To each his time must come...
For the past few years, I've been helping to care for my 74 year old sister in law and her husband. During the summer she moved to North Carolina to be with her daughter, and I breathed a sigh of relief until she called saying she was unhappy and moved back in October. Since then, I've done her shopping and helped write bills as well as popping in once a week to check on them. She is estranged from both of her children and has pretty much no real family to speak of.
Today, while Kate and I were at IKEA in Pittsburgh, my cell phone rang with an odd number I didn't recognize. It was the oldest daughter. She said that her mom had passed away earlier today. Her husband was trying to talk to her and she was unresponsive so he called 911. She was gone. At least she went peacefully and without pain.
Yesterday I spent almost 8 hours with her Christmas shopping. She seemed more tired than usual but I just figured her heart was giving her trouble and that she was ok. She had an Aortic Aneurysm two years ago and should not have lived through that. We had a very good day yesterday and we talked a lot. I think that she was very happy when I left her house yesterday afternoon. I'm glad I gave her a good day. She deserved a little bit of happiness for a change.
I feel very badly though. I haven't cried yet although when I pick up the daughter at the airport tonight I think it will turn into a blubber fest. There are so many pieces to pick up. What is going to happen to the husband who can't care for himself? If I hadn't been in Pittsburgh, I'd have had to go sit with him until she got in tonight. As far as I know, Protective Services took him from the hospital today. She has a dog and a cat that I can't take in. I think I have someone who will take the cat. One of her friends took Sarah in when she was in the hospital before. I think she will take her. Zackie though, I don't know. I think my brother in law in California would take him in. I know I can't take either of them.
So many things to think about. She just bought a brand new condo and moved into it in October. She bought 2k worth of new appliances last week. I think she had her final plans already taken care of so that should not be too much of an issue. I just don't know how long the daughter is going to stay and take care of things. I'm sure I'm going to be called upon again.
I can't imagine what would divide a mother and a daughter. I just can't fathom it as I'm so close to both my mom and my daughter.
I've done right by this woman, much more than her immediate family has. I didn't want to have to care for someone else's Mom, but I did. Someone had to. During the drive back from Pitt today, Katelyn told me that I had done a very good thing and should be proud of what I had done for her. I feel like I could have done more. She was a lonely old woman who was miserable, and had put herself in that spot. I hope her spirit finds peace and solace now.
Goddess Bless You Nancy. You deserve it.
Nancy 12/22/32-12/17/06
Today, while Kate and I were at IKEA in Pittsburgh, my cell phone rang with an odd number I didn't recognize. It was the oldest daughter. She said that her mom had passed away earlier today. Her husband was trying to talk to her and she was unresponsive so he called 911. She was gone. At least she went peacefully and without pain.
Yesterday I spent almost 8 hours with her Christmas shopping. She seemed more tired than usual but I just figured her heart was giving her trouble and that she was ok. She had an Aortic Aneurysm two years ago and should not have lived through that. We had a very good day yesterday and we talked a lot. I think that she was very happy when I left her house yesterday afternoon. I'm glad I gave her a good day. She deserved a little bit of happiness for a change.
I feel very badly though. I haven't cried yet although when I pick up the daughter at the airport tonight I think it will turn into a blubber fest. There are so many pieces to pick up. What is going to happen to the husband who can't care for himself? If I hadn't been in Pittsburgh, I'd have had to go sit with him until she got in tonight. As far as I know, Protective Services took him from the hospital today. She has a dog and a cat that I can't take in. I think I have someone who will take the cat. One of her friends took Sarah in when she was in the hospital before. I think she will take her. Zackie though, I don't know. I think my brother in law in California would take him in. I know I can't take either of them.
So many things to think about. She just bought a brand new condo and moved into it in October. She bought 2k worth of new appliances last week. I think she had her final plans already taken care of so that should not be too much of an issue. I just don't know how long the daughter is going to stay and take care of things. I'm sure I'm going to be called upon again.
I can't imagine what would divide a mother and a daughter. I just can't fathom it as I'm so close to both my mom and my daughter.
I've done right by this woman, much more than her immediate family has. I didn't want to have to care for someone else's Mom, but I did. Someone had to. During the drive back from Pitt today, Katelyn told me that I had done a very good thing and should be proud of what I had done for her. I feel like I could have done more. She was a lonely old woman who was miserable, and had put herself in that spot. I hope her spirit finds peace and solace now.
Goddess Bless You Nancy. You deserve it.
Nancy 12/22/32-12/17/06