(no subject)
I was thinking lastnight driving back from the video store after picking up Annapolis. This town is filled with ghosts from the past. The ones that I wanted to escape from so desperately. I hate the way I feel when I see someone from the past that I dont want to see. People that I had bad encounters with. I saw this guy that I use to catch rides with after school. At the time I thought he was the hottest thing ever and was doing what any typical girl would do to get his attention. I was manipulative and scheming. It all backfired and I started getting on his nerves. Needless to say we didnt talk anymore. This was years and years ago- I was 16! Why does it still bother me when I see him? I could care less about him. I am not that person I use to be and hes probably changed a great deal. Its just funny when you see someone like that all you remember is how they were and without getting to know them now you have no idea the person they have become over the past 10 years! When i see these people it just reminds me of all the stupid mistakes I made. I know, its life. But I guess i hate this town b/c every place I see has a memory attached to it. Some good but mostly bad. Since being in London I feel like I have finally been able to be myself for the first time in my life. I can go to the grocery store 5 times and not see one person I know- i like that. I can dress how I want and not worry about what others think. The thing is, no one really cares in London. At this moment in time, I like it. I could never live there for years or even think about living there the rest of my life b/c everything is so cold and dreary. Its just good for a time. I know if you live anywhere for a long period of time each place will have some sort of memory attached with it- thats life.
Its good to be home for a while though. Im still anxiously waiting for me student visa. I know i have everything in order and everything should be fine I just hate waiting! The longer I wait I get more paranoid about something going wrong. When i go back I am going to be taking a Sports Nutrition course and working part-time. I quit my last job when my work permit expired and I am going to look for something else when I go back the first of August. Its going to be a pain looking for a job all over again but I am happy for the change.
Its good to be home for a while though. Im still anxiously waiting for me student visa. I know i have everything in order and everything should be fine I just hate waiting! The longer I wait I get more paranoid about something going wrong. When i go back I am going to be taking a Sports Nutrition course and working part-time. I quit my last job when my work permit expired and I am going to look for something else when I go back the first of August. Its going to be a pain looking for a job all over again but I am happy for the change.