Sappy.
The need to fall in love, is the craving for having someone to talk to at the end of the day, to have him ask you,"How was your day today?" and he'll listen to you go on and on about how sucky it was and at the end of it, it doesn't matter because he'll say that at least you still have him, and that'll make things at least a little bit more better if not entirely.
You feel complete, like that organ inside you is whole, not a wreck for once and you know that you are not alone. There is that someone who'll be there for you and there is that someone who you'll be there for, at least you have a reason for living. When you are alone, his face fills your head, his voice constantly looping at the back of your mind, "I love you", and his touch, though not there always caressing you, giving you all the comfort in the world. You're still together even though you're apart.
And when lightning strikes, and the storm takes it place, sometimes you fight, but at the end, always reconcile and provide each other the warmth that you've been sharing all this while because the feeling is too good to be lost, too good to avoid, and you love each other too much to let go. The heart will ache if you do, the body incomplete once more. You've felt that before, you don't want to feel it again, no you don't.
You remember: Saturday night, you return to an empty house, no one to talk to, no one to tolerate. You switch on the television and let it talk to you, you stare at a screen so alive but you feel so blank. You wander around the house, through the living room, through the bedrooms, through the kitchen, bury yourself on the couch, your cold dinner untouched on the floor, the milk collecting dust on the surface. You brew your tea and forgot about it, you're too dazed to care. You return to your bed, take your phone and scrolled down your contacts, and then you're back at letter A and you realised there's no one you can talk to, then you stopped at your last love, thinking maybe you're too much of a nuisance, maybe that's exactly why he left you.
And you don't want to be there again. That sickening, loser, feeling. That feeling whereby you just feel so alone. You cry. You cried so much. You cried and cried, no one knows what is wrong, what is the reason, no one knows how to comfort you, no one knows what to do. You don't know how to comfort yourself. You listen to sappy love songs, only to make yourself feel worse, you try to let out a song, try to sing along but you're so broken, you can't even say something without breaking down.
That need to fall in love and be loved in return, is because you are week, you need someone to love you, you need someone to love for you to be strong. You need to be complete, you need your reason to live, you need someone else's eyes to drown in.
I am so depressed I don't know what to do.