each other to dig up those old skeletons.
Exiting the boarding ramp, I took a deep cleansing breath and followed the rest of my fellow passengers down the concourse towards the signs marked 'Train' and 'Baggage Claim.'
Towards my waiting boyfriend.
The boyfriend who I know without a doubt is going to ask me to move out here and be with him full-time.
As much as I would like to be with Jared night and day, I am not sure our relationship is something I can continue with. I'm tired of hiding my feelings for him. At least when I am nineteen hours away in Texas I can pretend that he is just Jared Padalecki, a regular guy from San Antonio, and not Jared Padalecki, #26 right wing for the Los Angeles Kings. But being here---living here, will always make him the professional hockey player. And it is not like he can just announce to the world that he is dating a guy. He'd be ostracized by his peers and branded unfavorably in the sport he loves.
The sport I still love, but gave up when I knew I was never going to the next level. I was smart enough to get out while the getting was good and put my ass back in college. My parents had wanted me to go finish up at some snobby east coast school, but I went back to Texas Tech were I had started and played college hockey. Texas was closer to LA.
And I have fallen in love with LA. Well, specifically with one Jared Padalecki.
That is why this trip is going to be hard. I want him but that would be asking him to give up hockey and I will not allow him to do that for me. Even if it means giving him up completely.
With a jolt of the passenger train coming to a stop, my thoughts stopped running rampant and the nerves of excitement just completely took over. A series of escalators was all that separated us now.
I saw his khaki Texas Tech Red Raiders hat, a gift I had given him the last time he was back in Texas, before I was close enough to make eye contact. Damn he looks fucking amazing. Never fails.
Putting on my best smile, I weaved through the crowd in front of me straight into a waiting hug. I wanted nothing more than to attach my mouth to his, but the surging group of people around us reminded me that was not possible.
"God, I have missed you," I whispered in his ear, giving him an extra squeeze before we separated and I turned my attention to the man next to us. "Hey, Misha."
"How was your flight, Jensen?" he asked, shaking my hand. I was not the least bit surprised to see Misha Collins with Jared; they've become close friends over the last two years. Especially after all the shit that Chad put my boyfriend through. I hope Misha will be there for him once I go home. Don't need to worry about that for another six days though.
"Quite a bit of turbulence right after we took off. But no crying babies or kids kicking my seat so I guess it was fine."
"Let's get your luggage and get the heck out of here," came the voice of my lover. And if he thinks I missed the fact that he was hard when he hugged me, I didn't. I also have not missed that he keeps tugging his fleece-pullover down over the front of his jeans. It makes my blood boil knowing that I turn him on so much.
Walking over to the luggage carousel, I grabbed my bag that was just coming around. Misha took it from me and I didn't argue with him, I just followed his trail towards where I assumed they had parked.
With Misha a few steps ahead of us, Jared, softly said, "I am so glad you are here. I've been counting down the days."
"Me too." But I bet my countdown has been a lot more stressful than yours.
I have no fucking clue how I am going to leave this man. How I am going to basically rip my heart out of my chest and stomp all over it. And then in turn, do the same to Jared's.
Chapter Two:
(Jared's POV)
"Fuck, Jensen!"
The only answer I received to my orgasm was a couple of grunts. Jensen's head was thrown back, eyes squeezed shut, and mouth sucking in lungfuls of air as he pumped his hips repeatedly into my body until he came with a loud moan and collapsed into a heap next to me. His head managed to find a resting spot on my shoulder and my arms went around him, stroking his muscled back and sweat-soaked hair.
This was the second time we have fucked since we got back to my house. Both times being pretty fast and furious no matter who was doing the fucking. Not unexpected though since our bodies haven't had any contact in months.
Even though he is four inches shorter than me, his body meshes alongside mine just perfectly.
Running my fingers through his sandy blondish-brown hair, I smiled to myself and said, "Remind me again why we waited so long to see each other this time?"
"I had class. You had hockey."
Okay. That was very blunt. And the tone of his voice was kind of condescending.
With a slight shift of my body, I rolled out from under Jensen and put our gazes face to face. He wouldn't look at me.
Kissing him on the nose, something that used to bother the hell out of him, but he quickly grew to love, I asked, "Everything, alright? You didn't hurt your shoulder did you?
Jensen had slipped on a patch of ice last winter in a rare winter storm and taken a nasty fall, nailing a fire hydrant on the way down. Dislocated shoulder with a couple of torn ligaments, broken collarbone and some bruised ribs. I know the shoulder still gives him some aches from time to time. Hopefully our screwing around didn't twinge it.
"No, the shoulder's fine."
Not very forthcoming are we? Maybe some humor would help.
"I know I am a little out of practice but I thought my dick did a pretty good job on your ass earlier."
Sitting up, he rolled away from me and grabbed his boxer briefs from the floor before sliding them up his legs and over that still toned ass.
"It's not you Jared," he sighed, getting out of bed and heading towards the bathroom.
What the fuck is going on?
Not bothering with clothes, not really giving a damn about anything but my boyfriend, I strode after Jensen into the bathroom. He was sitting on the edge of my sunk-in garden Jacuzzi tub, staring at the floor. I'd had that tub installed in this house with the clear image of me someday straddling Jensen's waist and riding him in it.
Doesn't seem like that is going to happen anytime soon.
Kneeling down, I sat with my back against the edge of the tub, Jensen's legs dangling next to me.
"Are you going to talk to me, or do I need to guess what is wrong?"
After a very long pause, he quietly spoke, "You're Jared Padalecki."
"Yeah, I've been him since July 19, 1982. Your point is?"
"I won't let you lose that person."
Huh. He has totally lost me.
"What in the hell does that mean?" I asked, swinging around to confront him face to face, hoping it might help him make more sense.
"You can't be Jared Padalecki and still be in love with me."
"It's worked pretty well so far." No real complaints from my end.
"I need more. If I am in this, I am in it full throttle. No hiding. But you can't guarantee me that and I don't expect you to. That's asking too much."
Holy fucking hell. Jensen Ackles flew half way across the country to break up with me on the first day he is here.
Guess it is better than leading me on for a whole week and telling me to piss off before he gets on a plane back home. But still...
Shit. I don't know what to say. I just sat there and stared at him, my chest feeling like there was a gaping hole starting to open in it. Little specks of warm liquid pooling at the corners of my eyes.
This was the last thing I expected from him. I fully thought after this week we would be making plans to move Jensen and his stuff out here to Los Angeles.
To LA, where I am a member of the Kings, a player in the National Hockey League.
Everything started clicking rapidly in place. The full meaning of his words hitting home. I had said it myself earlier, 'a sport where most of the fans and a majority of my fellow players would ridicule one of their own if they found out he was into guys.' The backlash of someone finding out I had a boyfriend would be brutal. Jensen knows that as well as I do.
"I know full well you want me to move out here, but have you really thought about the consequences? How are you going to explain me to people? I can't just be your friend. I won't. It's not fair to either of us."
(Jensen's POV)
He had let me walk away from him earlier, I knew he wouldn't stop me a second time because he didn't have an answer to give me. I'd gathered up my jeans and a t-shirt and ensconced myself in his den to think. About thirty minutes later I heard him go out the front door, no clue as to his destination.
The day slowly faded into night but I never moved from my spot on the couch. Nor had Jared returned during my contemplative time.
I hadn't planned on having that conversation right after we had sex, but my mind just started running at full pace giving orders to my mouth that I couldn't stop. I always believe that being honest is the best course of action and Jared deserved to know how I really felt.
He will choose hockey. I know he will. I probably would too if I was still playing and in the prime of my career. There is still so much of him left to give the game.
I can't stay here. Can't let him ruin his life for me.
Getting up, planning on heading back to the bedroom to re-pack the few things I had pulled out, I stopped short when I heard the front door open. Jared's feet padded over the hardwoods in my direction.
Damn it, I didn't run fast enough.
Well, here goes. Guess I deserve this. I ripped his heart to shreds earlier, time for payback. I wish I could prepare myself for it. Unfortunately no way to do that though.
The moment of truth.
The arm of the sofa became my resting place as Jared entered the den. It was mostly there to keep my from falling down, my legs turning to mush as I saw the look on my boyfriend's face and heard his words.
"I've thought over what you said, and I agree---we can't do this anymore."
Fuck. I had just told myself that I knew he would choose hockey. But the full force of it made the ache in my chest spread like wildfire.
I loved and lost hockey.
I loved and have just lost Jared Padalecki.
Everything I valued just skipped fucking town.
My body slowly slid from the arm of the couch back down onto one of its cushions. Jared continued to stand in the entry way. I couldn't look at him anymore but I knew he hadn't moved.
Say something, Jensen. Say what? We have both made our decisions. This is the best for everyone involved. Hearts will mend. It's not like this is the first time Jared has broken mine, I should be used to it by now. I'll just go back to Texas and then decide where I am going to go from there.
Realizing that the longer I stayed in the room with Jared, the harder it was going to be to leave; I stood and headed towards the opposite end of the den and a separate door that led towards the bedroom. My stuff was there, waiting to be packed. Might as well continue with that plan and get the hell out of here. No reason to stay any longer.
As I reached the door and started to step through, an arm encircled my waist.
"Don't go."
I couldn't face him. Nor could I stay. That would only make things worse.
"This is for the best, Jared. I'll be gone within the hour."
"I don't want you to go."
Christ! Stop making this harder than it is.
Turning around I met his gaze, as well as his body pressing fully up against me and his words filling my ears, "I want you to stay."
"But you just said..."
"Shut up and let me finish," he said, placing his hand over my mouth like I was a small child. "I know I didn't phrase it right, shit, I didn't even realize what I had completely said until I saw your reaction. I agree with you. We cannot hide any more. I don't want to lose you and if it means shouting over the PA at the Staples Center that I love you, well, then I will do it."
"Your teammates, hockey...,"I said, my words mumbled under the pressure of his fingers that were again pressed to my lips, harder this time.
"Just be fucking quiet for a second and stop interrupting me. Seven of my teammates already know and don't really give a rat's ass. They are happy for me. Of the remaining ones, probably half suspect I'm into guys and they don't really care either. The few that don't know a thing? They will just have to deal. I will deal. Because I choose you. I choose us. And if it means the end to my hockey career a little earlier than expected, well, then that's the hand I was dealt. Might just have to use that good ol' University of Texas education sooner than planned."
Jared lightly laughed and then pulled away from me a tad, one of my hands in his. I just stared at him. Floored. Stunned. No sure how to react.
He was choosing me. Our relationship.
Never in the million scenarios I ran through my head did I ever expect him to make the choice he did. I can't let him do this. It isn't fair to him.
"You can say something now, you know?"
"You can't do this. I won't let you lose hockey for me."
"Jensen, you are more important to me than any hockey game. Ten years from now, hell, maybe even five years, hockey won't be there anymore but I want you to be. And no, I don't expect you to hide in the shadows for those remaining years of my career. I want you right by my side, no matter what it takes. I'm willing to do what I need to do to keep you in my life...are you willing to stay with me?"
Need a time-out. Head swimming. Normally one of his kisses is what gets my mind all fuzzy, this time it was just his words. And the way he was looking at me...like someone totally, completely, faithfully in love with me. His fingers were still gripping mine, holding me tight. The boyish smile awaiting my answer.
Can't think. Must clear head.
Not sure of what to say, I let other parts of my body do the talking for me---They never seemed to freeze up and a majority of the time conveyed my true feelings quite adequately. Here's to hoping they don't fail me this time.
Lips crushed together, feverishly, breaths coming in gasps. Hands that had been joined were now in a race to remove the clothing that separated us from the desired contact.
Victory. Skin on skin.
Bedroom is too far. Couch will have to do.
Pushing Jared backwards until we were in front of the sofa, I settled down and pulled him to me so that he was straddling my waist while sitting on his knees. Our mouths never lost contact until he threw his head back and my teeth grazed over one of his nipples. His arms were resting on my shoulders, massaging the muscles underneath, while mine were doing the same thing to him, but only lower. God, does Jared have an amazing fucking ass or what? So fucking smooth and firm. My dick wants that ass so much.
With a tight grip on that luscious rear, I flipped our bodies so that I was now on top with my boyfriend trapped below me.
"Not wasting anytime are we?" He asked while gently rocking his hips up to mine. "I don't blame you; I wouldn't waste time either when it concerns me."
I love it when he gets all cocky.
Just like he loves my cock.
What a perfect pair we make.
Bending his legs up, I knelt at their apex and quickly spit plenty of moisture on my hand. A few pumps later and I guided my shaft in place.
We'd been in quite a hurry up to this point but I took my old sweet time savoring each and every stroke I made in and out of Jared's welcoming body. His hands casually jerked on his dick or tweaked my ultra-sensitive nipples.
Before I wanted it, the pressure inside me built until I could no longer control it.
"Fuck, Jared! Fuck!"
Our timing was in sync. As soon as I was climaxing inside of him, Jared lost himself over his chest and abs giving his fair share of props to God and myself.
"So," he said, still trying to catch his breath a moment later as he shifted his body so I could curl up beside him. "I guess this means we need to call U-Haul?"
I laughed and then flashed him my trademark smile, "Why don't we go try out that Jacuzzi tub of yours first? My stuff in Texas will still be there when you get done fucking me…it knows how to wait patiently. Me, on the other hand...."
As I watched Jared skitter off the couch and out the door headed towards the bathroom, with me in tow, I knew this was the way it should be. We'd come a long way from a simple game of pool on a cold, lonely night. Two strangers crossing over an invisible line to eventually meet at a crossroads, deciding then to try the same path...a road, while sometimes bumpy, that ultimately led to a life together.
Fandom: Supernatural RPS, J2AU
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Jared/Jensen (small mention of Jared/Chad, Jensen/Rob)
Spoilers: None
Warnings: M/M slash
Length: This is the last of three stories in this ‘verse, all of which are complete. Word count for this part, 4553.
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke, unfortunately and Jared and Jensen belong to themselves (even though in my happy world they belong to each other.) Same thing goes for the Los Angeles Kings and San Antonio Rampage hockey teams- they are both real, but exist in this writing as purely fictional settings and a means to an end. Yes, this is a work of fiction and lest we forget Fiction = False, Fake, Not Real (and any of those other handy dandy synonyms found in Webster’s big book.) No offense is meant to any of the parties/teams represented.
Beta: Thanks a ton to
chloe_2450 !
Summary: Jared Padalecki, star rookie hockey player for the Los Angeles Kings is on a short break back to his home state of Texas before the Christmas holiday. Needing some time to himself, to brood and reflect, he goes to one of the local bars and meets one Jensen Ackles. Both men are not what they first appear and perhaps are more alike than they even realize.
A/N: For the purpose of this story we are going to pretend that the Los Angeles Kings actually have a decent hockey team…I know, I know. Come on, this is fiction. Anything can happen!! Oh, and this is my first foray into SPN-land, so please be kind. I make some delicious chocolate chip cookies if they will help.
Chapter One:
(Jared's POV)
"Jesus Christ, Padalecki. Just sit the fuck down. The plane hasn't even landed yet and all of that damn pacing is driving me nuts."
Why in the hell did I convince Misha to come with me to the airport? Maybe because he has become your best friend and you need someone to be here when your boyfriend steps through security so you don't get in trouble, Jared? Even incognito, your ass has already been recognized by four different people since you stepped foot into LAX and the last thing you need is to jump all over another man in public.
Sighing, I settled myself in the cold, uncomfortable chair next to Misha. "Better?"
"Much."
Misha was sending another text message---I am sure regaling his experience with me back to Jeff, who was no doubt spreading the news to the rest of the team who were aware of my orientation and that I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in almost four months.
I looked down at my watch for like the hundredth time since we arrived. 1:42pm. Jensen's plane was due to land at 1:56pm. He had called me from the airport when he was boarding to let me know that they were leaving on time and that he would see me soon. The shear anticipation in his voice had sent ribbons of pleasure straight to my dick.
Yeah, we aren't going to last more than a few moments into the door of my house before clothes are scattered and naked bodies are falling into bed. I've gone far too long without being able to fuck that amazing ass of his.
It's been close to two years since we met over a game of pool. Two years that haven't always been wine and roses. Over a thousand miles will do that to a relationship. So will being one of the young hotshots on a team of reoccurring Stanley Cup contenders in a sport where most of the fans and a majority of my fellow players would ridicule one of their own if they found out he was into guys.
Jensen didn't have to worry about the game aspect anymore, at least. He had retired from hockey at the end of his 06-07 season. I had tried to convince Jensen, who was planning on going back to college to finish his degree at that time, to move out to Los Angeles and do it here.
Unfortunately, I went and fucked my ex-boyfriend Chad a week after Jensen had come to visit me then and we didn't quite see eye to eye for a long time afterwards. I had been totally drunk off my ass and just wanted to get laid; Chad had been more than happy to help, especially since he wanted to get back together with me. Stupid fucking mistake. It basically took a lot of long phone calls between me and Jensen, and finally a plane trip to see him with me on my knees begging for forgiveness and another chance.
None of my teammates, that knew about the relationship, understood why I was fighting so hard then for a guy that I'd only seen a couple of times and honestly didn't really know more than mostly through the telephone and email.
I couldn't explain it to them at the time. Shit, I can't explain it now. All I know is that I am a better person when I am with Jensen Ackles than I was before. Corny as it sounds.
"His flight is showing as arrived now."
Glancing over the fountain, up at the arrivals screen, confirmed what Misha had just said. Delta Airlines Flight 1821 from Dallas was on the ground.
Jensen and I were in the same state again. Finally. About damn time.
"You can keep sitting there and chilling out. Just because it says arrived doesn't mean he is going to come bouncing through that archway in a few seconds. You know how long it takes to get from the runways to the terminal here."
Misha Collins, my very own Jiminy Cricket.
He's fucking right though, Jared. Just keep relaxing and maintaining your cool. The most beautiful smile you have ever seen will be striding up before you know it.
This trip is going to be important to the both of us. We have a lot of decisions to make. Jensen's got his degree now, having just graduated from Texas Tech last weekend, and he can go make a life anywhere.
I just hope I can convince him to come choose me and a home in sunny California.
(Jensen's POV)
I really wish I could afford to fly first class. It's either that or shrink a few inches, which is not going to happen anytime soon. The only other option would be to find a better job than the one I have right now, which is my goal now that I can add Bachelor's of Science to my resume. At least working as a bartender got me through the last year and a half since I left the game of hockey. Tips paid tuition and put a roof over my head. Got to have something more now though, can't keep pulling all-nighters serving up the drunken college masses of Texas Tech.
The only good all-nighter is one spent being fucked by or fucking my boyfriend.
Jared is supposed to be waiting for me by the fountain next to the baggage claim area in the terminal. Seeing him after all this time has my stomach in knots. Lots of choices for us to decide on during my almost week long stay. Luckily Jared only has one game to worry about while I am here, having just gotten back from Detroit last night.
This will only be the second time I have been to LA since we started dating. My last trip here was during the summer of 2007 and that didn't go to great. Well, the trip itself did but the phone call I got a week after shattered my heart. I was seriously starting to have real feelings for Jared, even though I didn't know it until he told me that he had fucking cheated on me with Chad.
Jensen, stop thinking about that. You and Jared worked through those issues and are in a much better place now. Don't let something that you have put in the past ruin this trip.
I know, I know. It's been far too long since we have seen each other to dig up those old skeletons.
Exiting the boarding ramp, I took a deep cleansing breath and followed the rest of my fellow passengers down the concourse towards the signs marked 'Train' and 'Baggage Claim.'
Towards my waiting boyfriend.
The boyfriend who I know without a doubt is going to ask me to move out here and be with him full-time.
As much as I would like to be with Jared night and day, I am not sure our relationship is something I can continue with. I'm tired of hiding my feelings for him. At least when I am nineteen hours away in Texas I can pretend that he is just Jared Padalecki, a regular guy from San Antonio, and not Jared Padalecki, #26 right wing for the Los Angeles Kings. But being here---living here, will always make him the professional hockey player. And it is not like he can just announce to the world that he is dating a guy. He'd be ostracized by his peers and branded unfavorably in the sport he loves.
The sport I still love, but gave up when I knew I was never going to the next level. I was smart enough to get out while the getting was good and put my ass back in college. My parents had wanted me to go finish up at some snobby east coast school, but I went back to Texas Tech were I had started and played college hockey. Texas was closer to LA.
And I have fallen in love with LA. Well, specifically with one Jared Padalecki.
That is why this trip is going to be hard. I want him but that would be asking him to give up hockey and I will not allow him to do that for me. Even if it means giving him up completely.
With a jolt of the passenger train coming to a stop, my thoughts stopped running rampant and the nerves of excitement just completely took over. A series of escalators was all that separated us now.
I saw his khaki Texas Tech Red Raiders hat, a gift I had given him the last time he was back in Texas, before I was close enough to make eye contact. Damn he looks fucking amazing. Never fails.
Putting on my best smile, I weaved through the crowd in front of me straight into a waiting hug. I wanted nothing more than to attach my mouth to his, but the surging group of people around us reminded me that was not possible.
"God, I have missed you," I whispered in his ear, giving him an extra squeeze before we separated and I turned my attention to the man next to us. "Hey, Misha."
"How was your flight, Jensen?" he asked, shaking my hand. I was not the least bit surprised to see Misha Collins with Jared; they've become close friends over the last two years. Especially after all the shit that Chad put my boyfriend through. I hope Misha will be there for him once I go home. Don't need to worry about that for another six days though.
"Quite a bit of turbulence right after we took off. But no crying babies or kids kicking my seat so I guess it was fine."
"Let's get your luggage and get the heck out of here," came the voice of my lover. And if he thinks I missed the fact that he was hard when he hugged me, I didn't. I also have not missed that he keeps tugging his fleece-pullover down over the front of his jeans. It makes my blood boil knowing that I turn him on so much.
Walking over to the luggage carousel, I grabbed my bag that was just coming around. Misha took it from me and I didn't argue with him, I just followed his trail towards where I assumed they had parked.
With Misha a few steps ahead of us, Jared, softly said, "I am so glad you are here. I've been counting down the days."
"Me too." But I bet my countdown has been a lot more stressful than yours.
I have no fucking clue how I am going to leave this man. How I am going to basically rip my heart out of my chest and stomp all over it. And then in turn, do the same to Jared's.
Chapter Two:
(Jared's POV)
"Fuck, Jensen!"
The only answer I received to my orgasm was a couple of grunts. Jensen's head was thrown back, eyes squeezed shut, and mouth sucking in lungfuls of air as he pumped his hips repeatedly into my body until he came with a loud moan and collapsed into a heap next to me. His head managed to find a resting spot on my shoulder and my arms went around him, stroking his muscled back and sweat-soaked hair.
This was the second time we have fucked since we got back to my house. Both times being pretty fast and furious no matter who was doing the fucking. Not unexpected though since our bodies haven't had any contact in months.
Even though he is four inches shorter than me, his body meshes alongside mine just perfectly.
Running my fingers through his sandy blondish-brown hair, I smiled to myself and said, "Remind me again why we waited so long to see each other this time?"
"I had class. You had hockey."
Okay. That was very blunt. And the tone of his voice was kind of condescending.
With a slight shift of my body, I rolled out from under Jensen and put our gazes face to face. He wouldn't look at me.
Kissing him on the nose, something that used to bother the hell out of him, but he quickly grew to love, I asked, "Everything, alright? You didn't hurt your shoulder did you?
Jensen had slipped on a patch of ice last winter in a rare winter storm and taken a nasty fall, nailing a fire hydrant on the way down. Dislocated shoulder with a couple of torn ligaments, broken collarbone and some bruised ribs. I know the shoulder still gives him some aches from time to time. Hopefully our screwing around didn't twinge it.
"No, the shoulder's fine."
Not very forthcoming are we? Maybe some humor would help.
"I know I am a little out of practice but I thought my dick did a pretty good job on your ass earlier."
Sitting up, he rolled away from me and grabbed his boxer briefs from the floor before sliding them up his legs and over that still toned ass.
"It's not you Jared," he sighed, getting out of bed and heading towards the bathroom.
What the fuck is going on?
Not bothering with clothes, not really giving a damn about anything but my boyfriend, I strode after Jensen into the bathroom. He was sitting on the edge of my sunk-in garden Jacuzzi tub, staring at the floor. I'd had that tub installed in this house with the clear image of me someday straddling Jensen's waist and riding him in it.
Doesn't seem like that is going to happen anytime soon.
Kneeling down, I sat with my back against the edge of the tub, Jensen's legs dangling next to me.
"Are you going to talk to me, or do I need to guess what is wrong?"
After a very long pause, he quietly spoke, "You're Jared Padalecki."
"Yeah, I've been him since July 19, 1982. Your point is?"
"I won't let you lose that person."
Huh. He has totally lost me.
"What in the hell does that mean?" I asked, swinging around to confront him face to face, hoping it might help him make more sense.
"You can't be Jared Padalecki and still be in love with me."
"It's worked pretty well so far." No real complaints from my end.
"I need more. If I am in this, I am in it full throttle. No hiding. But you can't guarantee me that and I don't expect you to. That's asking too much."
Holy fucking hell. Jensen Ackles flew half way across the country to break up with me on the first day he is here.
Guess it is better than leading me on for a whole week and telling me to piss off before he gets on a plane back home. But still...
Shit. I don't know what to say. I just sat there and stared at him, my chest feeling like there was a gaping hole starting to open in it. Little specks of warm liquid pooling at the corners of my eyes.
This was the last thing I expected from him. I fully thought after this week we would be making plans to move Jensen and his stuff out here to Los Angeles.
To LA, where I am a member of the Kings, a player in the National Hockey League.
Everything started clicking rapidly in place. The full meaning of his words hitting home. I had said it myself earlier, 'a sport where most of the fans and a majority of my fellow players would ridicule one of their own if they found out he was into guys.' The backlash of someone finding out I had a boyfriend would be brutal. Jensen knows that as well as I do.
"I know full well you want me to move out here, but have you really thought about the consequences? How are you going to explain me to people? I can't just be your friend. I won't. It's not fair to either of us."
(Jensen's POV)
He had let me walk away from him earlier, I knew he wouldn't stop me a second time because he didn't have an answer to give me. I'd gathered up my jeans and a t-shirt and ensconced myself in his den to think. About thirty minutes later I heard him go out the front door, no clue as to his destination.
The day slowly faded into night but I never moved from my spot on the couch. Nor had Jared returned during my contemplative time.
I hadn't planned on having that conversation right after we had sex, but my mind just started running at full pace giving orders to my mouth that I couldn't stop. I always believe that being honest is the best course of action and Jared deserved to know how I really felt.
He will choose hockey. I know he will. I probably would too if I was still playing and in the prime of my career. There is still so much of him left to give the game.
I can't stay here. Can't let him ruin his life for me.
Getting up, planning on heading back to the bedroom to re-pack the few things I had pulled out, I stopped short when I heard the front door open. Jared's feet padded over the hardwoods in my direction.
Damn it, I didn't run fast enough.
Well, here goes. Guess I deserve this. I ripped his heart to shreds earlier, time for payback. I wish I could prepare myself for it. Unfortunately no way to do that though.
The moment of truth.
The arm of the sofa became my resting place as Jared entered the den. It was mostly there to keep my from falling down, my legs turning to mush as I saw the look on my boyfriend's face and heard his words.
"I've thought over what you said, and I agree---we can't do this anymore."
Fuck. I had just told myself that I knew he would choose hockey. But the full force of it made the ache in my chest spread like wildfire.
I loved and lost hockey.
I loved and have just lost Jared Padalecki.
Everything I valued just skipped fucking town.
My body slowly slid from the arm of the couch back down onto one of its cushions. Jared continued to stand in the entry way. I couldn't look at him anymore but I knew he hadn't moved.
Say something, Jensen. Say what? We have both made our decisions. This is the best for everyone involved. Hearts will mend. It's not like this is the first time Jared has broken mine, I should be used to it by now. I'll just go back to Texas and then decide where I am going to go from there.
Realizing that the longer I stayed in the room with Jared, the harder it was going to be to leave; I stood and headed towards the opposite end of the den and a separate door that led towards the bedroom. My stuff was there, waiting to be packed. Might as well continue with that plan and get the hell out of here. No reason to stay any longer.
As I reached the door and started to step through, an arm encircled my waist.
"Don't go."
I couldn't face him. Nor could I stay. That would only make things worse.
"This is for the best, Jared. I'll be gone within the hour."
"I don't want you to go."
Christ! Stop making this harder than it is.
Turning around I met his gaze, as well as his body pressing fully up against me and his words filling my ears, "I want you to stay."
"But you just said..."
"Shut up and let me finish," he said, placing his hand over my mouth like I was a small child. "I know I didn't phrase it right, shit, I didn't even realize what I had completely said until I saw your reaction. I agree with you. We cannot hide any more. I don't want to lose you and if it means shouting over the PA at the Staples Center that I love you, well, then I will do it."
"Your teammates, hockey...,"I said, my words mumbled under the pressure of his fingers that were again pressed to my lips, harder this time.
"Just be fucking quiet for a second and stop interrupting me. Seven of my teammates already know and don't really give a rat's ass. They are happy for me. Of the remaining ones, probably half suspect I'm into guys and they don't really care either. The few that don't know a thing? They will just have to deal. I will deal. Because I choose you. I choose us. And if it means the end to my hockey career a little earlier than expected, well, then that's the hand I was dealt. Might just have to use that good ol' University of Texas education sooner than planned."
Jared lightly laughed and then pulled away from me a tad, one of my hands in his. I just stared at him. Floored. Stunned. No sure how to react.
He was choosing me. Our relationship.
Never in the million scenarios I ran through my head did I ever expect him to make the choice he did. I can't let him do this. It isn't fair to him.
"You can say something now, you know?"
"You can't do this. I won't let you lose hockey for me."
"Jensen, you are more important to me than any hockey game. Ten years from now, hell, maybe even five years, hockey won't be there anymore but I want you to be. And no, I don't expect you to hide in the shadows for those remaining years of my career. I want you right by my side, no matter what it takes. I'm willing to do what I need to do to keep you in my life...are you willing to stay with me?"
Need a time-out. Head swimming. Normally one of his kisses is what gets my mind all fuzzy, this time it was just his words. And the way he was looking at me...like someone totally, completely, faithfully in love with me. His fingers were still gripping mine, holding me tight. The boyish smile awaiting my answer.
Can't think. Must clear head.
Not sure of what to say, I let other parts of my body do the talking for me---They never seemed to freeze up and a majority of the time conveyed my true feelings quite adequately. Here's to hoping they don't fail me this time.
Lips crushed together, feverishly, breaths coming in gasps. Hands that had been joined were now in a race to remove the clothing that separated us from the desired contact.
Victory. Skin on skin.
Bedroom is too far. Couch will have to do.
Pushing Jared backwards until we were in front of the sofa, I settled down and pulled him to me so that he was straddling my waist while sitting on his knees. Our mouths never lost contact until he threw his head back and my teeth grazed over one of his nipples. His arms were resting on my shoulders, massaging the muscles underneath, while mine were doing the same thing to him, but only lower. God, does Jared have an amazing fucking ass or what? So fucking smooth and firm. My dick wants that ass so much.
With a tight grip on that luscious rear, I flipped our bodies so that I was now on top with my boyfriend trapped below me.
"Not wasting anytime are we?" He asked while gently rocking his hips up to mine. "I don't blame you; I wouldn't waste time either when it concerns me."
I love it when he gets all cocky.
Just like he loves my cock.
What a perfect pair we make.
Bending his legs up, I knelt at their apex and quickly spit plenty of moisture on my hand. A few pumps later and I guided my shaft in place.
We'd been in quite a hurry up to this point but I took my old sweet time savoring each and every stroke I made in and out of Jared's welcoming body. His hands casually jerked on his dick or tweaked my ultra-sensitive nipples.
Before I wanted it, the pressure inside me built until I could no longer control it.
"Fuck, Jared! Fuck!"
Our timing was in sync. As soon as I was climaxing inside of him, Jared lost himself over his chest and abs giving his fair share of props to God and myself.
"So," he said, still trying to catch his breath a moment later as he shifted his body so I could curl up beside him. "I guess this means we need to call U-Haul?"
I laughed and then flashed him my trademark smile, "Why don't we go try out that Jacuzzi tub of yours first? My stuff in Texas will still be there when you get done fucking me…it knows how to wait patiently. Me, on the other hand...."
As I watched Jared skitter off the couch and out the door headed towards the bathroom, with me in tow, I knew this was the way it should be. We'd come a long way from a simple game of pool on a cold, lonely night. Two strangers crossing over an invisible line to eventually meet at a crossroads, deciding then to try the same path...a road, while sometimes bumpy, that ultimately led to a life together.