It's whatever
Two words: Steve Sandvoss.
I felt moved to write an entry today. I have recently been enjoying this new thing called "being single." Well, maybe I have not been enjoying it to its full capacity, but I'm definetly on that road, I believe. I have felt...good looking lately. I'm scruffy because I've negleted to work for several days, which means I don't shave (although I'm going to do that very soon) and my skin is surprisingly clear. It may be the cold, dry weather. I never had skin problems while in England. I am only unhappy with two things: I want whiter teeth (although I'm intent on laser whitening, I am considering investing in some sort of whitening chemical) and I need to find the motivation to work out on a regular basis. I like my thin body, but I believe that some sort of toning is in order, and I strongly believe that I can have a body just like Steve Sandvoss (or at least close to it). Many push ups, pulls ups, crunches, and dumbbell lifts along with a high protein diet should do the trick. But the trick is really finding, again, the motivation.
Life has not been too great lately. I recently found out that I won't be graduating in May due to the D I made in P-chem I last semester, a result of my lack of interest along with the deteriorating relationship that I was suffering. I will not graduate because of 3 lousy hours. I just have to push through, however, because there really is nothing I can do on this one (and believe me, I've tried...ever seriously considered giving your professor a blow job? Not that I was aksed, but I thought I might just offer). So here I will remain, in this terrible city, for the next year. 2008 was suppose to be THE YEAR when things were going to take off. New job, new loft, more money, better body, beautiful men, and sex. Unfortunately, the outlook is bleak. I'll spend the summer doing something science-y so I can save and pay the bills, but I'm going to go to another city, somewhere where I build a future and have a lot...A LOT...of fun.
My anxiety was added on to by the discovery that William has recently embarked on a new relationship. Thank you MySpace. I knew it would happen any day now. I just knew William would do it. That is exactly how he operates. End one, be single for a few weeks, and start another one. Can't he just be single for a while? No. He's too afraid of being alone and he feels likes he's running out of time. Again, however, I'm not one bit surprised. The guy is my age, and looks a lot like me. Same height, similar build, similar hair (although maybe a better smile) and he actually lives in Atlanta, which is (unknowing to him) going to be the thing that makes this relationship last maybe a litter longer than most of William's usually do. William dated Vanderbuilt and Southern Miss while in Atlanta. Distance never works, as we all know. Perhaps he thinks a hometown boy is just the ticket? I do know that a MySpace annoucement is very calculated. I won't be affected, however. An email to remind he about his final IKEA bill payment will suffice.
I'll be in Atlanta soon, anyway. The Monday before Mardi Gras. I have finally managed to get a contact within the CDC. Too bad I'm not graduating in May. She is going to eat lunch with me and give me a mini tour of her lab. I want to see what it is like there and if I would even enjoy it. I'll be staying, ironically, with William's boss and his partner (pending that they will be around that Monday). I thought I'd make a weekend of it. I have a feeling that they (along with William and perhaps his new boy) will be around for Mardi Gras though, so it may not work out for that day. We'll see. I think it would be absolutely fabulous to run into William and his guy at WetBar while I'm visiting. How much fun would that be!? And I would act so unattached and uninterested (and would really feel about 70% that way). We shall see, but the meeting is a for sure.
I am pretty bummed about all that, though. Putting up a happy facade always helps to push through, which is exactly what I'm doing. Why so damn soon? But it is really that soon? I'm not over him, and that's just honesty, so does this mean he is over me? I'm sure he was over me before we even broke up. It's hard to imagine him being that big of a liar, though. Looks and appearances are so very deceiving. Some say a relationship isn't over until you get into another relationship. Maybe that's what happened? I certainly have no intentions to get into another relationship, at least for the next year. I'm moving around too much, and I don't want anymore Hattiesburg trash. DONE with that. I thought William was the best of both worlds. I suppose you can take the boy out of Hattiesburg, but you can't take the Hattiesburg out of the boy. Immaturity is like a bad stain that takes forever to get rid of. There is always a hint of it. Those that have the stain either keep it and look ridiculous...or buy a new shirt. Make sense?
I'm pretty fucking fabulous, though. I'm cute, intelligent, mature, talented, somewhat wise, loving, caring, resiliant, patient...and many more...and very convinced that there is that guy out there somewhere, and I WILL find him, or vica verca...or we will find each other. He is the hottest guy I'll ever know and he'll be everything that I want.
Right now, however, it's definetely whatever. Karma's a bitch, and what goes around comes around. You reap what you sow. All too true, and I know this first hand. I won't be in this hole forever, and the other side will be 10 times better.
Daniel
I felt moved to write an entry today. I have recently been enjoying this new thing called "being single." Well, maybe I have not been enjoying it to its full capacity, but I'm definetly on that road, I believe. I have felt...good looking lately. I'm scruffy because I've negleted to work for several days, which means I don't shave (although I'm going to do that very soon) and my skin is surprisingly clear. It may be the cold, dry weather. I never had skin problems while in England. I am only unhappy with two things: I want whiter teeth (although I'm intent on laser whitening, I am considering investing in some sort of whitening chemical) and I need to find the motivation to work out on a regular basis. I like my thin body, but I believe that some sort of toning is in order, and I strongly believe that I can have a body just like Steve Sandvoss (or at least close to it). Many push ups, pulls ups, crunches, and dumbbell lifts along with a high protein diet should do the trick. But the trick is really finding, again, the motivation.
Life has not been too great lately. I recently found out that I won't be graduating in May due to the D I made in P-chem I last semester, a result of my lack of interest along with the deteriorating relationship that I was suffering. I will not graduate because of 3 lousy hours. I just have to push through, however, because there really is nothing I can do on this one (and believe me, I've tried...ever seriously considered giving your professor a blow job? Not that I was aksed, but I thought I might just offer). So here I will remain, in this terrible city, for the next year. 2008 was suppose to be THE YEAR when things were going to take off. New job, new loft, more money, better body, beautiful men, and sex. Unfortunately, the outlook is bleak. I'll spend the summer doing something science-y so I can save and pay the bills, but I'm going to go to another city, somewhere where I build a future and have a lot...A LOT...of fun.
My anxiety was added on to by the discovery that William has recently embarked on a new relationship. Thank you MySpace. I knew it would happen any day now. I just knew William would do it. That is exactly how he operates. End one, be single for a few weeks, and start another one. Can't he just be single for a while? No. He's too afraid of being alone and he feels likes he's running out of time. Again, however, I'm not one bit surprised. The guy is my age, and looks a lot like me. Same height, similar build, similar hair (although maybe a better smile) and he actually lives in Atlanta, which is (unknowing to him) going to be the thing that makes this relationship last maybe a litter longer than most of William's usually do. William dated Vanderbuilt and Southern Miss while in Atlanta. Distance never works, as we all know. Perhaps he thinks a hometown boy is just the ticket? I do know that a MySpace annoucement is very calculated. I won't be affected, however. An email to remind he about his final IKEA bill payment will suffice.
I'll be in Atlanta soon, anyway. The Monday before Mardi Gras. I have finally managed to get a contact within the CDC. Too bad I'm not graduating in May. She is going to eat lunch with me and give me a mini tour of her lab. I want to see what it is like there and if I would even enjoy it. I'll be staying, ironically, with William's boss and his partner (pending that they will be around that Monday). I thought I'd make a weekend of it. I have a feeling that they (along with William and perhaps his new boy) will be around for Mardi Gras though, so it may not work out for that day. We'll see. I think it would be absolutely fabulous to run into William and his guy at WetBar while I'm visiting. How much fun would that be!? And I would act so unattached and uninterested (and would really feel about 70% that way). We shall see, but the meeting is a for sure.
I am pretty bummed about all that, though. Putting up a happy facade always helps to push through, which is exactly what I'm doing. Why so damn soon? But it is really that soon? I'm not over him, and that's just honesty, so does this mean he is over me? I'm sure he was over me before we even broke up. It's hard to imagine him being that big of a liar, though. Looks and appearances are so very deceiving. Some say a relationship isn't over until you get into another relationship. Maybe that's what happened? I certainly have no intentions to get into another relationship, at least for the next year. I'm moving around too much, and I don't want anymore Hattiesburg trash. DONE with that. I thought William was the best of both worlds. I suppose you can take the boy out of Hattiesburg, but you can't take the Hattiesburg out of the boy. Immaturity is like a bad stain that takes forever to get rid of. There is always a hint of it. Those that have the stain either keep it and look ridiculous...or buy a new shirt. Make sense?
I'm pretty fucking fabulous, though. I'm cute, intelligent, mature, talented, somewhat wise, loving, caring, resiliant, patient...and many more...and very convinced that there is that guy out there somewhere, and I WILL find him, or vica verca...or we will find each other. He is the hottest guy I'll ever know and he'll be everything that I want.
Right now, however, it's definetely whatever. Karma's a bitch, and what goes around comes around. You reap what you sow. All too true, and I know this first hand. I won't be in this hole forever, and the other side will be 10 times better.
Daniel