AN INTERVIEW WITH A FAMOUS PERSON
I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT ANY COOL STORIES TO TELL ABOUT STUFF THAT HAD ALREADY HAPPENED TO ME THIS WEEK, SO I FIGURED THE BEST THING TO DO WOULD BE TO GO BACK IN TIME AND INTERVIEW MR. CHEKHOV AND TALK TO HIM ABOUT GUNS.
I USED MY WIZARD POWERS TO TRANSLATE FROM RUSSIAN TO ENGLISH AND BACK AGAIN SO THAT WE COULD TALK TO EACH OTHER.
SISSYFACEBELLE BROUGHT ALONG A TAPE RECORDER SO THAT I COULD TELL YOU EXACTLY ALL OF THE THINGS THAT MR. CHEKHOV SAID TO ME. OUR CONVERSATION IS AS FOLLOWS.
THE TIME-TRAVELING FOR REALSIES ADVENTURES OF OCTAVIAN THE T-REX
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THE TIME I TALKED TO ANTON CHEKHOV
ME: HELLO MR. CHEKHOV IT IS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
MR. CHEKHOV: Holy- please don't kill me! What are you? Please, I have things I need to do today, I really can't afford to die.
ME: IT IS OKAY SIR I AM NOT GOING TO EAT YOU, I AM FROM THE FUTURE, I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT GUNS.
MR. CHEKHOV: Guns! I don't have any guns, I don't mean you any harm, please-
ME: MR. CHEKHOV, IT'D BE SUPER COOL IF YOU COULD CALM DOWN. I'M A NICE DUDE, I PROMISE. I'M A TIME TRAVELING T-REX AND I'VE COME FROM THE FUTURE TO TALK TO YOU.
MR. CHEKHOV: Are you a demon?
ME: NO I TOTALLY JUST SAID I AM A TIME TRAVELING T-REX. I DID NOT MENTION DEMONS AT ALL.
MR. CHEKHOV: Listen, I don't have a lot of money, but it's all yours if you just leave me alone.
ME: IT'S OKAY I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY, I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GUN?
MR. CHEKHOV: *sighs heavily* Um, I don't know too much about guns, to be honest with you. I don't really care for them.
ME: BUT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT THING ABOUT A GUN, THEN?
MR. CHEKHOV: What thing about a gun? What are you talking about?
ME: YOU WERE ALL BLAH BLAH BLAH SOMETHING ABOUT GUNS AND WRITING GOOD STORIES.
MR. CHEKHOV: I don't remember saying anything about guns. Listen, I really do need to be going, I have important things to take care of-
ME: MR. CHEKHOV, YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A GUN AND IT BECAME SUPER POPULAR IN THE FUTURE, YOU REALLY DON'T REMEMBER SAYING IT?
MR. CHEKHOV: Look, guns are dangerous, I try to avoid them if I can. Is there anything else you need to know?
ME: YES, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
MR. CHEKHOV: Uh, vanilla, I suppose.
ME: THAT'S REALLY BORING BUT OKAY. THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO TALK TO ME. NOW I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN TIME SO THAT YOU WILL FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED.
MR. CHEKHOV: So I'm free to go now?
ME: YES, JUST TRY NOT TO BE SO FORGETFUL ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS YOU SAY FROM NOW ON.
MR. CHEKHOV: Okay. Well - thank you?
ME: YOU'RE WELCOME MR. CHEKHOV.
ANYWAY THAT'S ALL WE HAVE RECORDED, HE WAS KIND OF DIFFICULT TO TALK TO BECAUSE HE KEPT WANTING TO RUN AWAY BUT THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT FOR THIS WEEK, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING, YOU ARE ALL VERY NICE PEOPLE.
I USED MY WIZARD POWERS TO TRANSLATE FROM RUSSIAN TO ENGLISH AND BACK AGAIN SO THAT WE COULD TALK TO EACH OTHER.
SISSYFACEBELLE BROUGHT ALONG A TAPE RECORDER SO THAT I COULD TELL YOU EXACTLY ALL OF THE THINGS THAT MR. CHEKHOV SAID TO ME. OUR CONVERSATION IS AS FOLLOWS.
THE TIME-TRAVELING FOR REALSIES ADVENTURES OF OCTAVIAN THE T-REX
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THE TIME I TALKED TO ANTON CHEKHOV
ME: HELLO MR. CHEKHOV IT IS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
MR. CHEKHOV: Holy- please don't kill me! What are you? Please, I have things I need to do today, I really can't afford to die.
ME: IT IS OKAY SIR I AM NOT GOING TO EAT YOU, I AM FROM THE FUTURE, I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT GUNS.
MR. CHEKHOV: Guns! I don't have any guns, I don't mean you any harm, please-
ME: MR. CHEKHOV, IT'D BE SUPER COOL IF YOU COULD CALM DOWN. I'M A NICE DUDE, I PROMISE. I'M A TIME TRAVELING T-REX AND I'VE COME FROM THE FUTURE TO TALK TO YOU.
MR. CHEKHOV: Are you a demon?
ME: NO I TOTALLY JUST SAID I AM A TIME TRAVELING T-REX. I DID NOT MENTION DEMONS AT ALL.
MR. CHEKHOV: Listen, I don't have a lot of money, but it's all yours if you just leave me alone.
ME: IT'S OKAY I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY, I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GUN?
MR. CHEKHOV: *sighs heavily* Um, I don't know too much about guns, to be honest with you. I don't really care for them.
ME: BUT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT THING ABOUT A GUN, THEN?
MR. CHEKHOV: What thing about a gun? What are you talking about?
ME: YOU WERE ALL BLAH BLAH BLAH SOMETHING ABOUT GUNS AND WRITING GOOD STORIES.
MR. CHEKHOV: I don't remember saying anything about guns. Listen, I really do need to be going, I have important things to take care of-
ME: MR. CHEKHOV, YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A GUN AND IT BECAME SUPER POPULAR IN THE FUTURE, YOU REALLY DON'T REMEMBER SAYING IT?
MR. CHEKHOV: Look, guns are dangerous, I try to avoid them if I can. Is there anything else you need to know?
ME: YES, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
MR. CHEKHOV: Uh, vanilla, I suppose.
ME: THAT'S REALLY BORING BUT OKAY. THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO TALK TO ME. NOW I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN TIME SO THAT YOU WILL FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED.
MR. CHEKHOV: So I'm free to go now?
ME: YES, JUST TRY NOT TO BE SO FORGETFUL ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS YOU SAY FROM NOW ON.
MR. CHEKHOV: Okay. Well - thank you?
ME: YOU'RE WELCOME MR. CHEKHOV.
ANYWAY THAT'S ALL WE HAVE RECORDED, HE WAS KIND OF DIFFICULT TO TALK TO BECAUSE HE KEPT WANTING TO RUN AWAY BUT THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT FOR THIS WEEK, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING, YOU ARE ALL VERY NICE PEOPLE.