what guys want
My friend MR-W found this article, 10 Traits Men Look for in a Girlfriend. So I decided to see how I'm doing. I gave myself 8 out of 10. Not too bad. It's above average. However, in the dating world, you can't just be above average. You have to stand out.
So anyway, here's how I did. Overall, I possess many of the traits that guys are looking for. Unfortunately, I failed on the 2 most important ones. So I have some work to do.
10. She's independent. I think I am very independent. I kinda have to be, since I don't really have anyone to count on.
9. She's intelligent. I may not know about stocks or politics, or be good with directions, but I am intelligent. I can hold a conversation. Actually, just the other night I was talking to PG, this really hot guy
who I used to work with. He told me I am intelligent and ambitious (and NO I was not fishing for compliments--we were talking about someone else & he just said it. :) And he was sincere). He's always said that I was one of the only people at work that he enjoyed talking to. And did I mention, this guy is
hot?! He is 25, has an MBA, and is in law school now.
6. She respects you. Unless he gives me a reason to not respect him, I do.
5. She lets you be a man. We all have our favorite things. I would never make a guy go shopping with me if he didn't want to, nor would I make him miss a big game.
4. She's nagless. OK, I'm not perfect, but I try. I really don't think I nag that much.
3. She gets along with friends and family. Most parents like me. And I'm always up for meeting new people. I loved my ex's friend & his girlfriend. I miss them. That is one of the worst things about a breakup, you can't be friends with his friends anymore.
2. She loves you. When I meet the right guy, I will love him.
1. She makes you want to be a better man. This one was a little difficult but I feel I always supported my ex. I don't know if I necessarily made him want to be a better man, but I like to think we encouraged each other to be better people.
Ones I failed:
8. She's sexual. I won't go into details on this one. It's private.
7. She's beautiful. OK, this one is more my own bad self-esteem, but still. Most guys do not find me attractive. I know I need to lose weight. I think my ex might have thought I was pretty. He was at least attracted to me in some way. The ex before him said he was attracted to me and that he liked my eyes. And I've gotten some compliments on my boobs. But as for beautiful? I don't think so. I love how my one friend calls his girlfriends "adorable." I want some guy to call me adorable. Or pretty. Or just being beautiful to him. You know what I mean? I remember this one time when my ex & I were out with his friends. We were standing there holding hands and I looked up at him and thought to myself--'I can't believe this guy is here with me. We're together. I am the luckiest girl in the world.' OK, it's a bit cheesy. But I want some guy to look at me and think that about me.
So, there you go. Obviously I have a few things to work on but I think I'm on track. Now I need to go out and meet guys. I wish I had some friends to set me up with someone. My mom suggested to me and my brother (he's single as well) to go to church to meet people. Now, I realize that church is not about meeting people, it's about being closer to God (um, actually I don't really know technically why you are supposed to go) but even my one friend said going to temple is a great way to meet people. I really don't think this is the best option for me as I am not religious. Where else can I meet people?? I need ideas! Doesn't anyone know a really great single guy to set me up with?? I am willing to relocate!
That reminds me, since I've been so down about being single & all that, I haven't mentioned my job in quite awhile. Things are just as bad as ever. Recently, my supervisor took a 1/2 day and left the new girl in charge rather than me. It was quite humiliating and everyone noticed. I have always been in charge when she's not there. I have worked there over 5 years. This other girl has been there like 6 months. But, she is the "Golden Child" as MWK calls it. It's hard to maintain a positive attitude when you have to deal with this kind of crap.
Here's some random thoughts to finish out this post (as if it's not random enough).
*I go to a 24 hour gym with an indoor pool. I have been dying to go swimming for months. I think I'm going to start going on Friday nights after I get off work at the restaurant. No one wants to go out after work anymore, so I usually just go home. I highly doubt anyone will be swimming at midnight or 1am on a Friday night, so I shouldn't have to worry.
*I have gone shopping 2 days in a row and I have not bought anything! I cannot find what I am looking for. It's not like it's going to save me any money though--I'll just wait til the stores get the stuff in & then buy it.
*One thing I REALLY want, that I cannot have, is black knee-high boots. My calves are just too big. :P Maybe my trainer can suggest some exercises to make them leaner, or at least not any bigger.
So anyway, here's how I did. Overall, I possess many of the traits that guys are looking for. Unfortunately, I failed on the 2 most important ones. So I have some work to do.
10. She's independent. I think I am very independent. I kinda have to be, since I don't really have anyone to count on.
9. She's intelligent. I may not know about stocks or politics, or be good with directions, but I am intelligent. I can hold a conversation. Actually, just the other night I was talking to PG, this really hot guy
who I used to work with. He told me I am intelligent and ambitious (and NO I was not fishing for compliments--we were talking about someone else & he just said it. :) And he was sincere). He's always said that I was one of the only people at work that he enjoyed talking to. And did I mention, this guy is
hot?! He is 25, has an MBA, and is in law school now.
6. She respects you. Unless he gives me a reason to not respect him, I do.
5. She lets you be a man. We all have our favorite things. I would never make a guy go shopping with me if he didn't want to, nor would I make him miss a big game.
4. She's nagless. OK, I'm not perfect, but I try. I really don't think I nag that much.
3. She gets along with friends and family. Most parents like me. And I'm always up for meeting new people. I loved my ex's friend & his girlfriend. I miss them. That is one of the worst things about a breakup, you can't be friends with his friends anymore.
2. She loves you. When I meet the right guy, I will love him.
1. She makes you want to be a better man. This one was a little difficult but I feel I always supported my ex. I don't know if I necessarily made him want to be a better man, but I like to think we encouraged each other to be better people.
Ones I failed:
8. She's sexual. I won't go into details on this one. It's private.
7. She's beautiful. OK, this one is more my own bad self-esteem, but still. Most guys do not find me attractive. I know I need to lose weight. I think my ex might have thought I was pretty. He was at least attracted to me in some way. The ex before him said he was attracted to me and that he liked my eyes. And I've gotten some compliments on my boobs. But as for beautiful? I don't think so. I love how my one friend calls his girlfriends "adorable." I want some guy to call me adorable. Or pretty. Or just being beautiful to him. You know what I mean? I remember this one time when my ex & I were out with his friends. We were standing there holding hands and I looked up at him and thought to myself--'I can't believe this guy is here with me. We're together. I am the luckiest girl in the world.' OK, it's a bit cheesy. But I want some guy to look at me and think that about me.
So, there you go. Obviously I have a few things to work on but I think I'm on track. Now I need to go out and meet guys. I wish I had some friends to set me up with someone. My mom suggested to me and my brother (he's single as well) to go to church to meet people. Now, I realize that church is not about meeting people, it's about being closer to God (um, actually I don't really know technically why you are supposed to go) but even my one friend said going to temple is a great way to meet people. I really don't think this is the best option for me as I am not religious. Where else can I meet people?? I need ideas! Doesn't anyone know a really great single guy to set me up with?? I am willing to relocate!
That reminds me, since I've been so down about being single & all that, I haven't mentioned my job in quite awhile. Things are just as bad as ever. Recently, my supervisor took a 1/2 day and left the new girl in charge rather than me. It was quite humiliating and everyone noticed. I have always been in charge when she's not there. I have worked there over 5 years. This other girl has been there like 6 months. But, she is the "Golden Child" as MWK calls it. It's hard to maintain a positive attitude when you have to deal with this kind of crap.
Here's some random thoughts to finish out this post (as if it's not random enough).
*I go to a 24 hour gym with an indoor pool. I have been dying to go swimming for months. I think I'm going to start going on Friday nights after I get off work at the restaurant. No one wants to go out after work anymore, so I usually just go home. I highly doubt anyone will be swimming at midnight or 1am on a Friday night, so I shouldn't have to worry.
*I have gone shopping 2 days in a row and I have not bought anything! I cannot find what I am looking for. It's not like it's going to save me any money though--I'll just wait til the stores get the stuff in & then buy it.
*One thing I REALLY want, that I cannot have, is black knee-high boots. My calves are just too big. :P Maybe my trainer can suggest some exercises to make them leaner, or at least not any bigger.