12-28-bordom03
I've been reading a book lately that makes everything seem pretty fucking insignificant. I'm only half way through, but it's a lot about death and the purposes of living and whether or not it's really worth doing everything we do. Because what it all comes down to is how many people knew you and what they thought of you.
And then I sit in my house all day, I have a lot of friends, but for some reason I never hear from them at all, not even when they're not busy, like right now when school's out. Makes me wonder what the fuck is the point sometimes. But then I remember that we have to be selfish as well, and that's just what they're doing, so I might as well also. I've done it before. I can try it again.
I'm thinking about never shaving again. My brother hasn't shaved his face smooth in over 8 years, and no one ever complains. Not that he never cuts his beard off, but be just never ever uses a razor. Too much trouble, too much time.
It'd be nice to have no responcibilites, but for art. Live/be with someone who could support me, and I could only support my love for photography. I know I could do wonderful things if I only had the time, rather, lacked the things I don't like to do. These things entail; reporting to my parents all the time, finding food, sleeping, getting to know people to further my advantages in the world, having to figure out why people hate/love/bore/run from me.
I want a life that keeps me fufilled instead of having to fufill everyone elses lives. Modernity fucking blows when you think about all the crap we have to do in order to do what we think is what we want. I imagine just how wonderful it must have been to live 2,500 years ago when all that was important was eating and loving your family.
I guess I just want pure simplicity. Yeah, that'll never happen.
And then I sit in my house all day, I have a lot of friends, but for some reason I never hear from them at all, not even when they're not busy, like right now when school's out. Makes me wonder what the fuck is the point sometimes. But then I remember that we have to be selfish as well, and that's just what they're doing, so I might as well also. I've done it before. I can try it again.
I'm thinking about never shaving again. My brother hasn't shaved his face smooth in over 8 years, and no one ever complains. Not that he never cuts his beard off, but be just never ever uses a razor. Too much trouble, too much time.
It'd be nice to have no responcibilites, but for art. Live/be with someone who could support me, and I could only support my love for photography. I know I could do wonderful things if I only had the time, rather, lacked the things I don't like to do. These things entail; reporting to my parents all the time, finding food, sleeping, getting to know people to further my advantages in the world, having to figure out why people hate/love/bore/run from me.
I want a life that keeps me fufilled instead of having to fufill everyone elses lives. Modernity fucking blows when you think about all the crap we have to do in order to do what we think is what we want. I imagine just how wonderful it must have been to live 2,500 years ago when all that was important was eating and loving your family.
I guess I just want pure simplicity. Yeah, that'll never happen.