(no subject)

Dec 16, 2007 00:37

This boy is not worth my time. He is livid over a joint. A JOINT.
I can't believe this.I'm on a 30 hour bus ride with my boyfriend and he is having a fucking panic attack over weed. I should be consoling him but this is so beyond my principles that I can't do anything. Well here is another story for my therapist about why I get angry about my boyfriend.
When we get off the bus I'm going to give him the silent treatment and then he is going to be "so sorry". Well Benji, I don't give a fuck. You made a fucking fool of both you and me. I am so fucking angry.

Wow. I wrote this shit hours ago. After we got off the bus @ a rest stop we got food and went to smoke ben's very important joint. I got very very high and demanded paper and pen and proceeded to write horrible things about ben. I couldn't speak because my throat was closed and my head was racing. I wrote absolutely disgusting things that were mean but truthful. What am I doing?! Destroying my vacation before it has even started. Ben was ovbiously mad, irritated, sad but he wouldn't say anything. He told me I should stop writing. I was so manipulative! A personality I have never seen. He makes me angry sometimes but I was inapropriate.

Augh. I am such a destroyer of good things.

But now that I've felt that I wonder if ben's experiance is the same. Cause while I was stoned he sounded like the biggest tool ever. Ever. But at the same time the kid sitting next to ben earlier was a total jackass to ben. I wanted to yell at him but I couldn't.

I honestly hope that I was just stoned and that ben doesnt usually sound that fucking stupid.

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