Yikes!!
I suppose I should let people know that I'm not living in Elwood anymore but am now with Dan, Wendi & Nathan in Chadstone. Sorry to anyone who I haven't been in touch with lately (which is everyone) - moving all of your crap to two different locations really sucks! Half of it is in boxes under Dad's pool table and the other half is being inserted into Dan's space :)
I'm settling in well and nobody has hit me over the head or anything yet so I guess I'm not annoying anybody :) I did miss my Dan very much last night though, I had all sorts of trouble while he was in Frankston DJing at some metal night... it was quite action packed really...
You see, it all started with the light. Not the light of dawn, of birth or anything too earth shattering, but just a bedside light. It's one of those long desklamp tube things and I had it tilted onto it's side poking out from the bookcase next to my bed so I could read. An unnatural stance for a desk lamp I will admit, but that's the only way I could get it to poke out the right way.
Well the other night I was reading a fantastic book in bed and noticed a sound coming from it... a wrong sound... the sound of something mechanical struggling and zapping... but being in a particularly lazy mood I ignored it until it went away and kept on reading.
The next night when I was about to go to bed the same bedside light didn't turn on. My mind turned over wondering what on earth could be wrong? Dan answered me from his side of the bed, looking at the light tube with a slightly amused expression.
"Sam, I don't think that tube's supposed to be all blackened like that"
Ooh yes look how it's burned, look how the 'top' half of my light is black, gradually recovering and starting to look like a normal light tube again down the 'bottom'. Ooh indeed.
So. The light has changed, not me, which means that I'm still my lazy self. Therefore it shouldn't surprise anyone to know that I left the light there to be moved another time, any time, just not now.
Cut to last night. It's dark, everybody's out so it's quiet and I've been pottering around. I'm now lying in bed all alone reading, for quite some time (still reading a great book). It's nice and quiet, peaceful even. I haven't used the broken light - see how smart I am? I have used another light instead. I stretch out on the bed, turn the light off and close my eyes.
Then I open them for some reason and there is AN ALIEN IN MY ROOM. MY BROKEN LIGHT IS GLOWING. GLOWING!!!!!
Silently, softly, accusingly, it stood up still and strong in the darkness. It was fully luminescent and because I hadn't moved it at all it was still standing straight up and down about 30cms from my face, with the luminosity gradually dissipating towards the bottom of the light, the top gleaming like fucking Chernobyl and the lightshade is making the entire effect glow eerily even more. It's right in front of me and it's... it's somehow looking at me.
So am I going to die now from some nasty radiation poisoning or what?!?!?
I close my eyes again. I'm tired, just ignore it. But I CAN'T. It's fucking GLOWING AT ME. The only thing that is saving me from feeling like I'm floating in the blackest space being looked at by some bizarre glowing monolith is my red LED clock, which is also probably killing me in it's own quiet, silent way. I then start to giggle helplessly at the situation.
And I can't stop. I plead with myself to stop being silly and just close my eyes and KEEP THEM CLOSED and ignore it, but then I start thinking less of the 'haha there's an alien in my room this is hilarious' and more of the 'shit there's a glowing light tube 30cms from my head like it's a broken uranium shell or something, the glow is not going away and I'm going to keep my head here for the next 7 hours'....
After about 10 mins of going through the obligatory talking myself in and out of getting out of bed, going through all the pros and cons of moving at all, I finally realise that I am going to have to get up and move this light because I'm terrified of being somehow radiated by this evil glowing tube.
But how do I move it?? Maybe it's radiating electricity and will fry me when I touch it!! But maybe it's glowing means it's going to catch on fire and fry me as I sleep.... I ended up moving the bloody thing outside, handling it with all the enthusiasm of a Russian soldier who drew the short straw on the late night nuke watch.
Sigh of relief. It's gone, I'm safe. Thankfully it's all over and I can just go to bed and sleep witout being glowed at and radiated. Need to go to the toilet... off I shuffle... look at the wall... SPIDER!!!!
For anyone who doesn't know, I am arachnaphobic. Not the girly arachnaphobic where they just don't like crawly things so they can squeal and jump into a guy's arms. No, believe me that by the time I got out of that bathroom I was SHAKING like a junkie and hyperventilating... my heart was beating visibly out of my chest!
Chaos, fucking chaos. Well, that's my action packed night. Maybe I'll get superpowers now?
Anyway, lunch is over and it's been great chatting with the screen but I've gotta get back to work.
Looking forward to having 3 headed babies yeah.
I'm settling in well and nobody has hit me over the head or anything yet so I guess I'm not annoying anybody :) I did miss my Dan very much last night though, I had all sorts of trouble while he was in Frankston DJing at some metal night... it was quite action packed really...
You see, it all started with the light. Not the light of dawn, of birth or anything too earth shattering, but just a bedside light. It's one of those long desklamp tube things and I had it tilted onto it's side poking out from the bookcase next to my bed so I could read. An unnatural stance for a desk lamp I will admit, but that's the only way I could get it to poke out the right way.
Well the other night I was reading a fantastic book in bed and noticed a sound coming from it... a wrong sound... the sound of something mechanical struggling and zapping... but being in a particularly lazy mood I ignored it until it went away and kept on reading.
The next night when I was about to go to bed the same bedside light didn't turn on. My mind turned over wondering what on earth could be wrong? Dan answered me from his side of the bed, looking at the light tube with a slightly amused expression.
"Sam, I don't think that tube's supposed to be all blackened like that"
Ooh yes look how it's burned, look how the 'top' half of my light is black, gradually recovering and starting to look like a normal light tube again down the 'bottom'. Ooh indeed.
So. The light has changed, not me, which means that I'm still my lazy self. Therefore it shouldn't surprise anyone to know that I left the light there to be moved another time, any time, just not now.
Cut to last night. It's dark, everybody's out so it's quiet and I've been pottering around. I'm now lying in bed all alone reading, for quite some time (still reading a great book). It's nice and quiet, peaceful even. I haven't used the broken light - see how smart I am? I have used another light instead. I stretch out on the bed, turn the light off and close my eyes.
Then I open them for some reason and there is AN ALIEN IN MY ROOM. MY BROKEN LIGHT IS GLOWING. GLOWING!!!!!
Silently, softly, accusingly, it stood up still and strong in the darkness. It was fully luminescent and because I hadn't moved it at all it was still standing straight up and down about 30cms from my face, with the luminosity gradually dissipating towards the bottom of the light, the top gleaming like fucking Chernobyl and the lightshade is making the entire effect glow eerily even more. It's right in front of me and it's... it's somehow looking at me.
So am I going to die now from some nasty radiation poisoning or what?!?!?
I close my eyes again. I'm tired, just ignore it. But I CAN'T. It's fucking GLOWING AT ME. The only thing that is saving me from feeling like I'm floating in the blackest space being looked at by some bizarre glowing monolith is my red LED clock, which is also probably killing me in it's own quiet, silent way. I then start to giggle helplessly at the situation.
And I can't stop. I plead with myself to stop being silly and just close my eyes and KEEP THEM CLOSED and ignore it, but then I start thinking less of the 'haha there's an alien in my room this is hilarious' and more of the 'shit there's a glowing light tube 30cms from my head like it's a broken uranium shell or something, the glow is not going away and I'm going to keep my head here for the next 7 hours'....
After about 10 mins of going through the obligatory talking myself in and out of getting out of bed, going through all the pros and cons of moving at all, I finally realise that I am going to have to get up and move this light because I'm terrified of being somehow radiated by this evil glowing tube.
But how do I move it?? Maybe it's radiating electricity and will fry me when I touch it!! But maybe it's glowing means it's going to catch on fire and fry me as I sleep.... I ended up moving the bloody thing outside, handling it with all the enthusiasm of a Russian soldier who drew the short straw on the late night nuke watch.
Sigh of relief. It's gone, I'm safe. Thankfully it's all over and I can just go to bed and sleep witout being glowed at and radiated. Need to go to the toilet... off I shuffle... look at the wall... SPIDER!!!!
For anyone who doesn't know, I am arachnaphobic. Not the girly arachnaphobic where they just don't like crawly things so they can squeal and jump into a guy's arms. No, believe me that by the time I got out of that bathroom I was SHAKING like a junkie and hyperventilating... my heart was beating visibly out of my chest!
Chaos, fucking chaos. Well, that's my action packed night. Maybe I'll get superpowers now?
Anyway, lunch is over and it's been great chatting with the screen but I've gotta get back to work.
Looking forward to having 3 headed babies yeah.