if_only_to_wake

[of_starlight]

collision
of bodies
darkness holds
dreams of
intangible love
angels or
demon wings
unable to tell

all the same

blur
of headlights
rushing of everyone
where do they go
i have nowhere
to run to
the sirens
come, i see
nothing and everything
at once
will it ever be the same
will i ever feel again

you

screaming
tears of hate
towards me?
turn away, turn away,
am i yelling at
you
or telling myself
this must be
a nightmare
i will wake from this
you
will wake from this
won't we?

tomorrow i'll meet you
at the Starbucks on 5th
you'll laugh
i'll blush
still
somehow after all
this time.
my coffee always cools
too soon
never wanting more
always craving more time
with you
soft scribble of words
your notebook
asking my opinion,
i always say
perfect, perfect

you're perfect.

walking away
only your back now
turning the corner
no use running after
you
saying goodbye to myself
blood
coming from....
the wreckage dims
falls
bleeds into the street,
the buildings
the cars
the hungry sky
lying on my back
but my cold eyes see
only blackness.

my name, my name
you call
suddenly i am with you
home
there was never another
you are alone
your place on 22nd
head in your hands
crying?
my name, my name
you call
dark couch
streetlights and shadows
soft music
humming fish tank
leaking faucet
ticking clock
never silent.
no need to talk,
i know
you know
i wouldn't know what to say.

white sheet
what's left of me
must be stuck somewhere
inside you.
i've been thinking if

you

could only touch me
one last time
i might wake from all of this