(no subject)
I'm so mixed up lately. I had a very good day Wednesday. I went out to dinner with Emily and we got a chance to catch up. Then later Jeffrey and Jennifer met us at the movie theater to see Little Black Book which I loved. Afterwards Jeffrey took me home and I was able to really open up about things. The next morning Jeffrey came over to take me out, it was nice to wake up and him be there. We watched Kill Bill Vol 2 that night, Uma Thurmann is such a badass, fantastic movie. Yesterday the weather was gorgeous so that put me in a good mood. My Mom and I took a long walk and got a chance to really talk which was nice. Melissa turned 18 yesterday, when she gets back from her trip I need to give her her gifts. I worked out with my sister today and went swimming in our pool. The family went out to eat at this restaraunt in Georgia tonight. It was a really cool place, it was called the Log Cabin, out in the country and it had great southern food and a live band; the atmosphere of the place was really nice. I got a call from a friend I hadn't spoken to in awhile and everything seems to be alright with her which I was so glad to hear. Everything has been so casual lately, nothing much going on at all. When there is nothing going on all I do is think and when I think I tend to over-analyze and then begin to worry about things, I'm such a weirdo. Now that we are older the decisions we make really matter and if we mess up it's a big deal. I wish I was smarter about certain decisions that I've made lately. The consequences are not worth it anymore and we are the only ones who can fix it. Leaving for school is going to be a good thing. This summer was awesome but now it's over and I've just kinda been floating around these past two weeks. I've been anticipating everything and I'm sick of thinking about it, I just want it to happen. At the same time though I want to embrace the time. Leaving him is going to be one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do, if not the hardest.
I just hope that my fears don't come true.
I just hope that my fears don't come true.