An Artificial Night
Away from light steals home my heavy son
And private in his chamber pens himself,
Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight
And makes himself an artificial night
For me the phrase "artificial night" takes on another meaning. We will be moving at the end of the week. He told his parents some time ago, whereas I have not yet said anything explicit to mine. I was pretty much told that I'll be stuck here until the economy turns around. Yes, my mother is going to hurtfully dismiss this all as "playing house". After our most recent talk, my father said that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings; he only meant to follow my heart, of course, but to also follow my head. Right now the two of us are making more than enough money for one person to reasonably move out. Add to that the fact that Ryan will no longer need to commute. I'm alright with a longer commute 5-6 days a week.
This doesn't change the fact that neither is comfortable with Ypsi. Yes, there is crime. Take a look at the section reporting daily crimes in the Ann Arbor News. By no means does Ann Arbor have Ypsi's reputation despite a proportionally equivalent crime rate. That's what happens in urban settings. The student ghetto isn't pretty or a desirable location, but we're not living there, nor the scuzzy areas near Belleville.
I'm convinced it will be more convenient for everyone once I leave, I know I'll certainly eat better (not disparaging my mom's cooking). I have more courage at night than I do in the daytime. I'm articulate when I go over it my head before going to sleep, but I just get tongue-tied in the day when I want to confront them and it seems like I'm just going along with what Ryan wants (which apparently consists of food and sex, according to my dad). Knowing that living here is little more than a waiting room frustrates me. Moving, even if job prospects are nil, gives at least the illusion of liberty over uncomfortable comfort. Yes, my car is an old wreck. I already gladly pay my parents the insurance money. I will no longer be on their health insurance once I turn 25. In this job market, it makes no difference where I'm living when these benefits expire. I'll still depend on them a good deal when I go to grad school, the only chance I have at getting a better job without waiting for opportunities in June.
Unfortunately I can't just disappear on Friday. I have no choice but to carry the night with me. Any second thoughts are out of consideration for my parents--I don't want to disappoint them.
And private in his chamber pens himself,
Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight
And makes himself an artificial night
For me the phrase "artificial night" takes on another meaning. We will be moving at the end of the week. He told his parents some time ago, whereas I have not yet said anything explicit to mine. I was pretty much told that I'll be stuck here until the economy turns around. Yes, my mother is going to hurtfully dismiss this all as "playing house". After our most recent talk, my father said that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings; he only meant to follow my heart, of course, but to also follow my head. Right now the two of us are making more than enough money for one person to reasonably move out. Add to that the fact that Ryan will no longer need to commute. I'm alright with a longer commute 5-6 days a week.
This doesn't change the fact that neither is comfortable with Ypsi. Yes, there is crime. Take a look at the section reporting daily crimes in the Ann Arbor News. By no means does Ann Arbor have Ypsi's reputation despite a proportionally equivalent crime rate. That's what happens in urban settings. The student ghetto isn't pretty or a desirable location, but we're not living there, nor the scuzzy areas near Belleville.
I'm convinced it will be more convenient for everyone once I leave, I know I'll certainly eat better (not disparaging my mom's cooking). I have more courage at night than I do in the daytime. I'm articulate when I go over it my head before going to sleep, but I just get tongue-tied in the day when I want to confront them and it seems like I'm just going along with what Ryan wants (which apparently consists of food and sex, according to my dad). Knowing that living here is little more than a waiting room frustrates me. Moving, even if job prospects are nil, gives at least the illusion of liberty over uncomfortable comfort. Yes, my car is an old wreck. I already gladly pay my parents the insurance money. I will no longer be on their health insurance once I turn 25. In this job market, it makes no difference where I'm living when these benefits expire. I'll still depend on them a good deal when I go to grad school, the only chance I have at getting a better job without waiting for opportunities in June.
Unfortunately I can't just disappear on Friday. I have no choice but to carry the night with me. Any second thoughts are out of consideration for my parents--I don't want to disappoint them.