I want this read at my funeral...
[I've been thinking about my own mortality as of late and how I would want to be remembered. I'm not sure why, but there it is. I've began writing my own eulogy because I'm that big a control freak and my ego apparently IS that big. So, here's what I've got so far...]
I supposed you're all wondering why I've asked you here...
First of all, let me just say this to my beloved family: If you have not dressed me in the low-cut thong leotard I specified, then I assume you have also disregarded my wishes as to having me stuffed, mounted, and posed crouched on one knee and throwing a deuce sign. Bravo! Those directions were written during a particularly festive semester in college. Instead, I hope I have been dressed in a tutu and swimming flippers and rest in stately repose in a tasteful coffin as per a later set of written directions. I hope you did not forget the fog machine...
I supposed you're all wondering why I've asked you here...
First of all, let me just say this to my beloved family: If you have not dressed me in the low-cut thong leotard I specified, then I assume you have also disregarded my wishes as to having me stuffed, mounted, and posed crouched on one knee and throwing a deuce sign. Bravo! Those directions were written during a particularly festive semester in college. Instead, I hope I have been dressed in a tutu and swimming flippers and rest in stately repose in a tasteful coffin as per a later set of written directions. I hope you did not forget the fog machine...