time for another snippet
Here's a bit from an as yet untitled Sirius/Remus story. Over a decade after the end of OoTP, Remus crosses a river and finds an old companion.
"Moony!" Sirius cried out gleefully, leaping down from his fence post to hug his friend. "What took so long? I've been waiting all morning."
"I had things to do, my friend," Remus said, hugging him back tightly as if Sirius might slip from his arms and fade away to nothing once more. He'd lost him once, and he'd never let go, he'd never let go.
But maybe it wasn't his right to hold on any longer. When Sirius shifted in his embrace, Remus loosened his arms, prepared to let them drop to his side once more. Then Sirius pressed closer and brought there lips together, kissing with ardor and passion such as Remus hadn't felt in nearly two decades. He wasn't quite comfortable with it, and he was uncertain as to what it meant, but he kissed back anyway. He had to. It was rain in the desert and fire in the depth of winter. He'd never let go, he'd never let go…
He let go. He pushed Sirius away. He hated himself for it, and it was the worst sort of masochism and the only way of preserving his sanity, but he pushed Sirius away.
"What?" asked Sirius, confusion blatant on his face.
"I'm sorry," Remus apologized. The words were far too little, far too meaningless to fill the gaping void between them. "I'm sorry. It's just too soon."
"Too soon?"
"I mean, it's been too long."
Sirius still looked confused. "It hasn't been that long."
Remus sighed a great sigh, trying to regain control of his breath. He could hear birds singing from above, and the light flickering through shifting leaves made everything appear unstable and unformed, as if it could all come apart in an instant.
"We haven't even done this properly," he said, trying to find solidity in small talk and order in manners. He felt as if he was newly changed, newly bitten, as he hadn't since he was a child. He no longer quite understood what nature of beast he might be, but he had to try. "How are you?"
"Just peachy," said Sirius. "Better when we were snogging. How are you?"
"I've been better, I have to admit," Remus said with a small laugh, wincing when disappointment flickered across the face in front of him. "Harry was doing brilliantly when I left though. He's expecting a baby now, or rather Luna is. I guess you wouldn't have met her though… " He trailed off at Sirius's look of confusion, but it wasn't Luna who Sirius asked about.
"Harry?" Sirius asked.
"Yes," Remus replied. "Your godson."
Maybe there were demons in this place after all. Maybe he'd found one. He felt something akin to claws wrap around his heart, and he wanted to tear them out, to run from this creature who didn't know what Sirius should know.
"But he's just a ba-" Sirius stopped suddenly, tipping his head to the side. "I see," he said at last. He's doing well then?"
"Yes."
"That's good."
"You remember him, don't you?" Remus asked, feeling the claws tighten.
"Of course I do," Sirius said gently. "I'm his godfather, aren't I? We got drunk with James soon after he was born, and we pledged to stand by him always, to see him grow tall and strong."
"Moony!" Sirius cried out gleefully, leaping down from his fence post to hug his friend. "What took so long? I've been waiting all morning."
"I had things to do, my friend," Remus said, hugging him back tightly as if Sirius might slip from his arms and fade away to nothing once more. He'd lost him once, and he'd never let go, he'd never let go.
But maybe it wasn't his right to hold on any longer. When Sirius shifted in his embrace, Remus loosened his arms, prepared to let them drop to his side once more. Then Sirius pressed closer and brought there lips together, kissing with ardor and passion such as Remus hadn't felt in nearly two decades. He wasn't quite comfortable with it, and he was uncertain as to what it meant, but he kissed back anyway. He had to. It was rain in the desert and fire in the depth of winter. He'd never let go, he'd never let go…
He let go. He pushed Sirius away. He hated himself for it, and it was the worst sort of masochism and the only way of preserving his sanity, but he pushed Sirius away.
"What?" asked Sirius, confusion blatant on his face.
"I'm sorry," Remus apologized. The words were far too little, far too meaningless to fill the gaping void between them. "I'm sorry. It's just too soon."
"Too soon?"
"I mean, it's been too long."
Sirius still looked confused. "It hasn't been that long."
Remus sighed a great sigh, trying to regain control of his breath. He could hear birds singing from above, and the light flickering through shifting leaves made everything appear unstable and unformed, as if it could all come apart in an instant.
"We haven't even done this properly," he said, trying to find solidity in small talk and order in manners. He felt as if he was newly changed, newly bitten, as he hadn't since he was a child. He no longer quite understood what nature of beast he might be, but he had to try. "How are you?"
"Just peachy," said Sirius. "Better when we were snogging. How are you?"
"I've been better, I have to admit," Remus said with a small laugh, wincing when disappointment flickered across the face in front of him. "Harry was doing brilliantly when I left though. He's expecting a baby now, or rather Luna is. I guess you wouldn't have met her though… " He trailed off at Sirius's look of confusion, but it wasn't Luna who Sirius asked about.
"Harry?" Sirius asked.
"Yes," Remus replied. "Your godson."
Maybe there were demons in this place after all. Maybe he'd found one. He felt something akin to claws wrap around his heart, and he wanted to tear them out, to run from this creature who didn't know what Sirius should know.
"But he's just a ba-" Sirius stopped suddenly, tipping his head to the side. "I see," he said at last. He's doing well then?"
"Yes."
"That's good."
"You remember him, don't you?" Remus asked, feeling the claws tighten.
"Of course I do," Sirius said gently. "I'm his godfather, aren't I? We got drunk with James soon after he was born, and we pledged to stand by him always, to see him grow tall and strong."