In which I continue to be awesome at keeping up with the internet.
I missed Friday, again, because everything was chaos and work and explosions. Today, random wall outlets are dying and the Internet keeps disappearing at intervals. I am hereby anointing today Substitute Friday, or if you need, Friturday.
Shiny moving picture things, an oldie but a serious goodie:
In meme things:
Day 10 - When was the last time you felt really happy?
Earlier this evening I wrote a sentence that made me so happy I had to run over and dig up amonitrate and pelt her with it. It was just that good of a sentence. That made me very happy. For reference, the sentence was and is: "Behind them, something blew up, and [American Maid] hoped whatever it was, some burning part of it fell on Die Fledermaus."
In the story, American Maid is at that point kissing the Ottoman Empress. Their relationship with Die Fledermaus is complicated.
Okay yes, that might be too much of a look into my psyche. Let's move on, people.
Day 11 - If you had to give away a million dollars, who would you give it to?
All the animal shelters I could get my hands on. Easy question. Just a million? Wah.
Day 12 - Which things do you miss from your past?
I'm not really into regret at all, which is what this question stinks of. I'm kind of a forward-moving, don't-look-back-just-jump type of person, which explains both my high tolerance for traditionally dangerous things and the fact that I'm not on speaking terms with any of my exes.
However, a few years ago I read Anne Lamott's phenomenal book Bird by Bird, and at the end of it, she reproduces a commencement speech she gave which contained what I decided was invaluable advice:
And -- oh my God -- I nearly forgot the most important thing: refuse to wear uncomfortable pants, even if they make you look really thin. Promise me you'll never wear pants that bind or tug or hurt, pants that have an opinion about how much you've just eaten. The pants may be lying! There is way too much lying and scolding going on politically right now without your pants getting in on the act, too.
So I read this and it struck me as transcendental wisdom and from that day forward I gave up pants with buttons. True story. I gave away all my pants that buttoned and zipped, on the grounds that they were by their very nature, untrustworthy fuckers. I replaced them with pants that operated either by elastic or by drawstring, and after three or so years, I am here to tell you: that one decision has increased the quality of my life by at least 20%.
You kind of don't realize how much you let pants tell you what to do until you stop listening to them, tell them to shut the fuck up and get in the Goodwill bag and in their stead, promise to wear only pants that love you no matter how much you ate the day before. It's astonishing. At least 20%.
I don't miss those pants at all. I kind of miss Friday, though.
ETA: The full text of Anne Lamott's commencement speech is here. It is not this other one although that one is outstanding as well.
ETA Again: Okay no, hang on. I'm not advocating a caloric free-for-all here, unless you know that that would make you healthy. I'm saying that pants are a terrible guide to personal health. How about instead you used things like Hey, I ran a mile today and didn't die at the end. Maybe I even ran a little faster than the last time. Especially if last time you ran a mile you ended by throwing up your spleen. Which then burst into flames. I'm just saying.
Shiny moving picture things, an oldie but a serious goodie:
Click to viewIn meme things:
Day 10 - When was the last time you felt really happy?
Earlier this evening I wrote a sentence that made me so happy I had to run over and dig up amonitrate and pelt her with it. It was just that good of a sentence. That made me very happy. For reference, the sentence was and is: "Behind them, something blew up, and [American Maid] hoped whatever it was, some burning part of it fell on Die Fledermaus."
In the story, American Maid is at that point kissing the Ottoman Empress. Their relationship with Die Fledermaus is complicated.
Okay yes, that might be too much of a look into my psyche. Let's move on, people.
Day 11 - If you had to give away a million dollars, who would you give it to?
All the animal shelters I could get my hands on. Easy question. Just a million? Wah.
Day 12 - Which things do you miss from your past?
I'm not really into regret at all, which is what this question stinks of. I'm kind of a forward-moving, don't-look-back-just-jump type of person, which explains both my high tolerance for traditionally dangerous things and the fact that I'm not on speaking terms with any of my exes.
However, a few years ago I read Anne Lamott's phenomenal book Bird by Bird, and at the end of it, she reproduces a commencement speech she gave which contained what I decided was invaluable advice:
And -- oh my God -- I nearly forgot the most important thing: refuse to wear uncomfortable pants, even if they make you look really thin. Promise me you'll never wear pants that bind or tug or hurt, pants that have an opinion about how much you've just eaten. The pants may be lying! There is way too much lying and scolding going on politically right now without your pants getting in on the act, too.
So I read this and it struck me as transcendental wisdom and from that day forward I gave up pants with buttons. True story. I gave away all my pants that buttoned and zipped, on the grounds that they were by their very nature, untrustworthy fuckers. I replaced them with pants that operated either by elastic or by drawstring, and after three or so years, I am here to tell you: that one decision has increased the quality of my life by at least 20%.
You kind of don't realize how much you let pants tell you what to do until you stop listening to them, tell them to shut the fuck up and get in the Goodwill bag and in their stead, promise to wear only pants that love you no matter how much you ate the day before. It's astonishing. At least 20%.
I don't miss those pants at all. I kind of miss Friday, though.
ETA: The full text of Anne Lamott's commencement speech is here. It is not this other one although that one is outstanding as well.
ETA Again: Okay no, hang on. I'm not advocating a caloric free-for-all here, unless you know that that would make you healthy. I'm saying that pants are a terrible guide to personal health. How about instead you used things like Hey, I ran a mile today and didn't die at the end. Maybe I even ran a little faster than the last time. Especially if last time you ran a mile you ended by throwing up your spleen. Which then burst into flames. I'm just saying.