Send In The Clown
Ok, a fill for the kink meme prompt of Boffo the Clown meeting some of the other reviewers and what their reactions would be. I had to fill this because I love clown and I love Boffo even for the short time he was on Linkara's show (Linkara had better rescue him as well as NSD and Harvey and Pollo!) It makes me really happy that Lewis is standing up for clowns because I also hate that evil/scary-clown stereotype that people love to joke about. If someone has a legitimate fear of clowns, I understand and am sorry, but those other people are just being stupid jerks! Clowns are not trying to hurt anyone! They are usually good people who just like to dress up and entertain others, so I truly hope they will stop being the subject of those mean jokes soon!
The title still comes from WL, because I'm pretty sure Drew used it as an Intro for Ryan during an episode.
Boffo straightened the collar of his suit and checked his over-sized bag of tools and tricks one final time before knocking very politely on the door of a house in Texas.
He was on a mission to polish the tarnished reputation of clowns mistakenly held by people all over the world. It shocked Boffo how people could think of him and his brethren as sinister, monster-ish beings who lived to torment innocent children. All Boffo had ever wanted to do was bring happiness and laughter into the lives of everyone he met, and it broke his heart when children would run screaming if he dared to approach, or when adults made snide remarks about how creepy and evil he seemed.
But that was all going to change. Boffo had come up with a plan to restore likability to clowns. He would use the Internet, as it was a place where opinions and popularity could drastically change in just an instant. More specifically, he would use a site on the Internet where many angry people flocked to post videos about things they utterly hated, as well as things they utterly adored. If Boffo could get just a few of these video makers from Channel Awesome to talk about their fondness for clowns, perhaps others would start seeing them in a new light as well.
The logical place for Boffo to start this campaign of clown-appreciation was with one video maker who was so livid about things, he even used the moniker Angry Joe. If Boffo could find support from someone who was normally quite irate, it would surely be easier to find support from less caustic critics as well.
A man Boffo didn’t recognize answered the door.
“Oh, hey,” he said, staring at the clown in surprise. “You looking for Angry Joe?” Boffo nodded. “I figured. I’m the other Joe, Angry Joe’s friend. You must be someone from the site. He said they often stop by for visits. Here, come on in and wait in the living room-he’ll be down soon.”
Boffo nodded his thanks to the other man and carried his suitcase into the living room. He was trying to decide which talent he would use first to delight the gamer when Angry Joe sauntered into the room, his gaze focused on a video game he held. Boffo decided to get his attention by honking the horn he always carried with him.
“What the fuck?” Joe jumped, obviously startled, and whipped his head up to peer at the source of the noise. Boffo smiled and waved at him. “Holy shit! How the fuck did you get in my house?”
Panicked and with terror in his eyes, Joe blasted a bolt of lightning at Boffo before diving to the ground and rolling across the carpet until he reached a desk on the other side of the room. Boffo’s quick reflexes let him avoid the lightning, but his expression had already fallen. This was not going at all like he’d imagined.
“You get the fuck out of here, you creepy-ass clown!” Joe pulled two machine guns from one of the desk drawers and pointed them directly at Boffo. The clown quickly raised his hands in a gesture of innocence, but this just made Joe growl. “Get out of here now before I shoot the shit out of you!”
Boffo did not need to be told twice. He grabbed his bag and fled the house in less than thirty seconds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, maybe starting off with one of the angriest reviewers had been a bad idea. If Boffo wanted to change public opinion, he’d have to start with less-angry but equally opinionated video makers. So, he made sure he had plenty of bottled water and batteries for his personal fan before making his way to Arizona.
Spoony answered after a few knocks and stared at Boffo in dismay.
“No. No fucking way, man. I’ve already had more than enough encounters with Fucking Chuckles, and I don’t need to add any creepy clowns to my show.”
Boffo winced as the door was slammed in his face, and then sighed. It had been difficult enough just getting out here, and now he would already have to leave without being any closer to achieving his goals. Boffo grabbed his bag and turned, ready to depart, when the door opened again.
“Wait, please don’t go!” Boffo turned to find a man in scrubs and a white lab coat. “Please ignore Spoony-he’s always an asshole when he doesn’t get enough sleep. I’m Dr. Insano and I live here as well with my son. He absolutely loves clowns and he’d be thrilled to watch you put on a show. Would you please consider performing some of your tricks for him?”
Boffo smiled at the man and nodded. He always did love performing for children, even children that turned out to be small, spiky pink balls with humongous eyes. Nevertheless, Son of Insano was a child, and he laughed and trilled happily as Boffo performed magic tricks for him and twisted colorful balloons into different animals.
“Riki-tee!” SOI chirped as he hugged a blue rabbit-shaped balloon animal tightly.
“I knew he would enjoy this.” Boffo turned to thank Insano for allowing him to perform, but froze when he noticed the giant needle clenched in the doctor’s hand. “Oh, I hope this isn’t worrying you,” Insano said, stroking the needle gently as he walked closer and closer to the clown. “I was just hoping to take a few samples for my research… it shouldn’t hurt you too much.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boffo shook his head to clear the memories of escaping Insano’s lab from his mind (and was once again thankful that he had learned many magical escape techniques). He needed to stay positive if he was going to gain potential partners in spreading the good word about clowns.
Boffo decided to change tactics and work on impressing a more positive member of Channel Awesome. He’d selected CR, a friendly reviewer who was always speaking fondly about cartoons he loved and that deserved more recognition from audiences, and was hopeful that he would be sympathetic to the plight of clowns.
Boffo peered in the front window of CR’s house and spotted his target sitting on a couch with another reviewer, Suede, as they watched an animated movie on CR’s television. He smiled and reached into his bag before pulling out a cream pie. If there was one thing people loved to watch, it was other people getting hit with pies, and Boffo was sure he could make the two smile by covering himself in the whipped dessert.
Boffo knocked on the window to catch their attention and lifted the pie up over his head.
“Oh my God!” CR cried when he caught sight of the clown. “It’s a Killer Klown from outer space! And it’s going to attack us with a custard pie made of acid!”
“Not if I can help it!” Suede cried as he quickly stood up. He reached for his waist and unsheathed a gigantic sword before raising it up over his head. “No one else is going to die on my watch- hey, where’d he go?”
“I don’t know,” CR said, turning his gaze from the weapon back to window. “I think he’s gone.”
When they went outside to investigate, all the two could find was a smear of cream on the side of the house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boffo stood in complete and utter boredom as a chatty young woman with wings dashed about her bedroom pulling outfits from her closet, holding them up to his chest, and then throwing them aside as she dashed to pull off another set of clothes. He wasn’t sure at the moment whether this reaction was more or less irritating than the shouts of terror and threats on his life he usually received when he met someone.
“Oh, I think this would look just darling on you!” the Makeover Fairy squealed as she draped a powder blue tuxedo over his body. “A clown needs to have some color in his outfit, you know! Black, while stylish, is simply not whimsical enough!”
Boffo nodded and struggled not to roll his eyes. He had shown up at Team Nostalgia Chick’s place hours ago, hoping to impress one of the ladies with his face-painting skills, but the second the door was opened, his paintbrush had been snatched away by the perky fairy.
“Oh, silly dear,” she told Boffo with a wink. “I’m the one who does the face painting around here.” He still hadn’t recovered his brush, but he was starting to think it wasn’t worth waiting for.
“You know, maybe we should forget about clothes for the time being,” the Makeover Fairy said as she picked up her wand and pointed it at Boffo, smiling brightly. “I think we should focus on fixing that face of yours. Big red nose equals big red ‘no’ in my book, and that hair really needs some styling gel.”
Boffo decided that he could always buy more paintbrushes and reached for his magical escape powder. He tossed a handful at the girl and by the time the Makeover Fairy stopped coughing, he and his bag were gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boffo sighed as he walked down the street, hanging his head slightly. No matter how hard he tried, his efforts were always squashed, and he found himself with even more people who disliked, were apathetic to, or just wanted to change all clowns they met. Perhaps his mission was doomed to end in failure and no one would ever see clowns as people who loved trying to bring just a little bit of joy into the world.
Boffo walked over to the bus stop and set his bag down as he waited for the bus to come to take him back to his hotel room. Without really thinking about it, he pulled out a few colorful balls from his pocket and started juggling them, as he often did when he was lost in thought. He juggled for several minutes and wondered whether Burger King would consider hiring a clown mascot to replace that creepy king.
“Duuuuude! That is awesome!”
Boffo started from his thoughts and looked over to see a teenager wearing flannel and sunglasses watching him in awe. He smiled at the boy and pulled out three more balls from his pocket before effortlessly tossing them into the air to mingle with the others.
“Whoa! You are totally amazing!” The teen was further impressed by Boffo’s feats of magic, and his ability to paint a flaming skull holding a gun in its mouth on his cheek. “I look so boss now!” he shouted as he admired his appearance in a store window.
“90s Kid! There you are!” Boffo looked up as a young man in a brown hat and coat rushed over to the teen. “Where have you been?”
“I was watching this totally awesome clown-dude, Linkara,” 90s Kid replied as he gestured toward Boffo. “He can do all sorts of radical stuff!” The clown looked at the other man in surprise. There had been a Linkara on his list of Channel Awesome reviewers-could this be him?
Boffo quickly smiled at Linkara and offered him his business card.
“You’re Boffo the Clown, huh?” Linkara asked. Boffo nodded. “I’m a big fan of clowns myself,” Linkara continued as he further studied the card. “Are you looking for work? I do an Internet review show and-”
Linkara was cut off by Boffo lunging at him and pulling him into a tight hug. The comic lover look surprised, then chuckled.
“I guess that’s a yes, then. Ok, Boffo, come on back to my place and I’ll find something for you to do on my next episode.”
“All right, a new roommate!” 90s Kid cheered as Linkara picked up his bag for him. Boffo smiled gratefully at Linkara. At last, he would get his chance to show the world what being a clown was really about.
The title still comes from WL, because I'm pretty sure Drew used it as an Intro for Ryan during an episode.
Boffo straightened the collar of his suit and checked his over-sized bag of tools and tricks one final time before knocking very politely on the door of a house in Texas.
He was on a mission to polish the tarnished reputation of clowns mistakenly held by people all over the world. It shocked Boffo how people could think of him and his brethren as sinister, monster-ish beings who lived to torment innocent children. All Boffo had ever wanted to do was bring happiness and laughter into the lives of everyone he met, and it broke his heart when children would run screaming if he dared to approach, or when adults made snide remarks about how creepy and evil he seemed.
But that was all going to change. Boffo had come up with a plan to restore likability to clowns. He would use the Internet, as it was a place where opinions and popularity could drastically change in just an instant. More specifically, he would use a site on the Internet where many angry people flocked to post videos about things they utterly hated, as well as things they utterly adored. If Boffo could get just a few of these video makers from Channel Awesome to talk about their fondness for clowns, perhaps others would start seeing them in a new light as well.
The logical place for Boffo to start this campaign of clown-appreciation was with one video maker who was so livid about things, he even used the moniker Angry Joe. If Boffo could find support from someone who was normally quite irate, it would surely be easier to find support from less caustic critics as well.
A man Boffo didn’t recognize answered the door.
“Oh, hey,” he said, staring at the clown in surprise. “You looking for Angry Joe?” Boffo nodded. “I figured. I’m the other Joe, Angry Joe’s friend. You must be someone from the site. He said they often stop by for visits. Here, come on in and wait in the living room-he’ll be down soon.”
Boffo nodded his thanks to the other man and carried his suitcase into the living room. He was trying to decide which talent he would use first to delight the gamer when Angry Joe sauntered into the room, his gaze focused on a video game he held. Boffo decided to get his attention by honking the horn he always carried with him.
“What the fuck?” Joe jumped, obviously startled, and whipped his head up to peer at the source of the noise. Boffo smiled and waved at him. “Holy shit! How the fuck did you get in my house?”
Panicked and with terror in his eyes, Joe blasted a bolt of lightning at Boffo before diving to the ground and rolling across the carpet until he reached a desk on the other side of the room. Boffo’s quick reflexes let him avoid the lightning, but his expression had already fallen. This was not going at all like he’d imagined.
“You get the fuck out of here, you creepy-ass clown!” Joe pulled two machine guns from one of the desk drawers and pointed them directly at Boffo. The clown quickly raised his hands in a gesture of innocence, but this just made Joe growl. “Get out of here now before I shoot the shit out of you!”
Boffo did not need to be told twice. He grabbed his bag and fled the house in less than thirty seconds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, maybe starting off with one of the angriest reviewers had been a bad idea. If Boffo wanted to change public opinion, he’d have to start with less-angry but equally opinionated video makers. So, he made sure he had plenty of bottled water and batteries for his personal fan before making his way to Arizona.
Spoony answered after a few knocks and stared at Boffo in dismay.
“No. No fucking way, man. I’ve already had more than enough encounters with Fucking Chuckles, and I don’t need to add any creepy clowns to my show.”
Boffo winced as the door was slammed in his face, and then sighed. It had been difficult enough just getting out here, and now he would already have to leave without being any closer to achieving his goals. Boffo grabbed his bag and turned, ready to depart, when the door opened again.
“Wait, please don’t go!” Boffo turned to find a man in scrubs and a white lab coat. “Please ignore Spoony-he’s always an asshole when he doesn’t get enough sleep. I’m Dr. Insano and I live here as well with my son. He absolutely loves clowns and he’d be thrilled to watch you put on a show. Would you please consider performing some of your tricks for him?”
Boffo smiled at the man and nodded. He always did love performing for children, even children that turned out to be small, spiky pink balls with humongous eyes. Nevertheless, Son of Insano was a child, and he laughed and trilled happily as Boffo performed magic tricks for him and twisted colorful balloons into different animals.
“Riki-tee!” SOI chirped as he hugged a blue rabbit-shaped balloon animal tightly.
“I knew he would enjoy this.” Boffo turned to thank Insano for allowing him to perform, but froze when he noticed the giant needle clenched in the doctor’s hand. “Oh, I hope this isn’t worrying you,” Insano said, stroking the needle gently as he walked closer and closer to the clown. “I was just hoping to take a few samples for my research… it shouldn’t hurt you too much.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boffo shook his head to clear the memories of escaping Insano’s lab from his mind (and was once again thankful that he had learned many magical escape techniques). He needed to stay positive if he was going to gain potential partners in spreading the good word about clowns.
Boffo decided to change tactics and work on impressing a more positive member of Channel Awesome. He’d selected CR, a friendly reviewer who was always speaking fondly about cartoons he loved and that deserved more recognition from audiences, and was hopeful that he would be sympathetic to the plight of clowns.
Boffo peered in the front window of CR’s house and spotted his target sitting on a couch with another reviewer, Suede, as they watched an animated movie on CR’s television. He smiled and reached into his bag before pulling out a cream pie. If there was one thing people loved to watch, it was other people getting hit with pies, and Boffo was sure he could make the two smile by covering himself in the whipped dessert.
Boffo knocked on the window to catch their attention and lifted the pie up over his head.
“Oh my God!” CR cried when he caught sight of the clown. “It’s a Killer Klown from outer space! And it’s going to attack us with a custard pie made of acid!”
“Not if I can help it!” Suede cried as he quickly stood up. He reached for his waist and unsheathed a gigantic sword before raising it up over his head. “No one else is going to die on my watch- hey, where’d he go?”
“I don’t know,” CR said, turning his gaze from the weapon back to window. “I think he’s gone.”
When they went outside to investigate, all the two could find was a smear of cream on the side of the house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boffo stood in complete and utter boredom as a chatty young woman with wings dashed about her bedroom pulling outfits from her closet, holding them up to his chest, and then throwing them aside as she dashed to pull off another set of clothes. He wasn’t sure at the moment whether this reaction was more or less irritating than the shouts of terror and threats on his life he usually received when he met someone.
“Oh, I think this would look just darling on you!” the Makeover Fairy squealed as she draped a powder blue tuxedo over his body. “A clown needs to have some color in his outfit, you know! Black, while stylish, is simply not whimsical enough!”
Boffo nodded and struggled not to roll his eyes. He had shown up at Team Nostalgia Chick’s place hours ago, hoping to impress one of the ladies with his face-painting skills, but the second the door was opened, his paintbrush had been snatched away by the perky fairy.
“Oh, silly dear,” she told Boffo with a wink. “I’m the one who does the face painting around here.” He still hadn’t recovered his brush, but he was starting to think it wasn’t worth waiting for.
“You know, maybe we should forget about clothes for the time being,” the Makeover Fairy said as she picked up her wand and pointed it at Boffo, smiling brightly. “I think we should focus on fixing that face of yours. Big red nose equals big red ‘no’ in my book, and that hair really needs some styling gel.”
Boffo decided that he could always buy more paintbrushes and reached for his magical escape powder. He tossed a handful at the girl and by the time the Makeover Fairy stopped coughing, he and his bag were gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boffo sighed as he walked down the street, hanging his head slightly. No matter how hard he tried, his efforts were always squashed, and he found himself with even more people who disliked, were apathetic to, or just wanted to change all clowns they met. Perhaps his mission was doomed to end in failure and no one would ever see clowns as people who loved trying to bring just a little bit of joy into the world.
Boffo walked over to the bus stop and set his bag down as he waited for the bus to come to take him back to his hotel room. Without really thinking about it, he pulled out a few colorful balls from his pocket and started juggling them, as he often did when he was lost in thought. He juggled for several minutes and wondered whether Burger King would consider hiring a clown mascot to replace that creepy king.
“Duuuuude! That is awesome!”
Boffo started from his thoughts and looked over to see a teenager wearing flannel and sunglasses watching him in awe. He smiled at the boy and pulled out three more balls from his pocket before effortlessly tossing them into the air to mingle with the others.
“Whoa! You are totally amazing!” The teen was further impressed by Boffo’s feats of magic, and his ability to paint a flaming skull holding a gun in its mouth on his cheek. “I look so boss now!” he shouted as he admired his appearance in a store window.
“90s Kid! There you are!” Boffo looked up as a young man in a brown hat and coat rushed over to the teen. “Where have you been?”
“I was watching this totally awesome clown-dude, Linkara,” 90s Kid replied as he gestured toward Boffo. “He can do all sorts of radical stuff!” The clown looked at the other man in surprise. There had been a Linkara on his list of Channel Awesome reviewers-could this be him?
Boffo quickly smiled at Linkara and offered him his business card.
“You’re Boffo the Clown, huh?” Linkara asked. Boffo nodded. “I’m a big fan of clowns myself,” Linkara continued as he further studied the card. “Are you looking for work? I do an Internet review show and-”
Linkara was cut off by Boffo lunging at him and pulling him into a tight hug. The comic lover look surprised, then chuckled.
“I guess that’s a yes, then. Ok, Boffo, come on back to my place and I’ll find something for you to do on my next episode.”
“All right, a new roommate!” 90s Kid cheered as Linkara picked up his bag for him. Boffo smiled gratefully at Linkara. At last, he would get his chance to show the world what being a clown was really about.