if you were still around i swear we would sit and stare we would be nowhere

[of_bitter_blood]

im on vacation in maryland,
started a new project with some pretty cool people including rich

speaking of which its been pretty rough lately between the two of us
we break up alot , and i told im today that we should take some time off
of course that was after i screamed at him on the phone for blaming me for his issues ,
i cant be blamed for this nonsense anymore , it has nothing to do with me

feeling angry when your with me
or second guessing , is not my fault it is an insecurity presented within a person
i dont tare him down daily
and have done my best to build up this relationship
when i know rich wont do that because hes trying to build up himself
i love rich very much and i dont want to not be with him , but it almost seems like theres not option
he doesnt care either way , if im upset or not , that wont ever matter
and to me that means there is something lacking in our love .
perhaps sincerity is lacking on his end
because i know how i feel
but i cant speak for rich

i cant understand anymore
because its hard to understand something that is forever changing
like rich is

i went from being a strength to a weakness
and thats something that is just to hard for me to take
but i cant let it get me down .
because there are things i need to achieve in this life , wether or not someone is ever truly with me