Comments | oceaneyed8: Pushing Daisies' Drought Isn't So Bad...

oceaneyed8

Pushing Daisies' Drought Isn't So Bad...

Feb 29, 2008 17:51

Holy Crapola. My first fic, ever. For pd_playtime's second challenge. I really hope this meets the standards of decent smutty fic. It's not been betaed, but I did my best to proofread. I wanna copy edit, for Christ's sake.

Title: Le Lezioni (The Lessons)
Pairing: Ned/Chuck
Rating: Hard R.
Warnings: Not much, but I do like the word "cunt." Oh, and a bit ( Read more... )

pushing daisies, fic!, my first time!

Comments 7

elsie February 29 2008, 23:50:26 UTC

I get first comment! And that's for multiple reasons, but mainly because pd_playtime hasn't posted the challenge masterlist yet. Winz!

I think my favorite overall characteristic of this story is the waves of sweetness and then humour and then sadness coming one after the other; it so perfectly shows how complex the whole situation is, and how much a headspin it must feel. Also ... I am monumentally pleased with myself for knowing (I think; didn't grab my Italian dictionary) what that last Italian phrase meant! D'awww, the who story is so adorable without being vapid!

Two morsels of advice: The first sentence had me confused for a stupidly (due to my own stupidity, that is) long while because of its structure. It sounded like he actually WAS doing her from behind and she wished he could grab her neck at the same time, and I thought, "I have no idea of the porny conventions in this fandom ... is she going to reveal some way for them to fuck prophylactically??" So I'd suggest rearranging it to read: Chuck wishes Ned could tip back her head and ( ... )

oceaneyed8 February 29 2008, 23:57:31 UTC

Chu mean like thisa?

Thanks for the wonderful love, dear. It makes my day that you liked it, Miss Queen of Smut. You were the one to get me really into it, ya know. :)

elsie March 1 2008, 00:00:41 UTC

I accept full responsibility for the consequences of my actions. *nodnod*

starsfadein March 10 2008, 03:44:47 UTC

Which means the lack of touch should be compensated with notes or dirty talk or teasing sights, but the problem remains undressed (You mean unaddressed, Chuck mentally corrects).

LOVELY!

oceaneyed8 March 25 2008, 14:56:12 UTC

After two weeks without internet, I finally get to comment back! Thanks so much for reading, and I'm glad you found it lovely! Even better that you put the line you liked.

anonymous March 28 2008, 16:09:03 UTC

I really enjoyed this...it was humorous and bittersweet at the same time. Good work :)

oceaneyed8 March 29 2008, 15:36:34 UTC

That's what I was aiming for, so good thing it came across! :) Thanks so much for commenting!