Scenes from a Baby's Life, Part 1
Setting: My house, 2am. This night, I had already gotten up to nurse Lucas and put him back to sleep from 12:30-1:00am. Lucas's lines have been translated from his native Gobbledygook.
Lucas: Hey! Hey! Mom! Dad! Hey! There's a party in my crib, and everyone is invited!
Silence.
Lucas: I only know you guys, so you're everyone! So you're invited to my party! Hey! Mom! Come here! Comeherecomeherecomeherecomeherecome--
Me: Hi Lucas. Why are you awake?
Lucas: Mom! So awesome to see you here at my crib party. Check out these awesome high kicks!
Me: Shhh, shhh. Go back to sleep.
Lucas: Dance party, Mom! Pick me up for a dance party! Mom! Mom! Hey! Every party has a pooper, Mom!
I go to sit in the rocking chair to wait him out.
Lucas: Look Mom, watch me roll around! Mom! I'm on my tummy now, Mom! Hey! It's so awesome! Mom, what about that dance party? Pick me up! Pick. Me. Up. Now.
Me: Shhhh, shhhh. (Leaves Room)
Lucas: Party in my crib, party in my crib. Banging on my bars, talking at my wall. Hey! Mom! Where did you go, Mom? Hey! Come back! Comebackcomebackcomebackcomeback--
Me: Lucas, it's night time. Go to sleep.
Lucas: Never! I will party all night forever. Watch my awesome high kicks again! Look how I can eat my foot, Mom, look!
Me: (Rubs Lucas's back, starts to sing.)
Lucas: No, Mom, no! You knock that off. I am Not Sleepy! No lullaby Jedi mind tricks, Mom! Party forever, sleepytime never! You're such a downer, Mom! You're so gleebergoodlespdhshhhhhhhhzzzzzzzz...No! I won't do it! I won't do iiiizzzzzzzz...
Silence. End Scene.
Lucas: Hey! Hey! Mom! Dad! Hey! There's a party in my crib, and everyone is invited!
Silence.
Lucas: I only know you guys, so you're everyone! So you're invited to my party! Hey! Mom! Come here! Comeherecomeherecomeherecomeherecome--
Me: Hi Lucas. Why are you awake?
Lucas: Mom! So awesome to see you here at my crib party. Check out these awesome high kicks!
Me: Shhh, shhh. Go back to sleep.
Lucas: Dance party, Mom! Pick me up for a dance party! Mom! Mom! Hey! Every party has a pooper, Mom!
I go to sit in the rocking chair to wait him out.
Lucas: Look Mom, watch me roll around! Mom! I'm on my tummy now, Mom! Hey! It's so awesome! Mom, what about that dance party? Pick me up! Pick. Me. Up. Now.
Me: Shhhh, shhhh. (Leaves Room)
Lucas: Party in my crib, party in my crib. Banging on my bars, talking at my wall. Hey! Mom! Where did you go, Mom? Hey! Come back! Comebackcomebackcomebackcomeback--
Me: Lucas, it's night time. Go to sleep.
Lucas: Never! I will party all night forever. Watch my awesome high kicks again! Look how I can eat my foot, Mom, look!
Me: (Rubs Lucas's back, starts to sing.)
Lucas: No, Mom, no! You knock that off. I am Not Sleepy! No lullaby Jedi mind tricks, Mom! Party forever, sleepytime never! You're such a downer, Mom! You're so gleebergoodlespdhshhhhhhhhzzzzzzzz...No! I won't do it! I won't do iiiizzzzzzzz...
Silence. End Scene.