It kills me
Went to hang out with Arielle (Ella) in DC Thursday evening. It's great to see her, and Zod knows I love her company, but I'm distraught over how things turned out between she and I. Story of my life: only friends, never lovers. It's just so frustrating! Jesus Christ, how many times do I have to go through this? I meet someone fantastic, we have so much in common, and then....nothing.
And that's the best case scenario. I live in the god damned boonies. In these particular boonies, the women are under-aged, uneducated, NASCAR fanatics, pregnant, or (almost always) all of the above. Adding further difficulties in my physical appearance: people tell me I'm not ugly, but I'm certainly not attractive. Unfortunately, it seems I would need to be attractive to have anything more than friendship.
I'm anchored to this place and to this condition by my job for at LEAST another year. I wish I could just run away from myself sometimes. Just board a bus to Nowhere in Particular,USA and start a new life.
Fuck.
And that's the best case scenario. I live in the god damned boonies. In these particular boonies, the women are under-aged, uneducated, NASCAR fanatics, pregnant, or (almost always) all of the above. Adding further difficulties in my physical appearance: people tell me I'm not ugly, but I'm certainly not attractive. Unfortunately, it seems I would need to be attractive to have anything more than friendship.
I'm anchored to this place and to this condition by my job for at LEAST another year. I wish I could just run away from myself sometimes. Just board a bus to Nowhere in Particular,USA and start a new life.
Fuck.