[fic post] They've Seen Weirder
Title: They've Seen Weirder
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance/Humor
Pairings or Characters: Cas/Girl!Dean, Sam
Warnings: genderswap and silliness, followed by massive amounts of schmoop
Word Count: 915
Summary: Dean gets turned into a girl because the universe is apparently feeling antagonistic today. The universe would also like to inform him that a certain angel wants in his pants.
Author Notes: SORRY I AM SUCH SHIT AT TITLES. This has probably been written by everyone ever already, but yes. Please do not ask why. If you must blame anyone, I am pointing all ten of my fingers (and my toes) at aibari. This one's for you, bb.
They've Seen Weirder
"Dean!"
"What?"
"For the love of God, stop playing with them."
"Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?
"Yes. So very uncomfortable," Sam muttered miserably.
"They're just tits, dude--"
"On my brother. Can you understand why I would be a just a little bit freaked out about this?"
"We've seen weirder."
"Not really!" Sam practically shouted, before letting out a frustrated sigh and waving his hands around, as if he could physically bat away the crazy. "Where the hell is Cas?"
"Wait, you told Cas?" Dean squeaked, his now feminine voice reaching an octave he never could before.
"You told me not to tell Bobby, and there really isn't anyone else who can help," Sam pointed out.
"Yeah, but... what can Cas do?"
"I'm not sure if he can, y'know, fix you, but he can go get you a bra, at least."
"You sent Cas... to go lingerie shopping?"
"I wasn't going to do it, and I can't let you go out like that--"
"Cas! Lingerie shopping! Unsupervised!" Dean shrilled, making Sam wince.
"Dude, chill the nuts you don't have and relax. I'm sure it'll be fine."
Dean groaned and buried his face in his hands for a moment before he started rubbing at his cheeks. Sam rolled his eyes and mumbled, "What now?"
"My face is so smooth," Dean marveled, still stroking his face.
"You have ADD, don't you?"
"Shut up, Sasquatch."
"Whatever, Dude Looks Like A Lady."
"Hey, I am a lady."
Before Dean could further drive Sam crazy, there was suddenly a third person in the room and both brothers looked up to see Cas with a small bag in his left hand.
"I brought the items you requested," Cas said slowly after staring for a while.
"Thanks, Cas," Sam sighed, taking the bag as Cas held it out and tossing it at Dean's face. Dean grunted and pulled open the bag to look at what Cas had brought for him. "Just, please go put on some underwear-- wait, are you blushing?"
"What? No," Dean glared, closing the bag immediately.
"You totally are," Sam laughed before looking to Cas and realizing the angel was turning a little red, too. It took him a second or two before his eyes went wide as he stared at the bag in his brother's hands. "Oh. Oh. Okay, I'm gonna, um. Go."
And he promptly left, not even bothering to take a jacket in his haste.
The two of them now alone, Dean reopened the bag and stared down at the black, lacy, barely-there cloth of a bra and pair of underwear that he would normally be very happy to see -- and be taking off of someone else -- and grimaced.
"Why did you get me these? This is something a porn star would wear for a photo shoot," Dean mumbled, still staring into the bag.
"I... apologize. I did not know what to purchase. An attendant at the store inquired as to my relationship with the person I was buying for and suggested these."
Dean groaned and fell back on the bed. Cas frowned, upset that he had failed his task.
"I am sorry, Dean. I can go back and get you something else--"
"No, no, it's not that," Dean interrupted, waving his hand about dismissively, "It's just. Is it really that obvious?"
"Is what obvious, Dean?"
"The universe keeps telling me that you want to have sex with me, and everyone else is apparently aware of it. Encouraging it, even."
Cas suddenly went very angel!still, which made Dean even more uncomfortable. Cas had been acting less and less angel-like every day, and for him to suddenly revert back was more indication of something wrong than something right.
"So... is the universe right?" Dean asked up at the ceiling.
Cas didn't move and didn't say anything, but there was this guilty silence that filled the air, and Dean wasn't so oblivious that he couldn't figure out the answer. He pushed himself back up so he was looking at the angel, who appeared quite interested in a stain on the motel room's carpet.
"You do realize I'm normally a dude, don't you?"
"I love you. It does not matter your form, Dean," he answered, looking up from the carpet to give Dean one of his serious angel faces.
Dean's eyes widened and and he ran a hand through his pixie cut, gaping like a fish for a few seconds as he processed.
"Jesus, Cas," he breathed. He had kinda-sorta been expecting an answer like that, but it was still a pretty big shock. "That's a lot for a guy -- that's, uh, temporarily a chick -- to take in."
"I apologize. I didn't mean to--"
"Stop, stop. Don't apologize, just... Ah, fuck it," Dean growled, pushing off the bed and grabbing Cas by the trench coat. He'd lost three inches in the gender swapping, but he was still nearly eye-level with the angel when he pulled him into a kiss. Cas clearly had no idea what to do with his hands, so Dean helped him by placing them on his surprisingly curvy hips. When he pulled away for air, Cas didn't let go, keeping Dean tucked against him.
"This is the only time you get to be taller than me. Now, I'm gonna put on that bra, and then we are figuring out how to switch me back."
"Yes, Dean," Cas nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance/Humor
Pairings or Characters: Cas/Girl!Dean, Sam
Warnings: genderswap and silliness, followed by massive amounts of schmoop
Word Count: 915
Summary: Dean gets turned into a girl because the universe is apparently feeling antagonistic today. The universe would also like to inform him that a certain angel wants in his pants.
Author Notes: SORRY I AM SUCH SHIT AT TITLES. This has probably been written by everyone ever already, but yes. Please do not ask why. If you must blame anyone, I am pointing all ten of my fingers (and my toes) at aibari. This one's for you, bb.
They've Seen Weirder
"Dean!"
"What?"
"For the love of God, stop playing with them."
"Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?
"Yes. So very uncomfortable," Sam muttered miserably.
"They're just tits, dude--"
"On my brother. Can you understand why I would be a just a little bit freaked out about this?"
"We've seen weirder."
"Not really!" Sam practically shouted, before letting out a frustrated sigh and waving his hands around, as if he could physically bat away the crazy. "Where the hell is Cas?"
"Wait, you told Cas?" Dean squeaked, his now feminine voice reaching an octave he never could before.
"You told me not to tell Bobby, and there really isn't anyone else who can help," Sam pointed out.
"Yeah, but... what can Cas do?"
"I'm not sure if he can, y'know, fix you, but he can go get you a bra, at least."
"You sent Cas... to go lingerie shopping?"
"I wasn't going to do it, and I can't let you go out like that--"
"Cas! Lingerie shopping! Unsupervised!" Dean shrilled, making Sam wince.
"Dude, chill the nuts you don't have and relax. I'm sure it'll be fine."
Dean groaned and buried his face in his hands for a moment before he started rubbing at his cheeks. Sam rolled his eyes and mumbled, "What now?"
"My face is so smooth," Dean marveled, still stroking his face.
"You have ADD, don't you?"
"Shut up, Sasquatch."
"Whatever, Dude Looks Like A Lady."
"Hey, I am a lady."
Before Dean could further drive Sam crazy, there was suddenly a third person in the room and both brothers looked up to see Cas with a small bag in his left hand.
"I brought the items you requested," Cas said slowly after staring for a while.
"Thanks, Cas," Sam sighed, taking the bag as Cas held it out and tossing it at Dean's face. Dean grunted and pulled open the bag to look at what Cas had brought for him. "Just, please go put on some underwear-- wait, are you blushing?"
"What? No," Dean glared, closing the bag immediately.
"You totally are," Sam laughed before looking to Cas and realizing the angel was turning a little red, too. It took him a second or two before his eyes went wide as he stared at the bag in his brother's hands. "Oh. Oh. Okay, I'm gonna, um. Go."
And he promptly left, not even bothering to take a jacket in his haste.
The two of them now alone, Dean reopened the bag and stared down at the black, lacy, barely-there cloth of a bra and pair of underwear that he would normally be very happy to see -- and be taking off of someone else -- and grimaced.
"Why did you get me these? This is something a porn star would wear for a photo shoot," Dean mumbled, still staring into the bag.
"I... apologize. I did not know what to purchase. An attendant at the store inquired as to my relationship with the person I was buying for and suggested these."
Dean groaned and fell back on the bed. Cas frowned, upset that he had failed his task.
"I am sorry, Dean. I can go back and get you something else--"
"No, no, it's not that," Dean interrupted, waving his hand about dismissively, "It's just. Is it really that obvious?"
"Is what obvious, Dean?"
"The universe keeps telling me that you want to have sex with me, and everyone else is apparently aware of it. Encouraging it, even."
Cas suddenly went very angel!still, which made Dean even more uncomfortable. Cas had been acting less and less angel-like every day, and for him to suddenly revert back was more indication of something wrong than something right.
"So... is the universe right?" Dean asked up at the ceiling.
Cas didn't move and didn't say anything, but there was this guilty silence that filled the air, and Dean wasn't so oblivious that he couldn't figure out the answer. He pushed himself back up so he was looking at the angel, who appeared quite interested in a stain on the motel room's carpet.
"You do realize I'm normally a dude, don't you?"
"I love you. It does not matter your form, Dean," he answered, looking up from the carpet to give Dean one of his serious angel faces.
Dean's eyes widened and and he ran a hand through his pixie cut, gaping like a fish for a few seconds as he processed.
"Jesus, Cas," he breathed. He had kinda-sorta been expecting an answer like that, but it was still a pretty big shock. "That's a lot for a guy -- that's, uh, temporarily a chick -- to take in."
"I apologize. I didn't mean to--"
"Stop, stop. Don't apologize, just... Ah, fuck it," Dean growled, pushing off the bed and grabbing Cas by the trench coat. He'd lost three inches in the gender swapping, but he was still nearly eye-level with the angel when he pulled him into a kiss. Cas clearly had no idea what to do with his hands, so Dean helped him by placing them on his surprisingly curvy hips. When he pulled away for air, Cas didn't let go, keeping Dean tucked against him.
"This is the only time you get to be taller than me. Now, I'm gonna put on that bra, and then we are figuring out how to switch me back."
"Yes, Dean," Cas nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.