Will You Be My Nurse?
A little fic for the kink meme prompt of Insano being sick and reluctantly going to Spoony for help. Oh hurt/comfort, I will never be able to resist your allure.
The title comes from a Song Styles where Brad sang to Anna the nurse. I wish Brad had been allowed to sing more solo song styles, as well as Chip and Jeff. The U.S. version was really skimpy in not giving out solos to the others. I mean, I know Wayne was on every episode, but I think they should have rotated Song Styles when one of the other singers was on with him, as well as doing a Duet, and then airing whichever was best.
Spoony was in the middle of attempting to teach Oreo the difference between her very expensive chew toys and the even more expensive game controllers she liked chewing on even more when a barrage of sneezes followed by a moan of despair caught his attention. He turned around to find the usually energetic Dr. Insano wavering unsteadily on his feet, a wad of crumpled tissues in one hand, a thermometer in the other.
“Are you okay?” Spoony asked, moving to get a better look at the doctor. Insano had shed his white lab coat and rolled up the sleeves of his scrubs, which seemed to be completely soaked with sweat. His skin was flushed, his forehead beaded with tiny droplets that trickled down his face every so often. “You look like shit, man.”
“For the past three days I’ve been down in the lab, working on repairing my orbital death ray,” Insano informed him in a more nasal voice than usual. “I was making terrific progress, until this morning, when I started feeling a small wave of dizziness. Naturally, I assumed this was an effect of remaining in a sealed room where I was breathing in a number of noxious chemicals for hours on end. I took a break and went out for a walk, but found myself unbearably cold after only spending a few minutes communing with nature. I subsequently returned to my lab to find a sweater, when I suddenly felt as if my very skin were on fire. It was a most peculiar experience, I admit.”
“Oh fuck,” Spoony muttered. “You have a fever, don’t you?” Insano looked indignant.
“I am a man of science. I do not get sick like you common imbeciles.” Spoony rolled his eyes.
“Then why are you standing there like you’re about to pass out? And why are you holding that thermometer?”
“I am merely tired from exerting such an exhausting amount of effort on my work,” Insano snapped. “I’m sure you would have no idea what that’s like.” Spoony decided to let that go because the doctor’s face had started to resemble a sweaty tomato. “As for this, I brought it to you because it is broken.” He handed the thermometer to Spoony, who looked down at it.
“102? Is that what your temperature is?”
“No, that’s incorrect,” Insano insisted. “It’s broken because I am not sick.”
“Oh really?” Spoony asked, unconvinced. “Hey! Oreo!” He looked to the dog and pointed toward Insano. “Go say hello, girl!”
“What?” Insano watched in horror while the energetic Oreo bounded up to him and quickly knocked him to the floor before she covered his face in slobbery kisses. “Stop it! Get this horrid cur off me this instant!”
Spoony snickered at Insano’s feeble attempts to protect his face from Oreo’s tongue before another fit of sneezing overtook him. Spoony shook his head and finally pulled the dog away. Insano’s goggles had been knocked off in all the commotion and Spoony noticed his pupils were dilated and extremely bloodshot.
“Ok, that’s it,” he said as he pulled Insano to his feet. “You’re going to bed right this minute.”
“I’m not sick,” Insano murmured with the last of his energy. His body went mostly limp as Spoony half-walked, half-carried him into his bedroom, but he perked back up when Spoony tried to remove the top of his scrubs. “What are you doing?” he cried, his face even redder than before, if that were possible.
“You can’t sleep in drenched clothes,” Spoony told him, trying not to let his annoyance show. “You need to change into something dry.”
“I can do that myself,” Insano said. To prove it, he stumbled over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas before turning to give Spoony a look which clearly said ‘get out’.
“All right, I’m going,” Spoony said as he turned to leave. “But I want you to put those on and get into bed. I’m going to get you some stuff to make you feel better.”
“Your efforts are pointless,” Insano called out as he left, but he did indeed change before settling himself under his covers, lying back, and closing his eyes.
Spoony grabbed a bottle of medicine, a glass of water, a washcloth, a bowl of cold water, and some movies that always cheered him up when he was sick before returning to Insano’s room.
“Riki-tee!” Son of Insano had discovered his father in Spoony’s absence and was currently sitting on the bed beside Insano, reading to him from one of his picture books. “Riki-ki! Riki-tee! Riki!”
“That’s wonderful, son, thank you.” Insano was struggling to keep his eyes open with each turn of the page, and Spoony couldn’t help smiling at his determination to stay awake. He waited until Son of Insano finished before walking over to pat the ball of pink tendrils on what he assumed was his head.
“All right, kiddo, while we love to hear your stories, I think it’s time to let your father sleep now. Say good night.”
“Riki-tee!” Son of Insano nuzzled against his father’s cheek before bouncing out of the room.
“I never realized how tedious that ‘3 Little Pigs’ story really was,” Insano admitted as Spoony set down his things on the bedside table.
“Take these,” Spoony instructed. He handed Insano a few pills and the glass of water. Insano frowned before reluctantly downing the medicine.
“I’m only doing this to get you off my back,” he declared. Spoony rolled his eyes and felt Insano’s forehead for himself. As he suspected, Insano was burning up and in no condition to do anything other than rest. Spoony grimaced down at his damp hand and subtly wiped it on the bedspread before turning back to the doctor.
“Fine. You can humor me more by staying in bed for the rest of the day. If you need anything, just call out and I’ll get it for you. Here’s a washcloth for your face or wherever else gets too hot-don’t tell me where you used it, I’ll just throw it out afterwards.” Insano huffed but said nothing. “You can also watch a movie if you’re bored, all right?” Insano remained silent and settled under his covers again, conspicuously turning his head away from Spoony. “Jeez, act like a fucking baby, I don’t care. Just stay put.” Spoony shook his head and walked over to the door.
“Thank you.” Spoony halted in surprise and turned back, but Insano was still refusing to look at him. He chuckled softly and shut off the light.
“Get well soon.”
The title comes from a Song Styles where Brad sang to Anna the nurse. I wish Brad had been allowed to sing more solo song styles, as well as Chip and Jeff. The U.S. version was really skimpy in not giving out solos to the others. I mean, I know Wayne was on every episode, but I think they should have rotated Song Styles when one of the other singers was on with him, as well as doing a Duet, and then airing whichever was best.
Spoony was in the middle of attempting to teach Oreo the difference between her very expensive chew toys and the even more expensive game controllers she liked chewing on even more when a barrage of sneezes followed by a moan of despair caught his attention. He turned around to find the usually energetic Dr. Insano wavering unsteadily on his feet, a wad of crumpled tissues in one hand, a thermometer in the other.
“Are you okay?” Spoony asked, moving to get a better look at the doctor. Insano had shed his white lab coat and rolled up the sleeves of his scrubs, which seemed to be completely soaked with sweat. His skin was flushed, his forehead beaded with tiny droplets that trickled down his face every so often. “You look like shit, man.”
“For the past three days I’ve been down in the lab, working on repairing my orbital death ray,” Insano informed him in a more nasal voice than usual. “I was making terrific progress, until this morning, when I started feeling a small wave of dizziness. Naturally, I assumed this was an effect of remaining in a sealed room where I was breathing in a number of noxious chemicals for hours on end. I took a break and went out for a walk, but found myself unbearably cold after only spending a few minutes communing with nature. I subsequently returned to my lab to find a sweater, when I suddenly felt as if my very skin were on fire. It was a most peculiar experience, I admit.”
“Oh fuck,” Spoony muttered. “You have a fever, don’t you?” Insano looked indignant.
“I am a man of science. I do not get sick like you common imbeciles.” Spoony rolled his eyes.
“Then why are you standing there like you’re about to pass out? And why are you holding that thermometer?”
“I am merely tired from exerting such an exhausting amount of effort on my work,” Insano snapped. “I’m sure you would have no idea what that’s like.” Spoony decided to let that go because the doctor’s face had started to resemble a sweaty tomato. “As for this, I brought it to you because it is broken.” He handed the thermometer to Spoony, who looked down at it.
“102? Is that what your temperature is?”
“No, that’s incorrect,” Insano insisted. “It’s broken because I am not sick.”
“Oh really?” Spoony asked, unconvinced. “Hey! Oreo!” He looked to the dog and pointed toward Insano. “Go say hello, girl!”
“What?” Insano watched in horror while the energetic Oreo bounded up to him and quickly knocked him to the floor before she covered his face in slobbery kisses. “Stop it! Get this horrid cur off me this instant!”
Spoony snickered at Insano’s feeble attempts to protect his face from Oreo’s tongue before another fit of sneezing overtook him. Spoony shook his head and finally pulled the dog away. Insano’s goggles had been knocked off in all the commotion and Spoony noticed his pupils were dilated and extremely bloodshot.
“Ok, that’s it,” he said as he pulled Insano to his feet. “You’re going to bed right this minute.”
“I’m not sick,” Insano murmured with the last of his energy. His body went mostly limp as Spoony half-walked, half-carried him into his bedroom, but he perked back up when Spoony tried to remove the top of his scrubs. “What are you doing?” he cried, his face even redder than before, if that were possible.
“You can’t sleep in drenched clothes,” Spoony told him, trying not to let his annoyance show. “You need to change into something dry.”
“I can do that myself,” Insano said. To prove it, he stumbled over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas before turning to give Spoony a look which clearly said ‘get out’.
“All right, I’m going,” Spoony said as he turned to leave. “But I want you to put those on and get into bed. I’m going to get you some stuff to make you feel better.”
“Your efforts are pointless,” Insano called out as he left, but he did indeed change before settling himself under his covers, lying back, and closing his eyes.
Spoony grabbed a bottle of medicine, a glass of water, a washcloth, a bowl of cold water, and some movies that always cheered him up when he was sick before returning to Insano’s room.
“Riki-tee!” Son of Insano had discovered his father in Spoony’s absence and was currently sitting on the bed beside Insano, reading to him from one of his picture books. “Riki-ki! Riki-tee! Riki!”
“That’s wonderful, son, thank you.” Insano was struggling to keep his eyes open with each turn of the page, and Spoony couldn’t help smiling at his determination to stay awake. He waited until Son of Insano finished before walking over to pat the ball of pink tendrils on what he assumed was his head.
“All right, kiddo, while we love to hear your stories, I think it’s time to let your father sleep now. Say good night.”
“Riki-tee!” Son of Insano nuzzled against his father’s cheek before bouncing out of the room.
“I never realized how tedious that ‘3 Little Pigs’ story really was,” Insano admitted as Spoony set down his things on the bedside table.
“Take these,” Spoony instructed. He handed Insano a few pills and the glass of water. Insano frowned before reluctantly downing the medicine.
“I’m only doing this to get you off my back,” he declared. Spoony rolled his eyes and felt Insano’s forehead for himself. As he suspected, Insano was burning up and in no condition to do anything other than rest. Spoony grimaced down at his damp hand and subtly wiped it on the bedspread before turning back to the doctor.
“Fine. You can humor me more by staying in bed for the rest of the day. If you need anything, just call out and I’ll get it for you. Here’s a washcloth for your face or wherever else gets too hot-don’t tell me where you used it, I’ll just throw it out afterwards.” Insano huffed but said nothing. “You can also watch a movie if you’re bored, all right?” Insano remained silent and settled under his covers again, conspicuously turning his head away from Spoony. “Jeez, act like a fucking baby, I don’t care. Just stay put.” Spoony shook his head and walked over to the door.
“Thank you.” Spoony halted in surprise and turned back, but Insano was still refusing to look at him. He chuckled softly and shut off the light.
“Get well soon.”