He looks like some kind of human ocelot
Chuck Klosterman is pretty funny sometimes. Here are some humorous and educational excerpts from his Final Four blog for ESPN:
• The nickname "Hoya" derives from the Greek and Latin phrase "Hoya Saxa," which loosely translates as "What Rocks!" This is apparently a reference to the stones that comprise the outer wall of Georgetown University. Clearly, these rocks are awesome: As of this afternoon, the college has never been overtaken by nomadic hordes. I'm not sure how rocks equate with a bulldog; maybe bulldogs like to eat rocks. I'm no zoologist.
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• Ohio State is in Columbus, Ohio. One of that city's most famous natives was Alice Schille, a watercolorist whose friends included Pablo Picasso and Rodin. Why this information was included in the Buckeyes basketball media guide remains a mystery on par with the Loch Ness monster. OSU is a pretty strange learning institution, all things considered. I believe it actually offers a post-graduate degree in couch burning.
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Frankly, Oden is my favorite player in this entire tournament. I love his stoicism. I realize members of the media are supposed to love "raw emotion," but I always find that undignified. At this very moment, I assume Joakim Noah is moshing around his hotel room and eating handfuls of glass and yelling at "The View" and hitting a tennis ball between his legs; he is a citizen of the world, but he's also something of a lunatic. I prefer the expressionless Mr. Oden, a person who's likely sitting beneath a singular table lamp, silently reading Chuck Eddy's analysis of the British invasion while peeling a tangerine. I always want my post players to be intimidating-yet-wooden.
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Are you aware that Columbus claims to have the best library system in the United States? How arrogant.
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The Gators were actually two minutes late for their 3:10 practice, and Noah came out of the locker room with his shoes untied. I initially wondered if this might indicate a degree of lackadaisical disinterest, but then they started practicing. For real. Of the four teams, Florida is the only university who seemed legitimately intense at this lazy, public practice. Billy Donovan is wearing a black track suit and chewing gum; his arms are crossed, and he's scowling at random kids with extreme prejudice. He looks like some kind of human ocelot.
• The nickname "Hoya" derives from the Greek and Latin phrase "Hoya Saxa," which loosely translates as "What Rocks!" This is apparently a reference to the stones that comprise the outer wall of Georgetown University. Clearly, these rocks are awesome: As of this afternoon, the college has never been overtaken by nomadic hordes. I'm not sure how rocks equate with a bulldog; maybe bulldogs like to eat rocks. I'm no zoologist.
...
• Ohio State is in Columbus, Ohio. One of that city's most famous natives was Alice Schille, a watercolorist whose friends included Pablo Picasso and Rodin. Why this information was included in the Buckeyes basketball media guide remains a mystery on par with the Loch Ness monster. OSU is a pretty strange learning institution, all things considered. I believe it actually offers a post-graduate degree in couch burning.
...
Frankly, Oden is my favorite player in this entire tournament. I love his stoicism. I realize members of the media are supposed to love "raw emotion," but I always find that undignified. At this very moment, I assume Joakim Noah is moshing around his hotel room and eating handfuls of glass and yelling at "The View" and hitting a tennis ball between his legs; he is a citizen of the world, but he's also something of a lunatic. I prefer the expressionless Mr. Oden, a person who's likely sitting beneath a singular table lamp, silently reading Chuck Eddy's analysis of the British invasion while peeling a tangerine. I always want my post players to be intimidating-yet-wooden.
...
Are you aware that Columbus claims to have the best library system in the United States? How arrogant.
...
The Gators were actually two minutes late for their 3:10 practice, and Noah came out of the locker room with his shoes untied. I initially wondered if this might indicate a degree of lackadaisical disinterest, but then they started practicing. For real. Of the four teams, Florida is the only university who seemed legitimately intense at this lazy, public practice. Billy Donovan is wearing a black track suit and chewing gum; his arms are crossed, and he's scowling at random kids with extreme prejudice. He looks like some kind of human ocelot.