(no subject)
real life:
i've been in wilmington, north carolina all summer. it's hot and sticky and i love it. i live on the beach and wake up to the ocean every day. some days good, some train wrecks. today, train wreck. but that's irrelevant. some days i wake up and the sky and sand and water and grass and clouds are so beautiful it makes me want to cry. but i don't. i've shut off my emotions this summer, except in my dreams. it's hard to affect me. i'm getting semi-tan and close to those around me, but i'm getting a little homesick these days. i can't believe i can be homesick for flat, corn-covered indiana when i live here, but i am. and i miss my boy. and that confuses the shit out of me. a few weeks ago i was ready to burn all bridges, break all ties, and say goodbye forever. and he was ready to get down on one knee. i haven't burnt anything, and i don't really want to, but something's still there. it's nagging at my brain. are we even right for each other? can we survive a "break?" i don't know the answer to these questions. all i know is that i don't know what the crap i'm doing. i go back august 2nd. and then we'll see.
i've been in wilmington, north carolina all summer. it's hot and sticky and i love it. i live on the beach and wake up to the ocean every day. some days good, some train wrecks. today, train wreck. but that's irrelevant. some days i wake up and the sky and sand and water and grass and clouds are so beautiful it makes me want to cry. but i don't. i've shut off my emotions this summer, except in my dreams. it's hard to affect me. i'm getting semi-tan and close to those around me, but i'm getting a little homesick these days. i can't believe i can be homesick for flat, corn-covered indiana when i live here, but i am. and i miss my boy. and that confuses the shit out of me. a few weeks ago i was ready to burn all bridges, break all ties, and say goodbye forever. and he was ready to get down on one knee. i haven't burnt anything, and i don't really want to, but something's still there. it's nagging at my brain. are we even right for each other? can we survive a "break?" i don't know the answer to these questions. all i know is that i don't know what the crap i'm doing. i go back august 2nd. and then we'll see.
