Parking legally is hard, my @ss.
Dear inconsiderate dermoid cysts who keep parking illegally and blocking our assigned spaces:
1. I know you're taking your children to a home-based daycare. It's not so cold that you can't walk an extra 20 feet. I care that you park DAILY in a FIRE LANE. I care that your illegal parking blocks 3-6 residents' parking spaces, including both of ours. We have left you polite notes, we have talked to you in person, we have talked to the management who called the resident providing daycare and advised them that their customers must park in the guest spaces, yet you still don't care that you're inconveniencing other people and breaking the law at the same time. I know your vehicles' makes, models and license plate numbers. I have called the police to tow you, but they're busy with more serious crimes. You need to stop parking illegally here, 'cause I'm gonna start making sure you can't move that illegally parked car until the tow truck arrives. Bet that $200 ticket will hurt your wallet, "sister". (I am not your sister. My sisters live in Colorado. Also, every time you say "di'n't" I am laughing inside at you.)
2. No, I'm not going to listen to you when I catch you coming out to your car PARKED IN OUR SPACE and start taking photographs. You are not supposed to park in spaces not assigned to you. That is why we parked your car in and left our emergency flashers on. I will listen to your sob story and have the car parking you in moved. And when you say "God bless you" after all that, I am again laughing inside, this time because I am pretty sure your God did not tell you to park illegally.
Love,
Me.
1. I know you're taking your children to a home-based daycare. It's not so cold that you can't walk an extra 20 feet. I care that you park DAILY in a FIRE LANE. I care that your illegal parking blocks 3-6 residents' parking spaces, including both of ours. We have left you polite notes, we have talked to you in person, we have talked to the management who called the resident providing daycare and advised them that their customers must park in the guest spaces, yet you still don't care that you're inconveniencing other people and breaking the law at the same time. I know your vehicles' makes, models and license plate numbers. I have called the police to tow you, but they're busy with more serious crimes. You need to stop parking illegally here, 'cause I'm gonna start making sure you can't move that illegally parked car until the tow truck arrives. Bet that $200 ticket will hurt your wallet, "sister". (I am not your sister. My sisters live in Colorado. Also, every time you say "di'n't" I am laughing inside at you.)
2. No, I'm not going to listen to you when I catch you coming out to your car PARKED IN OUR SPACE and start taking photographs. You are not supposed to park in spaces not assigned to you. That is why we parked your car in and left our emergency flashers on. I will listen to your sob story and have the car parking you in moved. And when you say "God bless you" after all that, I am again laughing inside, this time because I am pretty sure your God did not tell you to park illegally.
Love,
Me.