Perfect Storm Response: Edited Version
Taking Kat's wise words to heart, here is a revamped version of my response. A spoonful of sugar etc...
The Perfect Storm Response
“Anything in direct quotes was recorded by me in a formal interview, either in person or on the telephone, and was altered as little as possible for grammar and clarity. All dialogue is based on the recollection of people who are still alive, and appears in dialogue form without quotation marks.” [Junger, XIV]
Sebastian Junger’s method of distinction between interview quotes and recollected dialogue fundamentally flaws his grammar in “The Perfect Storm.” If all dialogue is really based on the recollection of persons still alive, then in essence all dialogue was recorded by the author “in a formal interview, either in person or on the telephone,” at one time or another and the distinction is superfluous. The conflict in The Green Tavern that introduces Mary Anne to the reader is an early example of the author’s failure to communicate well with the reader. The lack of verbal signifiers leaves entire sentences inappropriately punctuated and waters down the dialogue to imperceptibly blend in with its supporting text. Junger’s negligence also dissolves the distinction between interacting persons, so several conversations are open for misinterpretation as the subject’s thoughts or a monologue.
There is a clear alternative to disregarding quotation marks when defining dialogue, italics. The use of italics targets text for the reader’s benefit and communicates the author’s silent notation without interfering with the basic rules of punctuation. The result is a seamless conversation between the storyteller and reader. The impact of an author’s story, no matter the magnitude, will be lost if the reader is distracted by acclimating to loose interpretations of punctuation and grammar. The importance of responsible punctuation is to the benefit of the author and the reader, anything less risks compromising the caliber of the narration.
“...She’s a tall blond who inspires crushes in the teenaged sons of some of her friends, but there’s a certain no-nonsense air about her that has always kept Bobby on his toes. Oh shit, here she comes, he whispers.
He hides his beer behind his arm and pulls the sunglasses down over his black eye. Mary Anne walks up. What do you think I am, stupid? she asks. Bobby pulls the beer out from hiding. She looks at his eye. Nice one, she says.
I was in a riff downtown.
Right.
Someone buys her a wine cooler and she takes a couple of sips. I just came to make sure you were getting on the boat, she says. You shouldn’t be drinking so early in the day.” [Junger, 7]
In spite of the dialogue faux pas, there was an especially impressive paragraph with a brilliant display of foreshadowing. Gloucester’s beacon of hope and solace is the church Our Lady of Good Voyage. The following excerpt is the image of Gloucester’s tradition of peril, prayer, and mourning. Bell towers that can be seen from miles away by incoming ships are symbolic of lighthouses. And instead of cradling the god of man, the Virgin Mary tenderly holds the god of Gloucester, a schooner.
“And they prayer. They walked up Prospect Street to the top of a step rise called Portagee Hill and stood beneath the twin bell towers of Our Lady of Good Voyage. The bell towers are one of the highest points in Gloucester and can be seen for miles by incoming ships. Between the towers is a sculpture of the Virgin Mary, who gazes down with love and concern at a bundle in her arms. This is the Virgin who has been charged with the safety of local fishermen. The bundle in her arms is not the infant Jesus; it’s a Gloucester schooner.” [Junger, 32]
The Perfect Storm Response
“Anything in direct quotes was recorded by me in a formal interview, either in person or on the telephone, and was altered as little as possible for grammar and clarity. All dialogue is based on the recollection of people who are still alive, and appears in dialogue form without quotation marks.” [Junger, XIV]
Sebastian Junger’s method of distinction between interview quotes and recollected dialogue fundamentally flaws his grammar in “The Perfect Storm.” If all dialogue is really based on the recollection of persons still alive, then in essence all dialogue was recorded by the author “in a formal interview, either in person or on the telephone,” at one time or another and the distinction is superfluous. The conflict in The Green Tavern that introduces Mary Anne to the reader is an early example of the author’s failure to communicate well with the reader. The lack of verbal signifiers leaves entire sentences inappropriately punctuated and waters down the dialogue to imperceptibly blend in with its supporting text. Junger’s negligence also dissolves the distinction between interacting persons, so several conversations are open for misinterpretation as the subject’s thoughts or a monologue.
There is a clear alternative to disregarding quotation marks when defining dialogue, italics. The use of italics targets text for the reader’s benefit and communicates the author’s silent notation without interfering with the basic rules of punctuation. The result is a seamless conversation between the storyteller and reader. The impact of an author’s story, no matter the magnitude, will be lost if the reader is distracted by acclimating to loose interpretations of punctuation and grammar. The importance of responsible punctuation is to the benefit of the author and the reader, anything less risks compromising the caliber of the narration.
“...She’s a tall blond who inspires crushes in the teenaged sons of some of her friends, but there’s a certain no-nonsense air about her that has always kept Bobby on his toes. Oh shit, here she comes, he whispers.
He hides his beer behind his arm and pulls the sunglasses down over his black eye. Mary Anne walks up. What do you think I am, stupid? she asks. Bobby pulls the beer out from hiding. She looks at his eye. Nice one, she says.
I was in a riff downtown.
Right.
Someone buys her a wine cooler and she takes a couple of sips. I just came to make sure you were getting on the boat, she says. You shouldn’t be drinking so early in the day.” [Junger, 7]
In spite of the dialogue faux pas, there was an especially impressive paragraph with a brilliant display of foreshadowing. Gloucester’s beacon of hope and solace is the church Our Lady of Good Voyage. The following excerpt is the image of Gloucester’s tradition of peril, prayer, and mourning. Bell towers that can be seen from miles away by incoming ships are symbolic of lighthouses. And instead of cradling the god of man, the Virgin Mary tenderly holds the god of Gloucester, a schooner.
“And they prayer. They walked up Prospect Street to the top of a step rise called Portagee Hill and stood beneath the twin bell towers of Our Lady of Good Voyage. The bell towers are one of the highest points in Gloucester and can be seen for miles by incoming ships. Between the towers is a sculpture of the Virgin Mary, who gazes down with love and concern at a bundle in her arms. This is the Virgin who has been charged with the safety of local fishermen. The bundle in her arms is not the infant Jesus; it’s a Gloucester schooner.” [Junger, 32]