Dickey Moe
I was in a weird mood today, and I just felt like being a dick. Here is a list of things that I did today.
1. First thing this morning, I went to my supervisor and told her my light was not working, and
asked if she would call maintanence. She said, " I thought they fixed that yesterday."
I replied, "That's what you get for thinking." and I walked away. Needless to say my light still
does not work.
2. Our ice machine broke down, and today we had no ice, so I stopped at a grocery store on my route
and bought a 20 lbs. bag. In the parking lot I filled my water jug, my little ice chest, and my big
drinking mug. I still had about 3 lbs of ice left. As I was trying to figure out what to do with the last bit
of ice, a homeless man walked up to me and said, " Do you have a couple of dollars so that I can
get some ice and water?" Now keep in mind that it was 10 in the morning and already 105° out.
I looked at him and said, " I'm not a bank, get the fuck away from me." Then I overturned the bag
and dumped the remaining ice onto the asphalt.
3. It was 118° today, and at about 3:00pm I saw a drunk Indian (as if there was another kind) passed out
on the sidewalk. He had pulled his shirt up over his head so that his naked back was on the concrete.
Now when it is 118°, the concrete is about 130°. He was in some serious trouble. He is going to have 2nd
if not 3rd degree burns on his body. All I could do was laugh and wish that I had a camera. Then something
better came to mind. I looked around, and there was nobody in sight. I parked my truck, got out, and walked
over to him. As I approached I could hear him moaning, no doubt because he was burning. I leaned down
to him, and as loud as I could I screamed "FIRE!!!" into his ear and backed away. He instantly jumped up and
ran down the street. I laughed for a half an hour.
4. At the end of the day, I clocked out and was walking across the work room floor on my way out, and stopped
to say goodnight to a couple of ladies (Maria and Ruth) An old supervisor who had come back to our building
for a meeting came over. OK First off, this guy is Chinese and nobody can understand a fucking thing that he says.
2nd, because he can't speak English he says stupid shit like "Therl aw too many peeples lunning alound the
office, you must obey the speed rimit". Sooooo he comes over and says "Hi, goo afferl-noon, Malia can I tawk
to you foh minnut?" As soon as that came out of his mouth I turned to Ruth and said, "What the fuck did he just say?"
He looked at me like I just stabbed him in the chest, and then the recognition spread over him as he "leorized"
I was the one that always said shit like that to him, and he turned and left.
It was so fucking hot today that the decals on one of our trucks started to burn.
(Someone else had a camera and sent me the pic)
Completely Unrelated Pic
What I'm Listening to:
knorkator - Eh, du alte Ficksau
Bonus track:
Lords of Acid - Stripper
1. First thing this morning, I went to my supervisor and told her my light was not working, and
asked if she would call maintanence. She said, " I thought they fixed that yesterday."
I replied, "That's what you get for thinking." and I walked away. Needless to say my light still
does not work.
2. Our ice machine broke down, and today we had no ice, so I stopped at a grocery store on my route
and bought a 20 lbs. bag. In the parking lot I filled my water jug, my little ice chest, and my big
drinking mug. I still had about 3 lbs of ice left. As I was trying to figure out what to do with the last bit
of ice, a homeless man walked up to me and said, " Do you have a couple of dollars so that I can
get some ice and water?" Now keep in mind that it was 10 in the morning and already 105° out.
I looked at him and said, " I'm not a bank, get the fuck away from me." Then I overturned the bag
and dumped the remaining ice onto the asphalt.
3. It was 118° today, and at about 3:00pm I saw a drunk Indian (as if there was another kind) passed out
on the sidewalk. He had pulled his shirt up over his head so that his naked back was on the concrete.
Now when it is 118°, the concrete is about 130°. He was in some serious trouble. He is going to have 2nd
if not 3rd degree burns on his body. All I could do was laugh and wish that I had a camera. Then something
better came to mind. I looked around, and there was nobody in sight. I parked my truck, got out, and walked
over to him. As I approached I could hear him moaning, no doubt because he was burning. I leaned down
to him, and as loud as I could I screamed "FIRE!!!" into his ear and backed away. He instantly jumped up and
ran down the street. I laughed for a half an hour.
4. At the end of the day, I clocked out and was walking across the work room floor on my way out, and stopped
to say goodnight to a couple of ladies (Maria and Ruth) An old supervisor who had come back to our building
for a meeting came over. OK First off, this guy is Chinese and nobody can understand a fucking thing that he says.
2nd, because he can't speak English he says stupid shit like "Therl aw too many peeples lunning alound the
office, you must obey the speed rimit". Sooooo he comes over and says "Hi, goo afferl-noon, Malia can I tawk
to you foh minnut?" As soon as that came out of his mouth I turned to Ruth and said, "What the fuck did he just say?"
He looked at me like I just stabbed him in the chest, and then the recognition spread over him as he "leorized"
I was the one that always said shit like that to him, and he turned and left.
It was so fucking hot today that the decals on one of our trucks started to burn.
(Someone else had a camera and sent me the pic)
Completely Unrelated Pic
What I'm Listening to:
knorkator - Eh, du alte Ficksau
Bonus track:
Lords of Acid - Stripper