(no subject)
I'm not an emotional person, outwardly. At least to some extent. Meaning, if I'm happy, you'll know it, and you'll clap your hands. But if I get sad or melancholy or lonely or angry I go to great lengths to hide it. Sometimes it comes out anyway, but for the most part I'm the least expressive person you'll ever meet when it comes to that sort of thing.
Lately, I've been having trouble with it. I'm tired of hiding how lonely I am, how much I miss her, and how desperately I'd like just to be able to be with her right now. Because honestly, it makes it worse. No one coming up to me and going "hey now, whats wrong? don't worry, it'll get better." No one comforting me. Not that I want it, or would accept it if someone offered. ...but still. I feel stretched thin.
It's made worse by not knowing when we'll see each other again. I want it to be soon. Hell, I want it to be now. But the realist in me fears it won't be soon. Depression sets in.
My father once said there are three types of people in this world: the pessimists, the optimists, and the realists. The pessimists always think the glass is half empty. The optimists always think the glass is half full. And the realists...they just drink the damn glass and move on.
I wish I had told her "I love you" in her driveway as she left. Instead I just waved and brushed away a tear as she pulled away.
What the hell happened to me.
Lately, I've been having trouble with it. I'm tired of hiding how lonely I am, how much I miss her, and how desperately I'd like just to be able to be with her right now. Because honestly, it makes it worse. No one coming up to me and going "hey now, whats wrong? don't worry, it'll get better." No one comforting me. Not that I want it, or would accept it if someone offered. ...but still. I feel stretched thin.
It's made worse by not knowing when we'll see each other again. I want it to be soon. Hell, I want it to be now. But the realist in me fears it won't be soon. Depression sets in.
My father once said there are three types of people in this world: the pessimists, the optimists, and the realists. The pessimists always think the glass is half empty. The optimists always think the glass is half full. And the realists...they just drink the damn glass and move on.
I wish I had told her "I love you" in her driveway as she left. Instead I just waved and brushed away a tear as she pulled away.
What the hell happened to me.