sometimes....
I get scared. I get weak. I get insecure. I think crazy thoughts. I think the world is against me. I cry. Alot. I hide my feelings. I hide my thoughts deep in my mind. I hide. I hide myself from others. I hide myself from myself. I worry. I want to give up. I want to run away. I think that I fuck everything up. I think that I am not good enough. I think that I am not good enough for anyone, or anything. I think about my past. I get mad about things in my past. I get deffensive. I put up my guard. I put up my guard when it's not needed. I am misunderstood. No one understands. I don't take my own advice. I don't practice what i preach. i get lost in my mind. I don't think I'm strong enough. I push the people who care the most away from me. I don't appriciate the person that stares back at me in the mirror. I don't know who I am anymore. I want to be loved. I want to be free from the thoughts that posses my mind. I want to accept the person that I am. I don't try hard enough. I don't try hard enough, eben when I say I give it my all. I can't get over things. I can't let things go. I get mad when people expect me to be soo strong. I get when people expect me to be strong, because I'm not. I get mad when people think I'm secure, or even concieted. I get mad when people don't see the beauty in themselves.
I need.......
To change. To love myself. to accept who I am. To accept what has happened to me. To know that it will never change. To know that things aren't that bad. To know people care. To accept people caring. To know I am beautiful. To know I am beautiful INSIDE. To take better care of myself. To escape from my mind. To not run away. To not be afraid. To stand up to my fears. To know that my parents made mistake. To know they know that. To know that they love me. To know that they are hurt that I am not a part of their life. To be n their lives more. To reach oput to my friends when I need help. To not lock everything up. To not get mad at people when they do something that triggers a thought of my past. To know that they are not those people, they are not intentionally hurting me. In fact, they don't even know.
I will....
Be secure. Love the people in my life who are so special to me. Love the people who love. Know that I am respected. Know that I am great. Get over this. Not lose the greatest man that has ever been i my life. Listen to him more. Here what he really has to say. Change.
I need.......
To change. To love myself. to accept who I am. To accept what has happened to me. To know that it will never change. To know that things aren't that bad. To know people care. To accept people caring. To know I am beautiful. To know I am beautiful INSIDE. To take better care of myself. To escape from my mind. To not run away. To not be afraid. To stand up to my fears. To know that my parents made mistake. To know they know that. To know that they love me. To know that they are hurt that I am not a part of their life. To be n their lives more. To reach oput to my friends when I need help. To not lock everything up. To not get mad at people when they do something that triggers a thought of my past. To know that they are not those people, they are not intentionally hurting me. In fact, they don't even know.
I will....
Be secure. Love the people in my life who are so special to me. Love the people who love. Know that I am respected. Know that I am great. Get over this. Not lose the greatest man that has ever been i my life. Listen to him more. Here what he really has to say. Change.