(no subject)
Hello, tender vittles and kool kitties, it's the Crow, Old Crow Maximus, here with another edition of Kooking With Krow! Yes, kiddies, and on today's episode I make my world famous BBQ Chili!
Ingredients (that I can remeber...)
1andsumthingsumthing lbs. beef. (okay, so it's pretty old and been defrosted, but I"m sure the very slight greenish tint is just self-envy at it being so goddammed meaty. yeah)
1 tiny onion (otherwise half an onion gets thrown away) minced, diced, chopped up to itty bitty pieces
A coupla cloves garlic, crushed, with vigor, for Baal
A, uh, teaspoon cumin and chilli powder? Or was that paprika and chili powder? Or a table spoon? Whatever, dunk it in!
2 cans chopped tomatoes with chilis. Note: green chilis are key, they are life, they are SPICE.
2 cans minced, smoked green chilis. AGAIN. SPICE. I expect folks to start talking to angry desert gods and getting green eyes after eating this chili.
2 cans red beans type things.
Shredded cheddar cheese and some sour cream. Vital, vital post prep ingredient for the delicious chili/cheese/dairy bomb extravaganza this becomes.
1 (one) or more (mawr) bottle Lime Jarritos, and possibly cheap whiskey. This is VITAL to the chili cooking process. Terribly important. If it's not Jarritos, for gawd sakes, what are you even doing here?
(totally not added later) 1 jar of hot salsa
Okay, so take yer BOIDAOOR (Beef Of Indeterminate Age, Origin, or Religion) and plunk it into a pan. Start cooking it on some very low setting because 1)it'll help with, um, flavor? And stuff? and 2) I haven't prepped shit and it takes me forever to chop stuff. Chop up onion and add to beef, stirring. Crush up a couple of cloves of garlic and add to beef. Drink some whiskey jarritos and ponder how you haven't eaten since this morning. BAH! Sauce is terribly important to the cooking process, as is being sauced. Forget what went with the chili powder and in what amount, shrug nonchalantly and add a teaspoon of chili powder and some cumin. Or was that paprika? Laugh heartily at convention and drink away your concerns with some more Jarritos. Mix in powdered spices to the beefy, oniony juice and let sit, bubbling at low temp for a while, at least until beef is nice and brown and onions are more or less clearish.
In a BAP (Big Ass Pot) empty your beans, tomatoes with delicious green chilis and green chilis. Once beef stuff is done cooking in pan, add it to the BAP and stir together. Put BAP on same range as pan, cuz, y'know, you think vaguely it might help conserve electricity or something. Sip some more jarwhiskos and forget how much you sound like your dad. So, stir all that crap together, keep the range at the low temp and put on lid. Let simmer for an hour or two, to really let everything schmooze together (this is a technical cooking-type word I totally did not make up). Totally forget to add the 1 (one) jar of hot salsa to the mix cuz you were trying to sound humorous on your lj.
All right, so, mid way through, though, comes the SEKRET part. This is what separates the Old Crow's bachelors spicy sweet chili from all those other "chilis" made at "restaurants" by "clowns in human disguises". Yeah, I'm calling your bluff, Clowninati! Mid way through, add a whole crap ton of BBQ sauce. This helps offset the spiciness of the chili with the delicious godly flavor of sweet BBQ sauce. What you end up with (most times) is a very simple, slightly spicy chili with a sweet Counter Taste (totally trademarking that). Afterwards, make yourself a bowl and, if you happen to be a personage, avianish or otherwise, add a staggering amount of shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream. Voila, you now have a bubbling pot of the most delicious chili this side of the freaking Missisip. Now all I need to do is find out how to make corn bread...
Ingredients (that I can remeber...)
1andsumthingsumthing lbs. beef. (okay, so it's pretty old and been defrosted, but I"m sure the very slight greenish tint is just self-envy at it being so goddammed meaty. yeah)
1 tiny onion (otherwise half an onion gets thrown away) minced, diced, chopped up to itty bitty pieces
A coupla cloves garlic, crushed, with vigor, for Baal
A, uh, teaspoon cumin and chilli powder? Or was that paprika and chili powder? Or a table spoon? Whatever, dunk it in!
2 cans chopped tomatoes with chilis. Note: green chilis are key, they are life, they are SPICE.
2 cans minced, smoked green chilis. AGAIN. SPICE. I expect folks to start talking to angry desert gods and getting green eyes after eating this chili.
2 cans red beans type things.
Shredded cheddar cheese and some sour cream. Vital, vital post prep ingredient for the delicious chili/cheese/dairy bomb extravaganza this becomes.
1 (one) or more (mawr) bottle Lime Jarritos, and possibly cheap whiskey. This is VITAL to the chili cooking process. Terribly important. If it's not Jarritos, for gawd sakes, what are you even doing here?
(totally not added later) 1 jar of hot salsa
Okay, so take yer BOIDAOOR (Beef Of Indeterminate Age, Origin, or Religion) and plunk it into a pan. Start cooking it on some very low setting because 1)it'll help with, um, flavor? And stuff? and 2) I haven't prepped shit and it takes me forever to chop stuff. Chop up onion and add to beef, stirring. Crush up a couple of cloves of garlic and add to beef. Drink some whiskey jarritos and ponder how you haven't eaten since this morning. BAH! Sauce is terribly important to the cooking process, as is being sauced. Forget what went with the chili powder and in what amount, shrug nonchalantly and add a teaspoon of chili powder and some cumin. Or was that paprika? Laugh heartily at convention and drink away your concerns with some more Jarritos. Mix in powdered spices to the beefy, oniony juice and let sit, bubbling at low temp for a while, at least until beef is nice and brown and onions are more or less clearish.
In a BAP (Big Ass Pot) empty your beans, tomatoes with delicious green chilis and green chilis. Once beef stuff is done cooking in pan, add it to the BAP and stir together. Put BAP on same range as pan, cuz, y'know, you think vaguely it might help conserve electricity or something. Sip some more jarwhiskos and forget how much you sound like your dad. So, stir all that crap together, keep the range at the low temp and put on lid. Let simmer for an hour or two, to really let everything schmooze together (this is a technical cooking-type word I totally did not make up). Totally forget to add the 1 (one) jar of hot salsa to the mix cuz you were trying to sound humorous on your lj.
All right, so, mid way through, though, comes the SEKRET part. This is what separates the Old Crow's bachelors spicy sweet chili from all those other "chilis" made at "restaurants" by "clowns in human disguises". Yeah, I'm calling your bluff, Clowninati! Mid way through, add a whole crap ton of BBQ sauce. This helps offset the spiciness of the chili with the delicious godly flavor of sweet BBQ sauce. What you end up with (most times) is a very simple, slightly spicy chili with a sweet Counter Taste (totally trademarking that). Afterwards, make yourself a bowl and, if you happen to be a personage, avianish or otherwise, add a staggering amount of shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream. Voila, you now have a bubbling pot of the most delicious chili this side of the freaking Missisip. Now all I need to do is find out how to make corn bread...