Sigh
Ugh, my issues are getting worse. First it was stress-related mood swings then it was nausea last night... though that could very well have been the artichokes I ate, since I can't eat very much in the way of those without feeling a little sick.
But damn, I'm getting annoyed with all this dread about the future, but I can't help it... I'm having a lot of trouble trusting that things will work out okay. Part of it, I know, is not knowing whether or not we'll end up in the same place afterward, and also that I'm terrified of leaving him and terrified of him leaving me (the only way I can talk about IT without crying usually. If you've seen previous entries, I'm sure you'll have some idea of what I mean). I don't want to leave him since he's had one loss in the past. I don't know if I'll be able to take him leaving me...
But enough of that. I don't need to be crying.
But I can't easily talk about our anniversary otherwise...
We ate at TGI Friday that was opposite the theater we went to. I had a Piccato (or something like that) pasta. He had Hibachi-style chicken skewers. Before we left, I gave him his present :D Kick-Ass on Blu-Ray, DvD AND digital copy, Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead. Before we went to see the movie, we hung out at the mall for a while at Game Nite. They has a mascot at that one now xD Hermit crabs! I hope they learn how to take care of them :3 <3 Boyfriend (really need to see if I mentioned a way to refer to him other than "boyfriend"...) watched a game two someones were learning to play in one of the boxes, I oversaw and asked questions to the lady that was setting up the hermit crab tank and gave her a few tips, like telling her that they could eat anything from raw beef to bananas since they're scavengers. Boyfriend also bought me two GiantMicrobes :3 *Bounces.* One is a Yeast and the other is a Bookworm. I have yet to name them, lol. After we left to go see the movie, the boyfriend informed me that he WAS going to buy me Black or White until I asked him to buy those for me. "I wanted to support the store" he said, lol. I about started crying LOL But he later told me as we were leaving the mall parking lot that he would buy it for me after all. First we went to the Evilness (the uninitiated may know it as Best Buy), but they were closed. Then we went to another place, and they were closed. So we went to see the movie (Unknown with Liam Neeson, pretty good. It's nice to see a straightforward movie like Salt) and then we went to find another place that we could buy it from. I think we went by another place, or that was before the movie, and it was closed as well (well, damn, it was near midnight, lol), so we just went to WalMart and got it. I offered to buy him something as we were crossing the road to the theater if he would buy me Black or White, but he said he'd buy it for me anyway. But I bought him something anyway <3
When I saw the cases for Black and White I was damn near confused. It holds true to the feeling of Yin and Yang for the two legendaries on the boxes though. Black is the white Pokemon Reshiram (Dragon/Lightning) on a black background and White is the black Pokemon Zekrom (Dragon/Fire) on a white background. ... I might have those two types backward... But he bought me Black as it's what we thought that I declared I wanted and I bought him Fallout 3 :3
I did some looking up on Bulbapedia earlier to see if it was what I wanted before I got into the bag that it was in and it seems that White may be what I wanted instead, since it has White Forest and easy access to Pidgey and Nidoran and has Solosis. But oh well. I don't mind, although I get the Gothic-style Pokemon Gothita instead.
I felt pretty materialistic, though, when I was thinking about wanting the newest. I mean... I felt pretty shallow for it. *Sigh.* Oh well...
I hate being terrified about the future, not willing or able to look or plan a week into the future unless it's a holiday thing or something with family...
Happy Anniversary turned partial Unhappy Anniversary due to too much thinking...
And I wish that the goddamn ex would stay the fuck outta my head. No idea why I had it in a dream. And yes, the ex is no longer worthy of a gender-specific noun. The ex is an it, a lowlife, bottom-feeding asshole.
But damn, I'm getting annoyed with all this dread about the future, but I can't help it... I'm having a lot of trouble trusting that things will work out okay. Part of it, I know, is not knowing whether or not we'll end up in the same place afterward, and also that I'm terrified of leaving him and terrified of him leaving me (the only way I can talk about IT without crying usually. If you've seen previous entries, I'm sure you'll have some idea of what I mean). I don't want to leave him since he's had one loss in the past. I don't know if I'll be able to take him leaving me...
But enough of that. I don't need to be crying.
But I can't easily talk about our anniversary otherwise...
We ate at TGI Friday that was opposite the theater we went to. I had a Piccato (or something like that) pasta. He had Hibachi-style chicken skewers. Before we left, I gave him his present :D Kick-Ass on Blu-Ray, DvD AND digital copy, Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead. Before we went to see the movie, we hung out at the mall for a while at Game Nite. They has a mascot at that one now xD Hermit crabs! I hope they learn how to take care of them :3 <3 Boyfriend (really need to see if I mentioned a way to refer to him other than "boyfriend"...) watched a game two someones were learning to play in one of the boxes, I oversaw and asked questions to the lady that was setting up the hermit crab tank and gave her a few tips, like telling her that they could eat anything from raw beef to bananas since they're scavengers. Boyfriend also bought me two GiantMicrobes :3 *Bounces.* One is a Yeast and the other is a Bookworm. I have yet to name them, lol. After we left to go see the movie, the boyfriend informed me that he WAS going to buy me Black or White until I asked him to buy those for me. "I wanted to support the store" he said, lol. I about started crying LOL But he later told me as we were leaving the mall parking lot that he would buy it for me after all. First we went to the Evilness (the uninitiated may know it as Best Buy), but they were closed. Then we went to another place, and they were closed. So we went to see the movie (Unknown with Liam Neeson, pretty good. It's nice to see a straightforward movie like Salt) and then we went to find another place that we could buy it from. I think we went by another place, or that was before the movie, and it was closed as well (well, damn, it was near midnight, lol), so we just went to WalMart and got it. I offered to buy him something as we were crossing the road to the theater if he would buy me Black or White, but he said he'd buy it for me anyway. But I bought him something anyway <3
When I saw the cases for Black and White I was damn near confused. It holds true to the feeling of Yin and Yang for the two legendaries on the boxes though. Black is the white Pokemon Reshiram (Dragon/Lightning) on a black background and White is the black Pokemon Zekrom (Dragon/Fire) on a white background. ... I might have those two types backward... But he bought me Black as it's what we thought that I declared I wanted and I bought him Fallout 3 :3
I did some looking up on Bulbapedia earlier to see if it was what I wanted before I got into the bag that it was in and it seems that White may be what I wanted instead, since it has White Forest and easy access to Pidgey and Nidoran and has Solosis. But oh well. I don't mind, although I get the Gothic-style Pokemon Gothita instead.
I felt pretty materialistic, though, when I was thinking about wanting the newest. I mean... I felt pretty shallow for it. *Sigh.* Oh well...
I hate being terrified about the future, not willing or able to look or plan a week into the future unless it's a holiday thing or something with family...
Happy Anniversary turned partial Unhappy Anniversary due to too much thinking...
And I wish that the goddamn ex would stay the fuck outta my head. No idea why I had it in a dream. And yes, the ex is no longer worthy of a gender-specific noun. The ex is an it, a lowlife, bottom-feeding asshole.