(no subject)

[oddjob5252]

well thats it i dont know what to think . i find myself upset tonight and well i dont know why well i think i know why but i dont want what im thinking to happen i dont know i guess i just set myself up for pain i always have and i guess i always will well i dont really feel like talking much but i still wanted to write something but i dont know life is not fun she says she doesnt wan to hurt me but well i hurts hearing her say that and she says its too late for me not to get hurt but well i know that i very much dont want her to hurt me or me hurt her but i dont know what is going to happen . i mean i am so happy when i am around her just getting to look into her eyes makes me forget about whatever has gone on in the day and i wish she would feel the same about me. every time my phone rings her ring my heart skipps a beat cuz im so excited that she is calling me even when i know she going to call. she says she likes me and i believe her she has even said she loves me but once agin she does not want to hurt me cuz she says she is selfish and cant commit to someone. i dont know what will hurt more her giving us a chance and it not working out or her not even giving us a chance. i had a great time with her tonight we didnt do much we just sat and watched down and away but it was nice i held her and she held onto my are then we held hands and at the time it just felt right well to me it did im not sure what she was thinking she was upset some i guess but she siad its because her lady friend was about to come home for a week but still i dont like when she is upset it is late and well im just rambling on about stuff nobody wants to hear so i guess ill go now

p.s maria ill always love you no matter what your are one of my best freinds and i love you for that