Writing Workshop 1: I remember
I remember the way he used to look at me sometimes. The total exasperation, it's the only way to describe it. Maybe frustration even, as if he really thought that if I just made a bit more effort I wouldn't be as embarrassing or awkward. He loved it too though, except of course, the sex comments, those he never really loved. Well, maybe a little, the ones that made him sound all studly and full of prowess, but, where was I? Oh yes, the way he looked at me. It was as if he just didn't get it. How I could take one thing, and another thing, and come up with what I came up with. It wasn't obvious to him, it wasn't obvious to anyone I don't think.
It was funny, Xander was used to being the one who said strange things, funny things. I guess I sort of took a bit of that away from him. Not that I meant to, it wasn't like I was trying to strange. If anything, I was just trying to do what I thought I was supposed to, or what felt right. It wasn't the purely confused or annoyed look that I'd get from Buffy or Willow, or the tired look that Giles would give me. I mean, I know they cared too, but it wasn't the same.
It's why he could never stay mad at me for long. Why he'd do that little half smiley eye rolly thing and say 'that's my girl'. He meant it well, I mean, I know he did. He loved me still. In spite of it all? Maybe because of it too sometimes.
It was funny, Xander was used to being the one who said strange things, funny things. I guess I sort of took a bit of that away from him. Not that I meant to, it wasn't like I was trying to strange. If anything, I was just trying to do what I thought I was supposed to, or what felt right. It wasn't the purely confused or annoyed look that I'd get from Buffy or Willow, or the tired look that Giles would give me. I mean, I know they cared too, but it wasn't the same.
It's why he could never stay mad at me for long. Why he'd do that little half smiley eye rolly thing and say 'that's my girl'. He meant it well, I mean, I know he did. He loved me still. In spite of it all? Maybe because of it too sometimes.