Church/Day Before My Bday
Church/Day Before Birthday:
As many of you know, I've been under the weather the past couple of days. My problem, I know, was that I worked too much. For me, complaining that I didn't work enough, this whole past weekend kicked my ass. I just exhausted myself. Sunday and Monday were the worst days.
I got home Saturday night after making lots of money, and secretly hoped that Dale would call in the morning, so I wouldn't have to go to church. I set my alarm for 9:15am so I could get up and take a shower just in case, she didn't call. I swear everytime I set my alarm, I don't get any sleep, cause I'm afraid of not waking up in time. Anyways, after 5 hours of sleep, I woke up thinking that I was just going to call Dale and say that I wasn't going to church. I stumbled out to the phone and picked it, and turned it on. I saw that the sun was shining bright, and put the phone back down. I said the hell with it. Just get going in the shower.
All three of us got there in time for me to go downstairs, get my choir robe on, and sing through the athem. It was a normal service, and what was even better was that it was out of the LBW (Lutheran Book of Worship). I memorized that service, so I didn't even have the book with me. The sermon started, and I know I'm supposed to pay attention, but I didn't. I was off thinking about why I was even at church.
I asked myself why I am here? A voice answered, to sing. Is that all? Yep. Ouch... Sometimes, I just need to hear the truth once and awhile.
The sun was shining through our stain-glass windows. It was the first time that I really looked at the windows. They are beautiful, but at the same time, they repulsed me. Our huge front window, is a picture of Jesus welcoming us and inviting us into the building. Why? You can't find God in a building. We have 8 other stain-glass windows. On the left side are depictions of the four saints-Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I could see the window with Matthew the best, and that is when I became repulsed. Why were showing them. They were only 4 ordinary people who happened to write down what the Church considered the most important "facts" about Jesus's life. Though these Gospels weren't written until 30-40 years after Jesus died. The other 4 windows are depictions of the 4 Great People-Solomon, David, Moses, and Abraham. for some reason these windows don't bother me as much. Maybe, cause they are all historically correct.
The talk on JETalk recently has been what it means to be a Christian. Even Megan has been talking about her own beliefs and ideals. This got me thinking about myself. What do I believe? I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but I don't believe in much. Is that sad? I dunno.
Two things I can say for sure without a doubt. Yes, I believe in God (Higher Being). I believe in the Other Side (Not heaven and not hell). All others...well...
I'm not going to tell you why I believe in what I listed above. Cause why defend what I believe. I'm not also going to tell you that you have to agree or disagree with me on things that I'm going to say coming up. This has just been on my mind for the past couple of days.
What does it mean to be a Christian? Some people will answer that it means that you will be saved if you believe in Jesus Christ the Son of God. Ok, but what if I don't believe in the fact that I need to be saved from anything? If I get to go to Heaven for believing in Jesus, then why should I if I've already come to the conclusion that there is no heaven or hell. I know there is The Other Side, but whether it is Heaven or Hell...well I don't think so. When I cross the divide, then I'll see if I was right. I want to be able to see my family and friends that crossed in my lifetime, and I want to be able to continue my lessons, so maybe I don't have to keep coming back to Earth. Sure, I know there was a Jesus born to Joseph and Mary of Nazareth. Historically that is accurate. As far as his divination, that I'm not buying. Even the four Gospels can't agree on when the divination of Jesus happened. John says that he knew it from birth. Matthew and Luke say he was transfigured on the mountain in front of Peter. So what we really needed was Peter to write a Gospel, but he didn't or if he did it 1) Hasn't been found, or 2) wasn't put in the Bible.
This brings me to what our Bible says and what books should of been included and not included. The Gospel of Matthew was written between 80-87 AD. It contained the geneology of Jesus back to Abraham. It then explains the miraculous birth of Jesus as a virgin birth. It's the only one of the gospels to continually make connections to the Old Testament. The Gospel of Mark was written between 66-70 AD. There is no birth story and starts when Jesus was already an adult. It talks about John the Baptist coming to Jesus to confess his sins. Luke was written in between 83-89 AD. First it accounts for the miraculous birth of John the Baptist, then goes to tell the story of Jesus. The book is addressed to Theophilus. It also tells more of the geneology of Jesus all the back to Adam where the idea of a World Citizen comes in. Luke is only part 1 of 2 volumes. The second volume is actually Acts. The Gospel of John was written in the 90's. The whole book is in code where Jesus is referred to as The Light of World, and Logos-Word. There is not even a birth story in this Gospel.
Do you know how different it was back then to become a Christian than it is today. Today we must accept the Sacrements, confess our faith in the Triune God (Father, Son, and Holy Ghost/Spirit), and go through rituals. Back then all you had to do was not have sex, eat no animals that had blood in them, and don't eat things that were offered to idols. Even the whole thing about being circumsized, wasn't that big of factor. Well, I should rephrase that. It was big enough for Peter and Paul to get into a major fight over, but it was soon dropped.
Other people say that in order to be a Christian you have to accept what Paul wrote down in the Bible for us Christians to follow. Okay, I will buy that. Because there are certain books of the Bible that Paul did write. But...not all of the books said to be authored by Paul were actually written by him. The only books actually written by him were 1 Thessalonians (50 AD), 1 Corinthians (54-55AD), 2 Corinthians (54-55AD), Galations (56AD), Romans (56-57AD), Philippians (61AD), and Philemon (62AD). Notice that all these books were written before the Gospels. If I were to believe anything in the Bible, these would be the books that I trust.
We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.
I believe in god, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
Ever notice in both of the Creeds that these are the shortest verses? It's like we already know this, so we don't have to explain this part of it. I noticed something on Sunday. Since it was a celebration-Transfiguration of the Lord, we said the Nicene Creed. I said the first part of the Creed which is We Believe... That is the part that I truly believed. Then after that I kinda just trailed off and went into auto mode. I think I do the same thing when I recite the Apostles Creed. Say the first I Believe... and then trail off. I believe that this earth was created....whether by the Big Bang or by some other way, it was still created by some higher power. There are things beyond what I see, hear, feel, taste, and smell. I've witnessed it myself in so many ways, so again I have no problem believing in things I can't see.
We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
You all know how the rest goes. These are the longest points of the Creeds. Here they must explain and justify why you should believe in Jesus. But I don't believe that Jesus is the only Son. My father, brother, and any man on this earth is a Son of God. We are all God's children, and then just as equally there are Daughters of God. Why should a man be above a woman? I'm not a feminist, but I believe in equality. Even though, I know it's not the way it is. I'm not a big fighter on the whole thing. There is duality in everything. If there is Good and Evil, then there is also Man and Woman, God and Goddess, Light and Dark, and Action and Reaction. At the end of the Son part of the Creeds it says, He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I thought that only God could judge. A "son" by any means that he is still younger, inexperienced, immature, and any other word that could go in there to just that he just is not as good as a "father". That is why God is almighty. He can do everything.
We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver or life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the prophets.
I believe in the Holy Spirit.
That is where the Creeds should end. The rest of them is the Church's way to pass its Dogma onto you. Telling you what you should and should not believe. How come they had to be involved anyways. These are Creeds saying what you believe in and why. Why do you have to believe in a Church. Or a demonination. I'm lost as to who wrote the Creeds, it was a good idea...but the end should of stopped with justifying why to believe in the Holy Spirit. Cause I don't see what the rest of the Creeds have to do with the Holy Spirit. Only the Nicene touches on the Holy Spirit briefly.
I was baptized a Christian, but I really didn't have a choice; I was only 2 months old. When I received my First Communion, it was the thing to do, or I couldn't advance in my Sunday School. I didn't know any better. I wasn't Confirmed until I was a senior in high school. In that case, I was happy to get it over and done because I should of been confirmed at a younger age, but again I didn't really care, cause it was expected of me to become a full member of the Church. I have always been a follower.
If what I've said up til now, means that I'm not a Christian anymore...then so be it. I want to go into something with my eyes wide open. I believe in God and in my heart I know that is enough for me. Jesus is not God, at least in my eyes, so I'm not bothered with that. I've lived the past couple of years knowing that I believe in 1/3 of the Triune God, and I'm okay with that. God seems to be fine with it also. I don't feel that I'm missing anything in my life as far as my spiritual life. I'm constantly learning lessons, and that is all that matters to me at this point. I'm spiritual with as many people as I can be. I try to be nice, and for the most part, I think I've succeeded.
Will I still go to church? Yep. Why? Because I love to sing about God and love to just sing in general. It's one of the few places where everyone can sing. I'll still go because my adopted family is there. Will I go through the motions? Yeah, prolly. Will I continue to get Communion? Yeah, though it doesn't mean much to me. It never has. Will I burn in Hell? Nope...remember I don't believe in Hell, and there is only a Hell if you believe in it. I have a good idea that God understands what I'm all about. After all, he created me and knows my heart better than I do. I have had no occasion where not to believe in a God, so as long as I know that He knows I believe in Him, I think I'm alright. :)
As many of you know, I've been under the weather the past couple of days. My problem, I know, was that I worked too much. For me, complaining that I didn't work enough, this whole past weekend kicked my ass. I just exhausted myself. Sunday and Monday were the worst days.
I got home Saturday night after making lots of money, and secretly hoped that Dale would call in the morning, so I wouldn't have to go to church. I set my alarm for 9:15am so I could get up and take a shower just in case, she didn't call. I swear everytime I set my alarm, I don't get any sleep, cause I'm afraid of not waking up in time. Anyways, after 5 hours of sleep, I woke up thinking that I was just going to call Dale and say that I wasn't going to church. I stumbled out to the phone and picked it, and turned it on. I saw that the sun was shining bright, and put the phone back down. I said the hell with it. Just get going in the shower.
All three of us got there in time for me to go downstairs, get my choir robe on, and sing through the athem. It was a normal service, and what was even better was that it was out of the LBW (Lutheran Book of Worship). I memorized that service, so I didn't even have the book with me. The sermon started, and I know I'm supposed to pay attention, but I didn't. I was off thinking about why I was even at church.
I asked myself why I am here? A voice answered, to sing. Is that all? Yep. Ouch... Sometimes, I just need to hear the truth once and awhile.
The sun was shining through our stain-glass windows. It was the first time that I really looked at the windows. They are beautiful, but at the same time, they repulsed me. Our huge front window, is a picture of Jesus welcoming us and inviting us into the building. Why? You can't find God in a building. We have 8 other stain-glass windows. On the left side are depictions of the four saints-Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I could see the window with Matthew the best, and that is when I became repulsed. Why were showing them. They were only 4 ordinary people who happened to write down what the Church considered the most important "facts" about Jesus's life. Though these Gospels weren't written until 30-40 years after Jesus died. The other 4 windows are depictions of the 4 Great People-Solomon, David, Moses, and Abraham. for some reason these windows don't bother me as much. Maybe, cause they are all historically correct.
The talk on JETalk recently has been what it means to be a Christian. Even Megan has been talking about her own beliefs and ideals. This got me thinking about myself. What do I believe? I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but I don't believe in much. Is that sad? I dunno.
Two things I can say for sure without a doubt. Yes, I believe in God (Higher Being). I believe in the Other Side (Not heaven and not hell). All others...well...
I'm not going to tell you why I believe in what I listed above. Cause why defend what I believe. I'm not also going to tell you that you have to agree or disagree with me on things that I'm going to say coming up. This has just been on my mind for the past couple of days.
What does it mean to be a Christian? Some people will answer that it means that you will be saved if you believe in Jesus Christ the Son of God. Ok, but what if I don't believe in the fact that I need to be saved from anything? If I get to go to Heaven for believing in Jesus, then why should I if I've already come to the conclusion that there is no heaven or hell. I know there is The Other Side, but whether it is Heaven or Hell...well I don't think so. When I cross the divide, then I'll see if I was right. I want to be able to see my family and friends that crossed in my lifetime, and I want to be able to continue my lessons, so maybe I don't have to keep coming back to Earth. Sure, I know there was a Jesus born to Joseph and Mary of Nazareth. Historically that is accurate. As far as his divination, that I'm not buying. Even the four Gospels can't agree on when the divination of Jesus happened. John says that he knew it from birth. Matthew and Luke say he was transfigured on the mountain in front of Peter. So what we really needed was Peter to write a Gospel, but he didn't or if he did it 1) Hasn't been found, or 2) wasn't put in the Bible.
This brings me to what our Bible says and what books should of been included and not included. The Gospel of Matthew was written between 80-87 AD. It contained the geneology of Jesus back to Abraham. It then explains the miraculous birth of Jesus as a virgin birth. It's the only one of the gospels to continually make connections to the Old Testament. The Gospel of Mark was written between 66-70 AD. There is no birth story and starts when Jesus was already an adult. It talks about John the Baptist coming to Jesus to confess his sins. Luke was written in between 83-89 AD. First it accounts for the miraculous birth of John the Baptist, then goes to tell the story of Jesus. The book is addressed to Theophilus. It also tells more of the geneology of Jesus all the back to Adam where the idea of a World Citizen comes in. Luke is only part 1 of 2 volumes. The second volume is actually Acts. The Gospel of John was written in the 90's. The whole book is in code where Jesus is referred to as The Light of World, and Logos-Word. There is not even a birth story in this Gospel.
Do you know how different it was back then to become a Christian than it is today. Today we must accept the Sacrements, confess our faith in the Triune God (Father, Son, and Holy Ghost/Spirit), and go through rituals. Back then all you had to do was not have sex, eat no animals that had blood in them, and don't eat things that were offered to idols. Even the whole thing about being circumsized, wasn't that big of factor. Well, I should rephrase that. It was big enough for Peter and Paul to get into a major fight over, but it was soon dropped.
Other people say that in order to be a Christian you have to accept what Paul wrote down in the Bible for us Christians to follow. Okay, I will buy that. Because there are certain books of the Bible that Paul did write. But...not all of the books said to be authored by Paul were actually written by him. The only books actually written by him were 1 Thessalonians (50 AD), 1 Corinthians (54-55AD), 2 Corinthians (54-55AD), Galations (56AD), Romans (56-57AD), Philippians (61AD), and Philemon (62AD). Notice that all these books were written before the Gospels. If I were to believe anything in the Bible, these would be the books that I trust.
We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.
I believe in god, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
Ever notice in both of the Creeds that these are the shortest verses? It's like we already know this, so we don't have to explain this part of it. I noticed something on Sunday. Since it was a celebration-Transfiguration of the Lord, we said the Nicene Creed. I said the first part of the Creed which is We Believe... That is the part that I truly believed. Then after that I kinda just trailed off and went into auto mode. I think I do the same thing when I recite the Apostles Creed. Say the first I Believe... and then trail off. I believe that this earth was created....whether by the Big Bang or by some other way, it was still created by some higher power. There are things beyond what I see, hear, feel, taste, and smell. I've witnessed it myself in so many ways, so again I have no problem believing in things I can't see.
We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
You all know how the rest goes. These are the longest points of the Creeds. Here they must explain and justify why you should believe in Jesus. But I don't believe that Jesus is the only Son. My father, brother, and any man on this earth is a Son of God. We are all God's children, and then just as equally there are Daughters of God. Why should a man be above a woman? I'm not a feminist, but I believe in equality. Even though, I know it's not the way it is. I'm not a big fighter on the whole thing. There is duality in everything. If there is Good and Evil, then there is also Man and Woman, God and Goddess, Light and Dark, and Action and Reaction. At the end of the Son part of the Creeds it says, He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I thought that only God could judge. A "son" by any means that he is still younger, inexperienced, immature, and any other word that could go in there to just that he just is not as good as a "father". That is why God is almighty. He can do everything.
We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver or life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the prophets.
I believe in the Holy Spirit.
That is where the Creeds should end. The rest of them is the Church's way to pass its Dogma onto you. Telling you what you should and should not believe. How come they had to be involved anyways. These are Creeds saying what you believe in and why. Why do you have to believe in a Church. Or a demonination. I'm lost as to who wrote the Creeds, it was a good idea...but the end should of stopped with justifying why to believe in the Holy Spirit. Cause I don't see what the rest of the Creeds have to do with the Holy Spirit. Only the Nicene touches on the Holy Spirit briefly.
I was baptized a Christian, but I really didn't have a choice; I was only 2 months old. When I received my First Communion, it was the thing to do, or I couldn't advance in my Sunday School. I didn't know any better. I wasn't Confirmed until I was a senior in high school. In that case, I was happy to get it over and done because I should of been confirmed at a younger age, but again I didn't really care, cause it was expected of me to become a full member of the Church. I have always been a follower.
If what I've said up til now, means that I'm not a Christian anymore...then so be it. I want to go into something with my eyes wide open. I believe in God and in my heart I know that is enough for me. Jesus is not God, at least in my eyes, so I'm not bothered with that. I've lived the past couple of years knowing that I believe in 1/3 of the Triune God, and I'm okay with that. God seems to be fine with it also. I don't feel that I'm missing anything in my life as far as my spiritual life. I'm constantly learning lessons, and that is all that matters to me at this point. I'm spiritual with as many people as I can be. I try to be nice, and for the most part, I think I've succeeded.
Will I still go to church? Yep. Why? Because I love to sing about God and love to just sing in general. It's one of the few places where everyone can sing. I'll still go because my adopted family is there. Will I go through the motions? Yeah, prolly. Will I continue to get Communion? Yeah, though it doesn't mean much to me. It never has. Will I burn in Hell? Nope...remember I don't believe in Hell, and there is only a Hell if you believe in it. I have a good idea that God understands what I'm all about. After all, he created me and knows my heart better than I do. I have had no occasion where not to believe in a God, so as long as I know that He knows I believe in Him, I think I'm alright. :)