Excalibur: Strange Advice. (with subtitles!)
[Originally posted June 8, 2005.]
As we saw in the last installment of What If... Magneto And Professor X Eloped To A Tropical Island? removed from any impertinent questions like "But, isn't he a registered terrorist" or "But, didn't he try to wipe your mind a couple times," Charles and Erik have been living in frighteningly domestic bliss. Unfortunately, the outside Marvelverse will *insist* on intruding eventually (most lately in the form of Erik's daughter loosing a few more of her marbles and killing some friends, you know how it goes), and we're quickly reminded that theirs is a relationship that has difficulty surviving exposure to things like politics, inlaws, non-mutual friends, alien abductions, alien visitations, out of body experiences, cloning debates, personal history, world history, mutual friends, past arguments, alternate future arguments, funny hats, UN council meetings, attempted homicide, successful homicide, successful suicide, ferrous metal, the colour purple, and, it wouldn't surprise me, oxygen.
Context for today's episode: Erik has, at this point, rescued Wanda from the unreasoning hordes that would prefer her to seek professional help, dealt with his 'too many clothes' problem, and asked Charles to fix her back up again. Charles, of course, tried to do the good step-parent thing and agreed.
Now, one would think this situation would end in a mega crossover event happy family bonding moments, but it seems that repairing a woman with power over reality is harder than it looks, and so we have Erik being broody and passive aggressive instead.
Charles is aware that things aren't going as smoothly as he'd like, and goes to Dr. Strange for help... putting Strange in the unenviable position of having to give advice to a friend who's back in an obviously unhealthy relationship that ended in tears, blood, and genocide the first time around.
Somehow, Strange manages to keep his thoughts on the matter to himself, but (especially considering Charles *is* the world's premier telepath here) it's certainly not for lack of trying.
Anyway, so Stephen and Charles go tramping around in Charles' psyche - where we learn that Yes, actually. Wolverine does get *everywhere*.
Stephen has some very useful ideas about therapy.
Further context: Currently, Charles is psychically connected to Wanda, Stephen, and, just because, Erik. The result is a psy-scape scenario where Charles is sent to hunt down Wanda and Erik, and I'm sure that what this says about who is as deep as it is indeterminable.
(Allow me to summarize for everyone.)
Charles: Erik is so noble.
Stephen: Ah, yes. In that specialized usage of the term as a replacement for 'bugfuck crazy.'
Charles: Maybe, but I *love* him. And he wants to change...
Stephen: I don't think he can.
Charles: Not. Listening.
Charles: Erik has a tragic past.
Stephen: I agree. But he also has problems with genocidal RAGE.
Charles: Also, Erik has trust issues. He's a tragic figure, really.
Stephen: *sigh*
Wow, an argument with very few weapons involved at all, and only both of the participants acting like sullen teenagers. The boys are growing up!
So, what have we learned then?
Stephen: Well?
Charles: All the unhealthy slash cliches you can think of. I think it's time for Erik and I to both move on.
Stephen: Good.
Charles: But...
Stephen: No! No buts!
Charles: It all comes down to love. And if Erik wants so much to be that better, ideal person, then surely the healing power of *love* can-
Stephen: He's dangerous! Unpredictable!
Charles: Then you can't predict it isn't going to end well, can you?
Stephen: *facepalm*
Stephen: Fine, I give up. Just don't come crying to me when your universe is broken into tiny shards. Again.
And how does it end? Let's jump ahead to *House of M* to find out.
Ah, not with a wimper, but with Charles and Erik hanging around in their pajamas.
One of these days, the creative minds involved in the Charles/Erik relationship are going to forget to fade to black, I swear. (In fact, depending on how traumatized I'd like to be just then, I'm occasionally convinced this *already happened*.)
As we saw in the last installment of What If... Magneto And Professor X Eloped To A Tropical Island? removed from any impertinent questions like "But, isn't he a registered terrorist" or "But, didn't he try to wipe your mind a couple times," Charles and Erik have been living in frighteningly domestic bliss. Unfortunately, the outside Marvelverse will *insist* on intruding eventually (most lately in the form of Erik's daughter loosing a few more of her marbles and killing some friends, you know how it goes), and we're quickly reminded that theirs is a relationship that has difficulty surviving exposure to things like politics, inlaws, non-mutual friends, alien abductions, alien visitations, out of body experiences, cloning debates, personal history, world history, mutual friends, past arguments, alternate future arguments, funny hats, UN council meetings, attempted homicide, successful homicide, successful suicide, ferrous metal, the colour purple, and, it wouldn't surprise me, oxygen.
Context for today's episode: Erik has, at this point, rescued Wanda from the unreasoning hordes that would prefer her to seek professional help, dealt with his 'too many clothes' problem, and asked Charles to fix her back up again. Charles, of course, tried to do the good step-parent thing and agreed.
Now, one would think this situation would end in a mega crossover event happy family bonding moments, but it seems that repairing a woman with power over reality is harder than it looks, and so we have Erik being broody and passive aggressive instead.
Charles is aware that things aren't going as smoothly as he'd like, and goes to Dr. Strange for help... putting Strange in the unenviable position of having to give advice to a friend who's back in an obviously unhealthy relationship that ended in tears, blood, and genocide the first time around.
Somehow, Strange manages to keep his thoughts on the matter to himself, but (especially considering Charles *is* the world's premier telepath here) it's certainly not for lack of trying.
Anyway, so Stephen and Charles go tramping around in Charles' psyche - where we learn that Yes, actually. Wolverine does get *everywhere*.
Stephen has some very useful ideas about therapy.
Further context: Currently, Charles is psychically connected to Wanda, Stephen, and, just because, Erik. The result is a psy-scape scenario where Charles is sent to hunt down Wanda and Erik, and I'm sure that what this says about who is as deep as it is indeterminable.
(Allow me to summarize for everyone.)
Charles: Erik is so noble.
Stephen: Ah, yes. In that specialized usage of the term as a replacement for 'bugfuck crazy.'
Charles: Maybe, but I *love* him. And he wants to change...
Stephen: I don't think he can.
Charles: Not. Listening.
Charles: Erik has a tragic past.
Stephen: I agree. But he also has problems with genocidal RAGE.
Charles: Also, Erik has trust issues. He's a tragic figure, really.
Stephen: *sigh*
Wow, an argument with very few weapons involved at all, and only both of the participants acting like sullen teenagers. The boys are growing up!
So, what have we learned then?
Stephen: Well?
Charles: All the unhealthy slash cliches you can think of. I think it's time for Erik and I to both move on.
Stephen: Good.
Charles: But...
Stephen: No! No buts!
Charles: It all comes down to love. And if Erik wants so much to be that better, ideal person, then surely the healing power of *love* can-
Stephen: He's dangerous! Unpredictable!
Charles: Then you can't predict it isn't going to end well, can you?
Stephen: *facepalm*
Stephen: Fine, I give up. Just don't come crying to me when your universe is broken into tiny shards. Again.
And how does it end? Let's jump ahead to *House of M* to find out.
Ah, not with a wimper, but with Charles and Erik hanging around in their pajamas.
One of these days, the creative minds involved in the Charles/Erik relationship are going to forget to fade to black, I swear. (In fact, depending on how traumatized I'd like to be just then, I'm occasionally convinced this *already happened*.)