I wish I had a clever subject title
The more I think about this journal the more I wonder why I have it. initially a few years ago it was simply to put down day to day thoughts as I was in desperation mode via depression. I've managed to get a better handle on my emotional state and its causes but I find this journal and my particpation in some what shallow.
There is a great deal about me that I havent revealed.
Im not sure why, I guess fear of self examination is one big reason but I'm also not confident that i would be fully understood either. While my readership is hardly in the top ranks of LJ I still have that small voice in my head saying "you wont be believed"
The stories seem to be a means to the end I guess, fictional charecters are a great vehicle as to expressing an inner demon or expirence. That said I feel like im at a crossroads with LJ, I read all of my friends journals everyday and genuinely care ( as hard as that might seem) about them and thier lives.
I feel vested in a lot of them, but not in my own. Odd really, you know its the holliday season and in the past I have become crippled, non responsive and a wall of secrecy, I dont feel its onset this time.
Perhaps the stories will become non fiction soon.
There is a great deal about me that I havent revealed.
Im not sure why, I guess fear of self examination is one big reason but I'm also not confident that i would be fully understood either. While my readership is hardly in the top ranks of LJ I still have that small voice in my head saying "you wont be believed"
The stories seem to be a means to the end I guess, fictional charecters are a great vehicle as to expressing an inner demon or expirence. That said I feel like im at a crossroads with LJ, I read all of my friends journals everyday and genuinely care ( as hard as that might seem) about them and thier lives.
I feel vested in a lot of them, but not in my own. Odd really, you know its the holliday season and in the past I have become crippled, non responsive and a wall of secrecy, I dont feel its onset this time.
Perhaps the stories will become non fiction soon.