Trivial Things (aka Hair)
So I've officially decided, after much facebook photo study, that I do look better with longer hair. Sigh. So much for my dream of being like all the amazingly gorgeous short-haired girls that I stare at with creepy envy. That having been said, now I have to wait forever while my hair grows out again, god damn! If only I could snap my fingers and have it be longer.
However, in spite of the fact that I have decided on a length, I can't decide on a color. I think I look better with a reddish brown thing? I also think I actually like my natural color? I do not know? Also, I can't decide if I should re-dye my now faded pink streak, or dye it a different crazy color, or try to get it to a normal place. I don't think making it normal would work though, because it's bleached underneath and probably wouldn't do what I wanted it to do. Opinions? Questions? Comments? This is all a lot more complicated than I would like.
I've also noticed that everything I write comes out in exactly the same style, for the most part. Essays, naturally, are slightly more formal (but honestly not by much, mostly just in the level of language used). Even personal and friendly emails (or emotional ones) frequently come out sounding formal and essay-like. I have theories as to why this is true, but they're not very interesting.
I always just feel like I'm running around in circles, or trapped. Always. Even when it comes to things like cleaning my room. It's literally driving me crazy and I can't even accurately describe the feeling or pinpoint it and so I can't tell anyone about it or figure out what to do. I feel like this feeling has always run my life and kept me from doing things, but I don't even really know what it is. It's like a blockade that keeps me from being able to sort things out in my head, put things in order, realize what needs to be done and how to do it. I don't know if this makes me sound crazy or not. It feels like smashing repeatedly into invisible hedges. Yes, hedges.
EDIT: Also, I've been looking through old photos of me on facebook and it's depressing how much thinner I was in high school. I think it mostly had to do with having no time to eat (never ate breakfast, hated the lunches I brought so didn't eat them, did ever really have time for dinner) but seriously, I would give a LOT to be that thin again.
However, in spite of the fact that I have decided on a length, I can't decide on a color. I think I look better with a reddish brown thing? I also think I actually like my natural color? I do not know? Also, I can't decide if I should re-dye my now faded pink streak, or dye it a different crazy color, or try to get it to a normal place. I don't think making it normal would work though, because it's bleached underneath and probably wouldn't do what I wanted it to do. Opinions? Questions? Comments? This is all a lot more complicated than I would like.
I've also noticed that everything I write comes out in exactly the same style, for the most part. Essays, naturally, are slightly more formal (but honestly not by much, mostly just in the level of language used). Even personal and friendly emails (or emotional ones) frequently come out sounding formal and essay-like. I have theories as to why this is true, but they're not very interesting.
I always just feel like I'm running around in circles, or trapped. Always. Even when it comes to things like cleaning my room. It's literally driving me crazy and I can't even accurately describe the feeling or pinpoint it and so I can't tell anyone about it or figure out what to do. I feel like this feeling has always run my life and kept me from doing things, but I don't even really know what it is. It's like a blockade that keeps me from being able to sort things out in my head, put things in order, realize what needs to be done and how to do it. I don't know if this makes me sound crazy or not. It feels like smashing repeatedly into invisible hedges. Yes, hedges.
EDIT: Also, I've been looking through old photos of me on facebook and it's depressing how much thinner I was in high school. I think it mostly had to do with having no time to eat (never ate breakfast, hated the lunches I brought so didn't eat them, did ever really have time for dinner) but seriously, I would give a LOT to be that thin again.