clusterfuck
a friend of mine was diagnosed with stage four brain & lung cancer. it's all been really sudden, and i'm in shock, and i just can't imagine...he was fine in february when i saw him. he was cracking jokes and drinking beer and happy to get snowed in because he had tv, and i'm probably never going to see him again. he just got married last summer. he's in his early 50s, and a few people have told me, "well that's pretty old" but it's not fucking old, my parents are nearly 60. you know? it's a confrontation of so much and it's so overwhelming.
this sounds so stupid in comparison, but we got a new manager at work about two months ago and he's fucking me over with hours. i'm getting two shifts a week, when i'm available all the time to work. i need this job, and i'm jobhunting & putting out applications & resumes and it's just useless. i can't even quit with dignity, because even two shifts a week is better than nothing, and it's such a bullshit situation.
i've been really wondering if moving out here was the right decision for me...i know that in a lot of ways it's been good, for me and for dahlia, but i can't help thinking "what if?" to staying in virginia and all that encompasses. but i can't think like that now, i just have to deal with my choices and make the best of it, but it's so fucking hard.
and this is all petty bullshit when i think about west, and i wish i'd spent more time with him when i was back east, and i wish things weren't like this, and i wish i had the ability to do a fucking thing about it.
this sounds so stupid in comparison, but we got a new manager at work about two months ago and he's fucking me over with hours. i'm getting two shifts a week, when i'm available all the time to work. i need this job, and i'm jobhunting & putting out applications & resumes and it's just useless. i can't even quit with dignity, because even two shifts a week is better than nothing, and it's such a bullshit situation.
i've been really wondering if moving out here was the right decision for me...i know that in a lot of ways it's been good, for me and for dahlia, but i can't help thinking "what if?" to staying in virginia and all that encompasses. but i can't think like that now, i just have to deal with my choices and make the best of it, but it's so fucking hard.
and this is all petty bullshit when i think about west, and i wish i'd spent more time with him when i was back east, and i wish things weren't like this, and i wish i had the ability to do a fucking thing about it.