Sins of the Father: Part 3
Title: Sins of the Father
Author: ocelot_l
Written for the TGWTG Big Bang
Summary: Fighting villains. Protecting the world. Gambling with fate. This has been Linkara’s life for as long as he can remember, and in all that time, he’s never questioned why he’s been dealt the role of hero. Now, it’s time for Linkara to learn the truth.
The truth about why he’s always felt the need to save those around him, even if it meant risking his life. The truth about the dreams that have started to haunt his mind and confuse his senses. The truth about the little girl whose soul possesses his Magic Gun, and the connection they share.
Based on this prompt from the kink meme
Rating: R for Language, Violence, and Disturbing Themes
Warnings: Language, Disturbing Themes, Blood, Violence, Violence Toward a Child, Child Death, Suicide Attempt
Pairing: Linkara/Spoony
The sun was starting to set when Insano returned with his modified helmet. He also pushed a wheeled cart with two large monitors upon it into the room. Linksano went to his side and assisted him in his pushing, earning himself an appreciative nod from Insano.
“What’re those things, dude?” 90s Kid asked, peering at the dark screens curiously.
“They are to make sure everything proceeds smoothly,” Insano explained as they pushed the cart beside the couch. “After the subject puts on the device-er, I mean Linkara puts on the helmet.” He paused to glance at Harvey, hoping his mistake hadn’t angered the singer, and continued only when Harvey rolled his eyes and nodded. “Yes, so, when he puts on the helmet, we wait until he’s fallen into a sound sleep. I will monitor his blood pressure, respiratory rate, and heart rate while he rests and, using this latest of my many brilliant inventions, I will also determine if Linkara has indeed lived a life before this one!”
“Sleep?” Linkara spoke for the first time in hours in a voice tinged with fear. He was clutching Bear to his chest now with hands that started to shake. “I don’t want to sleep, Spoony.” He looked so frightened that Spoony couldn’t help pulling him closer. “I don’t want to s-see it again. I can’t.”
“But you said you wanted to know the truth!” Insano whined, reminiscent of a cranky two-year- old. “I can’t discover what the truth is unless I use my invention, and I can’t use it unless you sleep! So sleep you must! Do it not just for yourself, but for SCIENCE!”
“Cool it, doc,” Harvey said, ready to step in again. Insano twitched but refused to back down.
“You want to help him, don’t you? This is the only way! You must convince him to participate!” Harvey’s eyes narrowed.
“Oh, I must, must I?” Insano paled and felt his knees knock together, but Linkara stopped Harvey from further action with a sigh of resignation.
“If this… if sleep is the only way to fix it…” Linkara somehow managed to remove his hat and offered it to Spoony.
“Excellent!” Insano cackled as he rushed to give him the helmet. “Now put this on and lie back.” Spoony stood up and watched Linkara settle into a horizontal position on the couch, Bear tucked neatly under his chin.
“I won’t leave,” he promised.
“Neither will we,” Harvey added. Linkara didn’t respond but to slip off his glasses and slip them into the inner pocket of his jacket. He felt the barrel of his Magic Gun as he did and stroked its worn wooden handle a few times. Then he closed his eyes and tried to empty his mind of all thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~
“So, like, how does this work?” 90s Kid peered from the helmet resting atop Linkara’s head to the beeping monitor to which it was attached.
“It appears this helmet monitors his vital signs while Linkara sleeps,” Pollo surmised after studying Insano’s actions for some time.
“It truly is a remarkable device,” Linksano said with a giddy grin. “Only a mind of the highest caliber could invent a machine to control the tempestuous reveries known as dreams.”
“That’s still to be determined,” Spoony muttered. Even though this had been his idea, he still didn’t completely trust Insano and made sure to keep a close eye on him as he worked. Harvey had similar feelings, evidenced by his propensity for pacing around Insano and the monitors every few minutes.
“What’s with this?” Harvey asked, pointing to the still dark second monitor. Insano’s disturbingly giddy smile returned.
“When the time is right, it will display the proof I need to convince the world that I’m correct about reincarnation, just like I was correct about the suicide squirrels!”
Boffo and Ninja Style Dancer, who’d been playing with Oreo on the floor nearby, shared unsettled glances.
~~~~~~~~~~
Linkara could still hear them talking even as he drifted off to sleep. It was as if half of his mind was clinging to reality and trying to pull him back to it, while the other half slowly descended into a pool of darkness he never wanted to enter again, submerging him completely. Linkara couldn’t fight it for long, he was just too exhausted, so he loosened his grip and allowed himself to sink deeper.
~~~~~~~~~~
The others were startled when the second monitor attached to Linkara suddenly switched on. He’d only been asleep for around fifteen minutes now and his vital signs seemed stable.
“What’s this all about?” Harvey asked, shooting Insano an accusatory glare. Instead of being afraid, Insano looked thrilled.
“It’s turned on-that means it’s working! The memories are being accessed!”
A series of images started to flash upon the screen, passing by so quickly they appeared as only a blur of colors and faces. The group stared at them in perplexion before turning back to Insano.
“Those are Linkara’s memories?” Spoony asked.
“How are we supposed to believe that?” Harvey added.
“Just give it a moment,” Insano insisted as he fiddled with a few dials on the side of the monitor.
Sure enough, within seconds the images started to slow down enough that they could be identified.
Standing inside Comicron-1. A classroom full of rowdy kids. A birthday cake with five candles. Harvey singing up on stage. Mechakara charging straight ahead. 90s Kid and Ninja Style Dancer playing Dance Dance Revolution. Trying to sing a song while dressed as King Arthur. A store filled with wall-to-wall comics. A man and woman smiling down from the side of a crib. Lord Vyce grabbing him by the neck of his shirt. Sitting in a darkened room reading comics by flashlight. Charging into Molossia with the other producers. Playing with a deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Everyone reappearing after the Entity’s defeat. Spoony smiling that smile he reserved for only one person before he leaned in close.
“Shit. These really are Linkara’s memories,” Spoony whispered. A part of him felt guilty over seeing such private images, but worry, and the slightest bit of curiosity, quickly washed that away. If this was what it took to help Linkara, then he’d do it and figure out a way to apologize later.
Harvey also seemed uncomfortable, since he reached for his cigarettes five times in five minutes. “How is this even possible? How can a gizmo like this show us the pictures in the kid’s mind?”
“It’s actually not that complicated a process,” Insano piped up. “By stimulating electrical impulses inside his deoxyribonucleic acid, or DNA for you simpletons, the memories are triggered by-”
“Dudes, look!” 90s Kid pointed to the screen as it began to flicker before falling dark once again. “It’s, like, broken.”
“Not it isn’t!” Insano snapped, obviously annoyed at having been interrupted. “This just means the most recent memories have all been accessed, and now the device is searching for the older memories. The memoires of a different time… of a different life. They have been imprinted inside every cell in Linkara’s body and now they will be revealed to us.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Linkara was drowning. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. All he could do was watch the images wind twisted paths around his body, while he plummeted deeper into the dark. He watched as Harvey and Pollo, 90s Kid and Ninja Style Dancer, Critic and all his friends, Spoony, his family, everyone he’d ever held dear flickered brightly for a moment before vanishing. Everything was vanishing. There was only nothingness.
Nothingness and a pair of ink-black eyes staring into his sadly, desperately, pleading with him not to fall any further.
~~~~~~~~~~
No one noticed as the beeping of Linkara’s heart monitor slowed ever so slightly, nor did they spy the strange glow coming from the inner pocket of his jacket. They were too entranced by what was now flashing across the screen.
Unfamiliar landmarks, buildings, and people now took center stage. The world was darker now, and simpler, filled with farmlands and people dressed in old-fashioned clothing and the yellowed pages of ancient books bearing undecipherable writings and symbols. Amidst the confusion were similar scenes that kept reappearing, where crowds of people bowed before an altar and chanted reverently. Each of these scenes was followed by a particular symbol drawn in red and surrounded by flames.
“What is this? What does it mean?” The newer and younger members of the team turned to Harvey and Pollo, hoping they’d have the answers they all craved.
“It means it’s working!” Insano never sounded as gleeful as he did when caressing the monitor with his long, pale fingers. “It means I’ve achieved the impossible and tapped into the memories stored in a soul from its previous lifetime! No one will be able to question my genius ever again!”
Spoony shot him a warning look before turning his eyes back to the screen. It really was fascinating to see these scenes of a bygone era play out before him. Almost like watching a movie without sound.
Spoony hated himself for thinking like that. He knew he shouldn’t be so interested in what they all saw, especially since these very scenes were hurting Linkara so much, but he couldn’t help it. Spoony loved a good puzzle as much as anyone and he wanted to see how these scenes fit together into a coherent narrative. What story were they trying to tell?
~~~~~~~~~~
Linkara tried to avert his eyes. He didn’t want to see it. He couldn’t bear to witness the events of this life again. The life that once was his.
But it wasn’t his choice. His eyes were forced open and he watched it all.
Watched himself study the sacred texts every true believer knew by heart.
Watched himself attend the meetings, praying to a god that was unknown to most, but terrifying to all.
Watched himself meet the dour young woman who would become his wife.
Watched as the bump in her stomach grew larger while her frown grew more pronounced.
Watched himself soothe her that it wouldn’t be for long, that in the end it would be worth it.
Watched the baby who loved life and her parents more than anything grow before his eyes into a beautiful young girl.
She was so innocent. So trusting. She walked into the garage obediently that night, her last on Earth.
She cried when she saw the knife. She fell to her knees and sobbed, asking why this was happening, what she’d done wrong, how could she fix it?
How could she have known that her whole reason for existing was for precisely this moment?
He watched his wife prepare the altar and the flames burn around him while his hands dripped with her blood.
He stared down at his hands and opened them to gaze upon the weapon he’d sacrificed everything for. It was so beautiful, even as it started to burn the skin away from his hands and burn the nightmarish scenes, which could only be scenes of Hell itself, into his mind. His wife screamed and tried to pull it away, but the second it made contact with her skin, the weapon burned her too.
He saw her eyes again, her dark eyes filled only with betrayal and pain.
“Why, Papa? I thought you loved me… did you and Mama ever love me? It hurts so much… I can’t find Heaven, Papa… it hurts… it hurts…”
~~~~~~~~~~
Even without sound, the images were enough. No one moved after witnessing the tragedy unfold before their eyes.
Then 90s Kid’s legs buckled and he collapsed into a chair.
“D-dude… that… that was… sick…” He sniffled and removed his sunglasses to swipe at his eyes.
Beside him, Ninja Style Dancer and Boffo hugged each other tightly, in a desperate bid for comfort.
Insano was also crying as he clung onto Linksano for support. “How… how could any parent do that to their child? How could he… how…”
Harvey had his head in his hands. He couldn’t respond to anything at the moment, not after witnessing that.
Spoony felt nauseous. He wanted to run out of the room, empty his stomach, and then find some way to empty his mind of that disgusting, vile, horrible, sickening movie.
Except it wasn’t a movie. It had really happened once upon a time, and it happened because of-
“Linkara!” Pollo quickly hovered over to Linkara’s side. “What’s wrong, Linkara?”
At that moment, they realized that Linkara’s heart monitor had flat-lined and his breathing had stopped.
~~~~~~~~~~
Linkara didn’t want to open his eyes ever again. He didn’t deserve to see light or beauty any longer. He deserved only the darkness, and gladly let it swallow him whole.
Maybe next time he’d do better. Maybe next time he could make up for everything he’d done.
No, that was impossible. Nothing could make up for his actions. Nothing could make him forgive himself. There would be no next time. There would only be nothingness, what he deserved most.
Then a warm hand clutched at his and tried to pull him back up. Linkara moaned, yearning to return to nothingness, but the hand continued to tug him up. He opened his eyes and found her staring down at him. She looked exactly the same, from her hair to her clothes, except for her eyes. They shone with fear.
“Where are you going? Why are you using my magic to go away? I don’t want you to go away, partner.”
Linkara blanched and tried to yank his hand away.
“I’m not your partner! I’m nothing! I’m filth! I’m scum!”
Her eyes filled with tears.
“Why are you saying that, partner?”
Linkara’s pain transformed into rage.
“How can you even ask me that?” he screamed at her. “You know who I am! What I am! You know what I did to you, so why?! Why are you even talking to me?!”
She shuddered a little but her grip remained firm.
“B-because you’re my p-partner-” Linkara saw red.
“I’m your murderer! I killed you! I sacrificed you to make a gun!”
“No!” she screamed back, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. “No! You didn’t do that! Papa did, and you’re not Papa! You wouldn’t hurt me!”
Papa. That word, so innocent and achingly familiar, was like a stab inside the deepest part of Linkara. The memories rose up, washing completely over him, and he wanted nothing more than to drown.
“I’m a monster.” Linkara deflated, voice going flat, body going limp. The girl shook her head again.
“You’re a hero.”
“I’ve hurt and killed someone so innocent.”
“You’ve saved lives. Many, many lives.”
“My own… child…”
“I’m not! I’m your partner!”
“I don’t deserve to live.” Linkara’s body sagged, wanting to sink lower. “I don’t deserve to see anyone I love again, least of all you. Please…” His voice grew weak and soft. “Please let me die.”
The hand holding his disappeared and Linkara felt relief as he began falling again. Then he gasped as thin arms surrounded him and hugged him so tightly he felt like he might explode, before a small face buried itself in his chest.
“Please don’t leave me,” she sobbed, clinging so tightly to Linkara it hurt. “Please stay with me. I don’t want to be alone… I can’t be alone anymore… you’re not bad, partner… you’re a hero, you’ve saved people… me and you saved them all together… please remember... you’re Linkara… remember that… remember us…”
She touched his forehead and stared at him with the melancholy expression of one who’s lived for far too long. Her eyes shimmered with tears like newly stirred pools of ink but she refused to blink. Linkara watched as a new set of memories started to swirl through the void surrounding them.
He watched as he saved his friends and family countless times, as he risked his life for complete strangers, as he defended the Earth from those who would wish it harm. Every villain he’d ever fought passed before him before disappearing in a flash of golden light.
He watched as he held his Magic Gun high and smiled, knowing he could protect countless people thanks to its power. As he lifted the weapon, another, smaller hand pressed on top of his.
Then the images were gone. Linkara blinked several times before looking back at her. He watched the tears continue to silently flow down her cheeks without speaking. If she of all people didn’t hate him, then maybe… then maybe he could go back.
Linkara didn’t know. He didn’t know what was the right thing to do, or if he could ever be truly forgiven for everything that had transpired. All he knew at that moment was that he couldn’t bear to see her crying.
“I’m… I’m so sorry.” Linkara’s voice quavered as he reached up to brush a few of her tears away. “I’m so sorry for hurting you then… and for hurting you now. I never want to hurt you again. I would do anything to make up for the horrible things that happened. I always thought I wanted to be a hero for myself… but now I know that I want to do it for you… and for everyone I’ve ever cared about. So if you still want me for a partner, then… I promise I won’t leave you again.”
Her smile was heart-breaking, just like everything else about her.
“I’ll always choose you for my partner.”
She hugged him again, even tighter than before, but it didn’t hurt this time. Linkara wrapped his arms around her frail body, holding her as close as he could, and slowly began the long journey up.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Come on, kid, you’re stronger than this. I know you’re stronger than this! You can’t give up now, not yet!”
“Linkara, please! You have to wake up! Linkara, please wake up!”
Linkara had stopped breathing for almost a minute, and Harvey and Spoony refused to leave his side. The former kept pounding upon Linkara’s chest in a valiant if misguided attempt to resuscitate him, while the latter wouldn’t stop stroking and patting his cheeks, straining to hear even a faint breath that would signal Linkara’s return to him.
The others watched from a close distance, huddled together, gripping hands and holding breaths as they willed their leader back to them. Without Linkara they were lost, many homeless, and certainly afraid of what the future held for them without their fearless hero. So focused were they that they didn’t even flinch when Insano approached the couch, a giant syringe in his hand.
“You must give me space,” Insano tried to command. “I need to inject this into his heart right now or else we won’t have a chance of reviving him!”
Only Harvey heard him, and he shot Insano a look of pure loathing as he fought an internal battle. It was won instantly, as Harvey turned the loathing on himself.
“Damn it. Can’t believe I’m this weak.” Harvey sighed before reluctantly pulling back and nodding to Spoony. “Come on. We have no choice now.”
Spoony gave a feeble, inaudible answer and slowly sat up, but paused when he noticed the bright light coming from under Linkara’s jacket.
“What the hell?”
Before he could even think to investigate, a loud beeping caught his and everyone’s attention.
“Look! The TVs are doing stuff again!” 90s Kid pointed out excitedly. They held their breaths upon realizing that Linkara’s heartbeat had returned, and exhaled in joy when they saw that he’d started to breathe again as well.
“Wait, what’s with the other one?” Harvey pointed at the second monitor, which had also flickered back to life.
Spoony felt his earlier wave of nausea return. “It’s showing more memories.” He had no desire to witness anything like what he’d seen before, and he knew he wasn’t the only one. However, the images were different this time.
“We’re seeing Linkara’s memories again,” Pollo noted.
They all watched as Linkara defeated Mechakara, Lord Vyce, the Entity, stopped the power-hungry Critic from blowing up a micro-nation, shot at Malachite with his Magic Gun, stopped bank robbers, saved a boy from being hit a car, and committed too many heroic acts to count.
90s Kid looked anxiously at the others. “What does it mean?”
“It means the kid’s still got some fight left in him,” Harvey replied, an almost unnoticeable tremor in his voice.
Linkara’s groans immediately drew their attention and they all rushed to surround the couch, watching as he slowly opened his eyes and peered up blankly.
“Linkara.”
“Linkara dude!”
“I knew you could do it, kid.”
Linkara’s eyes focused on the smiling faces staring down at him before he locked gazes with Spoony.
“Spoony… everyone… you’re here. I’m glad.” He lifted his hand a little and Spoony gently clasped it within his own. “I’m glad you all… were here to help me… understand who I am and… who I used to be.” Spoony’s heart plummeted
“Linkara, no. No, don’t say that.”
“That was never you, kid,” Harvey added quickly.
“I’m glad,” Linkara repeated, his eyes sliding closed once again. “Now that you’re here… I think I can get… a real good night’s sleep. See you all later.”
“Linkara, wait!” Spoony was about to grab him and shake him until he regained consciousness, but he stopped when a hand gripped his shoulder.
“Let him rest,” Harvey said. “After what he’s been through, he needs all he can get.”
Spoony turned to the singer anxiously. “You really think it’s a good idea to let him go to sleep again after he almost didn’t wake up before?”
“He said he’d see us later,” Harvey replied evenly. “And I know the kid wouldn’t lie to us.” His sudden unfaltering calm almost made it seem as if his previous worry had never existed. Almost.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was around two in the morning when Linkara woke up again. He found himself still on the couch, but now under a warm woolen blanket and entangled in Spoony’s limbs, which were curled protectively around him. It took several soft kisses to his neck and a few gentle elbow nudges to free himself, but Linkara was eventually able to stand.
He stared around the room, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness, and discovered the rest of his team had not left Spoony’s living room to sleep. Pollo had powered down on the coffee table. Ninja Style Dancer was leaning against the corner of the room, somehow able to sleep while standing upright. Boffo and 90s Kid were in sleeping bags beside the couch, Oreo curled up between them. Bear had been transferred to the teen’s arms for safekeeping.
Even Insano was closer than expected, since Linkara found him on a cot in the dining room next to an identical cot occupied by Linksano. Insano’s medical equipment was set up on a table next to his bed, ready to be used at any moment, and his bright pink son was nestled in his arms, cooing softly as he slept.
Linkara made sure not to wake any of them as he tiptoed out onto the back porch. After shutting the door, he leaned against the railing, letting the cool night air wash over his skin. Linkara stared up into the starry sky for a moment before sliding a hand into his pocket and pulling out his most prized weapon. He stroked his injured fingers across the silver barrel tenderly.
“A real beauty, if you don’t mind my saying.”
A small blossom of fire revealed Harvey’s position in the far corner of the porch. He took a long drag on his cigarette before walking over to stand beside Linkara. Linkara didn’t move his gaze from the gun.
“Yeah. She is.”
“You two make a great duo.”
“I agree.”
“She really counts on you to be there for her, kid. I hope you weren’t planning on letting her down.” Linkara chuckled softly.
“No, Harvey, I didn’t come out here with the intention of hurting myself. Even if I did want to do that, I wouldn’t use her. I’ve already hurt her enough.”
Harvey’s voice tensed.
“I told you before, kid. That wasn’t you. You would have never done the things those dirty, rotten fiends did. You’re no killer.” Linkara continued to trace patterns along the metal with his bandaged fingertips. “And I’m not the only one who thinks that way,” Harvey continued. “You saw how the others were crammed like sardines in that room back there? They refused to leave until making sure you woke up all safe and sound. So, I’m counting on you not to disappoint them, kid. You’ve never done it before, and I don’t expect you to start now.”
“But no pressure, right?” Linkara teased before meeting Harvey’s gaze. “Thanks, Harvey. I know how much you all worried for me, and I really appreciate it. Honestly, this might take a while… and I might need reminding in case I ever start to forget, but… I think I know. I know I’m not him. I’m not like him and I never could be. I’m starting to understand that just because we share some traits, some memories, doesn’t mean we share the same heart.”
“Damn right you don’t,” Harvey stated. Linkara's voice grew louder and more resolute.
“I’m not him,” he repeated. “I’m not a person who could do what he did. I’m Linkara. I’m just… a guy who’s been compelled to save people and do every good deed I could ever since I was born.” A soft sigh escaped his lips and he looked to the ground. “I always knew it was a compulsion, Harvey. I just never realized it was because I wanted to save someone who died a long time ago.” Linkara glanced over at the singer. “You were right about that all along. I was born to be a hero.”
Harvey exhaled a puff of smoke before flicking his cigarette to the floor and stomping on it. “You were born to be you, kid. To make whatever you want of your life. And nothing’s going to stop that from happening, Linkara, not on my watch.”
Linkara couldn’t help choking up when he heard Harvey call him by name. He turned and wiped away the tears that threatened to spill over while Harvey lit another cigarette, pretending not to notice.
“Enough of all this blather. Now’s the time for action, kid. Tell me what comes next.”
The corners of Linkara’s mouth quirked up into a small smile.
“What’s next? More of the same, I suppose. The Earth needs a champion. The team needs a leader. The Internet needs a nerd ranting about bad comics. And she,” he slipped the Magic Gun back into his pocket, “needs a partner she can be proud of.”
Harvey laid an arm around Linkara’s shoulder and said, almost too softly to hear, “We’re all proud of you, kid.”
Together they gazed out upon the tranquil night, watching until the midnight sky faded into dawn.
Author: ocelot_l
Written for the TGWTG Big Bang
Summary: Fighting villains. Protecting the world. Gambling with fate. This has been Linkara’s life for as long as he can remember, and in all that time, he’s never questioned why he’s been dealt the role of hero. Now, it’s time for Linkara to learn the truth.
The truth about why he’s always felt the need to save those around him, even if it meant risking his life. The truth about the dreams that have started to haunt his mind and confuse his senses. The truth about the little girl whose soul possesses his Magic Gun, and the connection they share.
Based on this prompt from the kink meme
Rating: R for Language, Violence, and Disturbing Themes
Warnings: Language, Disturbing Themes, Blood, Violence, Violence Toward a Child, Child Death, Suicide Attempt
Pairing: Linkara/Spoony
The sun was starting to set when Insano returned with his modified helmet. He also pushed a wheeled cart with two large monitors upon it into the room. Linksano went to his side and assisted him in his pushing, earning himself an appreciative nod from Insano.
“What’re those things, dude?” 90s Kid asked, peering at the dark screens curiously.
“They are to make sure everything proceeds smoothly,” Insano explained as they pushed the cart beside the couch. “After the subject puts on the device-er, I mean Linkara puts on the helmet.” He paused to glance at Harvey, hoping his mistake hadn’t angered the singer, and continued only when Harvey rolled his eyes and nodded. “Yes, so, when he puts on the helmet, we wait until he’s fallen into a sound sleep. I will monitor his blood pressure, respiratory rate, and heart rate while he rests and, using this latest of my many brilliant inventions, I will also determine if Linkara has indeed lived a life before this one!”
“Sleep?” Linkara spoke for the first time in hours in a voice tinged with fear. He was clutching Bear to his chest now with hands that started to shake. “I don’t want to sleep, Spoony.” He looked so frightened that Spoony couldn’t help pulling him closer. “I don’t want to s-see it again. I can’t.”
“But you said you wanted to know the truth!” Insano whined, reminiscent of a cranky two-year- old. “I can’t discover what the truth is unless I use my invention, and I can’t use it unless you sleep! So sleep you must! Do it not just for yourself, but for SCIENCE!”
“Cool it, doc,” Harvey said, ready to step in again. Insano twitched but refused to back down.
“You want to help him, don’t you? This is the only way! You must convince him to participate!” Harvey’s eyes narrowed.
“Oh, I must, must I?” Insano paled and felt his knees knock together, but Linkara stopped Harvey from further action with a sigh of resignation.
“If this… if sleep is the only way to fix it…” Linkara somehow managed to remove his hat and offered it to Spoony.
“Excellent!” Insano cackled as he rushed to give him the helmet. “Now put this on and lie back.” Spoony stood up and watched Linkara settle into a horizontal position on the couch, Bear tucked neatly under his chin.
“I won’t leave,” he promised.
“Neither will we,” Harvey added. Linkara didn’t respond but to slip off his glasses and slip them into the inner pocket of his jacket. He felt the barrel of his Magic Gun as he did and stroked its worn wooden handle a few times. Then he closed his eyes and tried to empty his mind of all thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~
“So, like, how does this work?” 90s Kid peered from the helmet resting atop Linkara’s head to the beeping monitor to which it was attached.
“It appears this helmet monitors his vital signs while Linkara sleeps,” Pollo surmised after studying Insano’s actions for some time.
“It truly is a remarkable device,” Linksano said with a giddy grin. “Only a mind of the highest caliber could invent a machine to control the tempestuous reveries known as dreams.”
“That’s still to be determined,” Spoony muttered. Even though this had been his idea, he still didn’t completely trust Insano and made sure to keep a close eye on him as he worked. Harvey had similar feelings, evidenced by his propensity for pacing around Insano and the monitors every few minutes.
“What’s with this?” Harvey asked, pointing to the still dark second monitor. Insano’s disturbingly giddy smile returned.
“When the time is right, it will display the proof I need to convince the world that I’m correct about reincarnation, just like I was correct about the suicide squirrels!”
Boffo and Ninja Style Dancer, who’d been playing with Oreo on the floor nearby, shared unsettled glances.
~~~~~~~~~~
Linkara could still hear them talking even as he drifted off to sleep. It was as if half of his mind was clinging to reality and trying to pull him back to it, while the other half slowly descended into a pool of darkness he never wanted to enter again, submerging him completely. Linkara couldn’t fight it for long, he was just too exhausted, so he loosened his grip and allowed himself to sink deeper.
~~~~~~~~~~
The others were startled when the second monitor attached to Linkara suddenly switched on. He’d only been asleep for around fifteen minutes now and his vital signs seemed stable.
“What’s this all about?” Harvey asked, shooting Insano an accusatory glare. Instead of being afraid, Insano looked thrilled.
“It’s turned on-that means it’s working! The memories are being accessed!”
A series of images started to flash upon the screen, passing by so quickly they appeared as only a blur of colors and faces. The group stared at them in perplexion before turning back to Insano.
“Those are Linkara’s memories?” Spoony asked.
“How are we supposed to believe that?” Harvey added.
“Just give it a moment,” Insano insisted as he fiddled with a few dials on the side of the monitor.
Sure enough, within seconds the images started to slow down enough that they could be identified.
Standing inside Comicron-1. A classroom full of rowdy kids. A birthday cake with five candles. Harvey singing up on stage. Mechakara charging straight ahead. 90s Kid and Ninja Style Dancer playing Dance Dance Revolution. Trying to sing a song while dressed as King Arthur. A store filled with wall-to-wall comics. A man and woman smiling down from the side of a crib. Lord Vyce grabbing him by the neck of his shirt. Sitting in a darkened room reading comics by flashlight. Charging into Molossia with the other producers. Playing with a deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Everyone reappearing after the Entity’s defeat. Spoony smiling that smile he reserved for only one person before he leaned in close.
“Shit. These really are Linkara’s memories,” Spoony whispered. A part of him felt guilty over seeing such private images, but worry, and the slightest bit of curiosity, quickly washed that away. If this was what it took to help Linkara, then he’d do it and figure out a way to apologize later.
Harvey also seemed uncomfortable, since he reached for his cigarettes five times in five minutes. “How is this even possible? How can a gizmo like this show us the pictures in the kid’s mind?”
“It’s actually not that complicated a process,” Insano piped up. “By stimulating electrical impulses inside his deoxyribonucleic acid, or DNA for you simpletons, the memories are triggered by-”
“Dudes, look!” 90s Kid pointed to the screen as it began to flicker before falling dark once again. “It’s, like, broken.”
“Not it isn’t!” Insano snapped, obviously annoyed at having been interrupted. “This just means the most recent memories have all been accessed, and now the device is searching for the older memories. The memoires of a different time… of a different life. They have been imprinted inside every cell in Linkara’s body and now they will be revealed to us.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Linkara was drowning. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. All he could do was watch the images wind twisted paths around his body, while he plummeted deeper into the dark. He watched as Harvey and Pollo, 90s Kid and Ninja Style Dancer, Critic and all his friends, Spoony, his family, everyone he’d ever held dear flickered brightly for a moment before vanishing. Everything was vanishing. There was only nothingness.
Nothingness and a pair of ink-black eyes staring into his sadly, desperately, pleading with him not to fall any further.
~~~~~~~~~~
No one noticed as the beeping of Linkara’s heart monitor slowed ever so slightly, nor did they spy the strange glow coming from the inner pocket of his jacket. They were too entranced by what was now flashing across the screen.
Unfamiliar landmarks, buildings, and people now took center stage. The world was darker now, and simpler, filled with farmlands and people dressed in old-fashioned clothing and the yellowed pages of ancient books bearing undecipherable writings and symbols. Amidst the confusion were similar scenes that kept reappearing, where crowds of people bowed before an altar and chanted reverently. Each of these scenes was followed by a particular symbol drawn in red and surrounded by flames.
“What is this? What does it mean?” The newer and younger members of the team turned to Harvey and Pollo, hoping they’d have the answers they all craved.
“It means it’s working!” Insano never sounded as gleeful as he did when caressing the monitor with his long, pale fingers. “It means I’ve achieved the impossible and tapped into the memories stored in a soul from its previous lifetime! No one will be able to question my genius ever again!”
Spoony shot him a warning look before turning his eyes back to the screen. It really was fascinating to see these scenes of a bygone era play out before him. Almost like watching a movie without sound.
Spoony hated himself for thinking like that. He knew he shouldn’t be so interested in what they all saw, especially since these very scenes were hurting Linkara so much, but he couldn’t help it. Spoony loved a good puzzle as much as anyone and he wanted to see how these scenes fit together into a coherent narrative. What story were they trying to tell?
~~~~~~~~~~
Linkara tried to avert his eyes. He didn’t want to see it. He couldn’t bear to witness the events of this life again. The life that once was his.
But it wasn’t his choice. His eyes were forced open and he watched it all.
Watched himself study the sacred texts every true believer knew by heart.
Watched himself attend the meetings, praying to a god that was unknown to most, but terrifying to all.
Watched himself meet the dour young woman who would become his wife.
Watched as the bump in her stomach grew larger while her frown grew more pronounced.
Watched himself soothe her that it wouldn’t be for long, that in the end it would be worth it.
Watched the baby who loved life and her parents more than anything grow before his eyes into a beautiful young girl.
She was so innocent. So trusting. She walked into the garage obediently that night, her last on Earth.
She cried when she saw the knife. She fell to her knees and sobbed, asking why this was happening, what she’d done wrong, how could she fix it?
How could she have known that her whole reason for existing was for precisely this moment?
He watched his wife prepare the altar and the flames burn around him while his hands dripped with her blood.
He stared down at his hands and opened them to gaze upon the weapon he’d sacrificed everything for. It was so beautiful, even as it started to burn the skin away from his hands and burn the nightmarish scenes, which could only be scenes of Hell itself, into his mind. His wife screamed and tried to pull it away, but the second it made contact with her skin, the weapon burned her too.
He saw her eyes again, her dark eyes filled only with betrayal and pain.
“Why, Papa? I thought you loved me… did you and Mama ever love me? It hurts so much… I can’t find Heaven, Papa… it hurts… it hurts…”
~~~~~~~~~~
Even without sound, the images were enough. No one moved after witnessing the tragedy unfold before their eyes.
Then 90s Kid’s legs buckled and he collapsed into a chair.
“D-dude… that… that was… sick…” He sniffled and removed his sunglasses to swipe at his eyes.
Beside him, Ninja Style Dancer and Boffo hugged each other tightly, in a desperate bid for comfort.
Insano was also crying as he clung onto Linksano for support. “How… how could any parent do that to their child? How could he… how…”
Harvey had his head in his hands. He couldn’t respond to anything at the moment, not after witnessing that.
Spoony felt nauseous. He wanted to run out of the room, empty his stomach, and then find some way to empty his mind of that disgusting, vile, horrible, sickening movie.
Except it wasn’t a movie. It had really happened once upon a time, and it happened because of-
“Linkara!” Pollo quickly hovered over to Linkara’s side. “What’s wrong, Linkara?”
At that moment, they realized that Linkara’s heart monitor had flat-lined and his breathing had stopped.
~~~~~~~~~~
Linkara didn’t want to open his eyes ever again. He didn’t deserve to see light or beauty any longer. He deserved only the darkness, and gladly let it swallow him whole.
Maybe next time he’d do better. Maybe next time he could make up for everything he’d done.
No, that was impossible. Nothing could make up for his actions. Nothing could make him forgive himself. There would be no next time. There would only be nothingness, what he deserved most.
Then a warm hand clutched at his and tried to pull him back up. Linkara moaned, yearning to return to nothingness, but the hand continued to tug him up. He opened his eyes and found her staring down at him. She looked exactly the same, from her hair to her clothes, except for her eyes. They shone with fear.
“Where are you going? Why are you using my magic to go away? I don’t want you to go away, partner.”
Linkara blanched and tried to yank his hand away.
“I’m not your partner! I’m nothing! I’m filth! I’m scum!”
Her eyes filled with tears.
“Why are you saying that, partner?”
Linkara’s pain transformed into rage.
“How can you even ask me that?” he screamed at her. “You know who I am! What I am! You know what I did to you, so why?! Why are you even talking to me?!”
She shuddered a little but her grip remained firm.
“B-because you’re my p-partner-” Linkara saw red.
“I’m your murderer! I killed you! I sacrificed you to make a gun!”
“No!” she screamed back, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. “No! You didn’t do that! Papa did, and you’re not Papa! You wouldn’t hurt me!”
Papa. That word, so innocent and achingly familiar, was like a stab inside the deepest part of Linkara. The memories rose up, washing completely over him, and he wanted nothing more than to drown.
“I’m a monster.” Linkara deflated, voice going flat, body going limp. The girl shook her head again.
“You’re a hero.”
“I’ve hurt and killed someone so innocent.”
“You’ve saved lives. Many, many lives.”
“My own… child…”
“I’m not! I’m your partner!”
“I don’t deserve to live.” Linkara’s body sagged, wanting to sink lower. “I don’t deserve to see anyone I love again, least of all you. Please…” His voice grew weak and soft. “Please let me die.”
The hand holding his disappeared and Linkara felt relief as he began falling again. Then he gasped as thin arms surrounded him and hugged him so tightly he felt like he might explode, before a small face buried itself in his chest.
“Please don’t leave me,” she sobbed, clinging so tightly to Linkara it hurt. “Please stay with me. I don’t want to be alone… I can’t be alone anymore… you’re not bad, partner… you’re a hero, you’ve saved people… me and you saved them all together… please remember... you’re Linkara… remember that… remember us…”
She touched his forehead and stared at him with the melancholy expression of one who’s lived for far too long. Her eyes shimmered with tears like newly stirred pools of ink but she refused to blink. Linkara watched as a new set of memories started to swirl through the void surrounding them.
He watched as he saved his friends and family countless times, as he risked his life for complete strangers, as he defended the Earth from those who would wish it harm. Every villain he’d ever fought passed before him before disappearing in a flash of golden light.
He watched as he held his Magic Gun high and smiled, knowing he could protect countless people thanks to its power. As he lifted the weapon, another, smaller hand pressed on top of his.
Then the images were gone. Linkara blinked several times before looking back at her. He watched the tears continue to silently flow down her cheeks without speaking. If she of all people didn’t hate him, then maybe… then maybe he could go back.
Linkara didn’t know. He didn’t know what was the right thing to do, or if he could ever be truly forgiven for everything that had transpired. All he knew at that moment was that he couldn’t bear to see her crying.
“I’m… I’m so sorry.” Linkara’s voice quavered as he reached up to brush a few of her tears away. “I’m so sorry for hurting you then… and for hurting you now. I never want to hurt you again. I would do anything to make up for the horrible things that happened. I always thought I wanted to be a hero for myself… but now I know that I want to do it for you… and for everyone I’ve ever cared about. So if you still want me for a partner, then… I promise I won’t leave you again.”
Her smile was heart-breaking, just like everything else about her.
“I’ll always choose you for my partner.”
She hugged him again, even tighter than before, but it didn’t hurt this time. Linkara wrapped his arms around her frail body, holding her as close as he could, and slowly began the long journey up.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Come on, kid, you’re stronger than this. I know you’re stronger than this! You can’t give up now, not yet!”
“Linkara, please! You have to wake up! Linkara, please wake up!”
Linkara had stopped breathing for almost a minute, and Harvey and Spoony refused to leave his side. The former kept pounding upon Linkara’s chest in a valiant if misguided attempt to resuscitate him, while the latter wouldn’t stop stroking and patting his cheeks, straining to hear even a faint breath that would signal Linkara’s return to him.
The others watched from a close distance, huddled together, gripping hands and holding breaths as they willed their leader back to them. Without Linkara they were lost, many homeless, and certainly afraid of what the future held for them without their fearless hero. So focused were they that they didn’t even flinch when Insano approached the couch, a giant syringe in his hand.
“You must give me space,” Insano tried to command. “I need to inject this into his heart right now or else we won’t have a chance of reviving him!”
Only Harvey heard him, and he shot Insano a look of pure loathing as he fought an internal battle. It was won instantly, as Harvey turned the loathing on himself.
“Damn it. Can’t believe I’m this weak.” Harvey sighed before reluctantly pulling back and nodding to Spoony. “Come on. We have no choice now.”
Spoony gave a feeble, inaudible answer and slowly sat up, but paused when he noticed the bright light coming from under Linkara’s jacket.
“What the hell?”
Before he could even think to investigate, a loud beeping caught his and everyone’s attention.
“Look! The TVs are doing stuff again!” 90s Kid pointed out excitedly. They held their breaths upon realizing that Linkara’s heartbeat had returned, and exhaled in joy when they saw that he’d started to breathe again as well.
“Wait, what’s with the other one?” Harvey pointed at the second monitor, which had also flickered back to life.
Spoony felt his earlier wave of nausea return. “It’s showing more memories.” He had no desire to witness anything like what he’d seen before, and he knew he wasn’t the only one. However, the images were different this time.
“We’re seeing Linkara’s memories again,” Pollo noted.
They all watched as Linkara defeated Mechakara, Lord Vyce, the Entity, stopped the power-hungry Critic from blowing up a micro-nation, shot at Malachite with his Magic Gun, stopped bank robbers, saved a boy from being hit a car, and committed too many heroic acts to count.
90s Kid looked anxiously at the others. “What does it mean?”
“It means the kid’s still got some fight left in him,” Harvey replied, an almost unnoticeable tremor in his voice.
Linkara’s groans immediately drew their attention and they all rushed to surround the couch, watching as he slowly opened his eyes and peered up blankly.
“Linkara.”
“Linkara dude!”
“I knew you could do it, kid.”
Linkara’s eyes focused on the smiling faces staring down at him before he locked gazes with Spoony.
“Spoony… everyone… you’re here. I’m glad.” He lifted his hand a little and Spoony gently clasped it within his own. “I’m glad you all… were here to help me… understand who I am and… who I used to be.” Spoony’s heart plummeted
“Linkara, no. No, don’t say that.”
“That was never you, kid,” Harvey added quickly.
“I’m glad,” Linkara repeated, his eyes sliding closed once again. “Now that you’re here… I think I can get… a real good night’s sleep. See you all later.”
“Linkara, wait!” Spoony was about to grab him and shake him until he regained consciousness, but he stopped when a hand gripped his shoulder.
“Let him rest,” Harvey said. “After what he’s been through, he needs all he can get.”
Spoony turned to the singer anxiously. “You really think it’s a good idea to let him go to sleep again after he almost didn’t wake up before?”
“He said he’d see us later,” Harvey replied evenly. “And I know the kid wouldn’t lie to us.” His sudden unfaltering calm almost made it seem as if his previous worry had never existed. Almost.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was around two in the morning when Linkara woke up again. He found himself still on the couch, but now under a warm woolen blanket and entangled in Spoony’s limbs, which were curled protectively around him. It took several soft kisses to his neck and a few gentle elbow nudges to free himself, but Linkara was eventually able to stand.
He stared around the room, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness, and discovered the rest of his team had not left Spoony’s living room to sleep. Pollo had powered down on the coffee table. Ninja Style Dancer was leaning against the corner of the room, somehow able to sleep while standing upright. Boffo and 90s Kid were in sleeping bags beside the couch, Oreo curled up between them. Bear had been transferred to the teen’s arms for safekeeping.
Even Insano was closer than expected, since Linkara found him on a cot in the dining room next to an identical cot occupied by Linksano. Insano’s medical equipment was set up on a table next to his bed, ready to be used at any moment, and his bright pink son was nestled in his arms, cooing softly as he slept.
Linkara made sure not to wake any of them as he tiptoed out onto the back porch. After shutting the door, he leaned against the railing, letting the cool night air wash over his skin. Linkara stared up into the starry sky for a moment before sliding a hand into his pocket and pulling out his most prized weapon. He stroked his injured fingers across the silver barrel tenderly.
“A real beauty, if you don’t mind my saying.”
A small blossom of fire revealed Harvey’s position in the far corner of the porch. He took a long drag on his cigarette before walking over to stand beside Linkara. Linkara didn’t move his gaze from the gun.
“Yeah. She is.”
“You two make a great duo.”
“I agree.”
“She really counts on you to be there for her, kid. I hope you weren’t planning on letting her down.” Linkara chuckled softly.
“No, Harvey, I didn’t come out here with the intention of hurting myself. Even if I did want to do that, I wouldn’t use her. I’ve already hurt her enough.”
Harvey’s voice tensed.
“I told you before, kid. That wasn’t you. You would have never done the things those dirty, rotten fiends did. You’re no killer.” Linkara continued to trace patterns along the metal with his bandaged fingertips. “And I’m not the only one who thinks that way,” Harvey continued. “You saw how the others were crammed like sardines in that room back there? They refused to leave until making sure you woke up all safe and sound. So, I’m counting on you not to disappoint them, kid. You’ve never done it before, and I don’t expect you to start now.”
“But no pressure, right?” Linkara teased before meeting Harvey’s gaze. “Thanks, Harvey. I know how much you all worried for me, and I really appreciate it. Honestly, this might take a while… and I might need reminding in case I ever start to forget, but… I think I know. I know I’m not him. I’m not like him and I never could be. I’m starting to understand that just because we share some traits, some memories, doesn’t mean we share the same heart.”
“Damn right you don’t,” Harvey stated. Linkara's voice grew louder and more resolute.
“I’m not him,” he repeated. “I’m not a person who could do what he did. I’m Linkara. I’m just… a guy who’s been compelled to save people and do every good deed I could ever since I was born.” A soft sigh escaped his lips and he looked to the ground. “I always knew it was a compulsion, Harvey. I just never realized it was because I wanted to save someone who died a long time ago.” Linkara glanced over at the singer. “You were right about that all along. I was born to be a hero.”
Harvey exhaled a puff of smoke before flicking his cigarette to the floor and stomping on it. “You were born to be you, kid. To make whatever you want of your life. And nothing’s going to stop that from happening, Linkara, not on my watch.”
Linkara couldn’t help choking up when he heard Harvey call him by name. He turned and wiped away the tears that threatened to spill over while Harvey lit another cigarette, pretending not to notice.
“Enough of all this blather. Now’s the time for action, kid. Tell me what comes next.”
The corners of Linkara’s mouth quirked up into a small smile.
“What’s next? More of the same, I suppose. The Earth needs a champion. The team needs a leader. The Internet needs a nerd ranting about bad comics. And she,” he slipped the Magic Gun back into his pocket, “needs a partner she can be proud of.”
Harvey laid an arm around Linkara’s shoulder and said, almost too softly to hear, “We’re all proud of you, kid.”
Together they gazed out upon the tranquil night, watching until the midnight sky faded into dawn.