‘Cuz if Marvel can do it, DC can do it five times over and almost as well! (part 1: tentacoo wape)
This solicit Monday, DC was nice enough to remix that infamous Heroes for Hentai cover for us! With... their usual display of restraint, as it happens, so we’ve got a few covers vying for the coveted award of Best Tentacle Threat!
Our contenders:
Batman Strikes #37
Why it is better than H4H: He’s strung up well enough, but his hands are in fists, he’s frowning in concentration, and he’s obviously trying to get free.
Why not to vote for it: Creepy as Ivy can be, the vines *themselves* don’t seem to be posing much of a threat to our intrepid hero, so I’m not sure it really counts as part of the genre.
Detective #836
Why it is better than H4H: Sure, he’s frightened and apparently helpless, but he’s not physically chained and there’s no threat of imminent rape.
Why it doesn’t count: I know we’re all fresh from seeing Pirates of the Caribbean 3, including, probably, Batman, but those are just *fingers* being waved menacingly in his face. Fingers have got to be lots longer than that before they can be considered properly tentacles.
Flash #323
Why it is better than H4H: He’s fighting back, his clothing is intact as far as we can see, and there are no creepy voyeurs watching from above. It isn’t nearly so sexually charged as the original.
Why it isn’t so great: WHY is there a giant vagina dentata with tentacles WHY WHY WHY
OTOH, maybe it is a cultural misunderstanding? The Flash is grimacing, baring his teeth at it. Possibly it took this ENTIRELY THE WRONG WAY?
Wonder Girl #1
Why it is better than H4H: Well, uh, do you have 5 pages? She’s in a strong, fighting stance, and the snake-tentacle things look dangerous instead of sleezy. She‘s focused, not frightened, and TOTALLY PASSES the “can be exchanged for a male character without breaking the internet” test WITH PROOF.
What’s not to like: Um... the rule that when a female character gets her own title, her boobs magically grow three cup sizes while her shirt does not? But I’m reaching a little.
Poll
*The Chinese Buffet