huge changes
okay so i ended up getting all the money ineeded most of which i made from working my ass off. i got everything paid on time. but a lot of things and plans have change.
first off i am not moving into the dream house i thought we were.last sat i worked late .. i got out at 1:30 am and went to pick dan up at a party i was in a bad mood and tired and just wanted to go home and sleep before i had to be back to work the next morning. yeah no such luck. i got mad at dan and made a scene while trying to pick him up.. more than was intended. it resulted in two of his friends(one his roommate now one our supposed to be future roomate) pissed off at me and walking a few miles hoe when i didn't even know i was supposed to pickt hem up too in the first place. this resulted in swift saying he didn't want to live with us which pissed dan off even more. well dan and i talkd and figured things out and when ken and swift got home i apologized . then i went out to my car to leave and everything changed. the fuckers vandalized my fucking car!! the whole arm rest on the passagner side door was ripped off and sitting on my front seat!!i was SOO pissed. dan came over to my ouse and i showed him and wwe talked and i told him i don't care is swift changes his mind i will NOT live in the same house as him or in the same house as ken for that matter. i don't trust either. and i don't care how pissed you are atme you can talk shit about me yell at me break a cd but you DON'T break some ones car that they have no money to fix. luckily dan understood.
so then the dilema became what was i going to do when my lease was up at the end of the month. also we obviously couldn't afford the 950 a month to stay in the house we just put deposit on. so how were we going to find a new roomate or how were we going to get our money back and find a new place by the end of the month. i was stressed. luckily when dan called the landlord and told him a story about how swift bailed he was mad but also undrestanding. he happened to have another house still available, one that we had also looked at... and he was going to drop the rent from 800 to 675 so we culd afford it!! its a three bedroom one bath, basment, porch on the back and a fenced in yard thats only one street down from dan's house now. Still kinda a ghetto neighbor hood and a little more than i wanted to pay but its worth it and the best part is we can move in around the 25th of this month!! so i don't have to worry about finding a place to stay for a month! so that actually worked out for the better in my mind.and of cuorse swift now wants to live with us again but he is not.
then there is school. yeah. i don't get financial aid anymore. i have to pay for it all o ut of my pocket. so i had to make a big decision. i could still go to school this summer and continue to struggle to make ends meet with money and work my ass off at work and try and keep up at school to try to get into the nursing program next june. or i could take the summer off from school and just work my ass of making money which will give me plenty of free time to take care of business and move and get my house set. also allowing my to stay ontop of bills and actually pay off debts such as restitution finally and actually save money so i can more easily pay for school in the fall and then take yet another year to getinto the nursing program. i opted that route. instead of doing to manyt hings at once fromnow on i am going to try and finish the things i have started before moving on and to take my time and make sure i get everything done and done right. this way i know i will be able to get the grades i need now that i am taking my time. survival first career plan second.
that was not an easy choice but i feel its the rightone.
oh and i finally talked with dan and got some more solid answers about our future.. he is planning on us getting married. he wants to wait til he feels more stable before bringing me into his life. he wants to be able to take care of me lol. i told him i am in no hurry to get a ring on my finger i just want to know that i am not wasting my time on a relationship that has no future. than i asked him when he thought he would feel more stable. he said prolly six months after he graduates.. a year at most. he gradtuates in two years at most..so i fel better knowing that this is actually what he wants and that i am not wasting my time and i now can go back to putting a hundred percent into making things work with out doubting if everythig is worth it.
yah know normally when things don't go as planned or whenso many things go wrong at once i get really depressed and down but for some reason this time i haven't. nothing is seeming to phase me right now. even though verylittle is going as planned i remain optimistic. i kinda like it this way.
so thats whats going on with me. hopeully taking things slower will allow me some time to catch up with people. i miss you all so much! oh and some time in july i am going to have a "living in a new house" party.hopefully you all can come! okay i have to go take care of some business now and then head to work .
xoxo
Burly
first off i am not moving into the dream house i thought we were.last sat i worked late .. i got out at 1:30 am and went to pick dan up at a party i was in a bad mood and tired and just wanted to go home and sleep before i had to be back to work the next morning. yeah no such luck. i got mad at dan and made a scene while trying to pick him up.. more than was intended. it resulted in two of his friends(one his roommate now one our supposed to be future roomate) pissed off at me and walking a few miles hoe when i didn't even know i was supposed to pickt hem up too in the first place. this resulted in swift saying he didn't want to live with us which pissed dan off even more. well dan and i talkd and figured things out and when ken and swift got home i apologized . then i went out to my car to leave and everything changed. the fuckers vandalized my fucking car!! the whole arm rest on the passagner side door was ripped off and sitting on my front seat!!i was SOO pissed. dan came over to my ouse and i showed him and wwe talked and i told him i don't care is swift changes his mind i will NOT live in the same house as him or in the same house as ken for that matter. i don't trust either. and i don't care how pissed you are atme you can talk shit about me yell at me break a cd but you DON'T break some ones car that they have no money to fix. luckily dan understood.
so then the dilema became what was i going to do when my lease was up at the end of the month. also we obviously couldn't afford the 950 a month to stay in the house we just put deposit on. so how were we going to find a new roomate or how were we going to get our money back and find a new place by the end of the month. i was stressed. luckily when dan called the landlord and told him a story about how swift bailed he was mad but also undrestanding. he happened to have another house still available, one that we had also looked at... and he was going to drop the rent from 800 to 675 so we culd afford it!! its a three bedroom one bath, basment, porch on the back and a fenced in yard thats only one street down from dan's house now. Still kinda a ghetto neighbor hood and a little more than i wanted to pay but its worth it and the best part is we can move in around the 25th of this month!! so i don't have to worry about finding a place to stay for a month! so that actually worked out for the better in my mind.and of cuorse swift now wants to live with us again but he is not.
then there is school. yeah. i don't get financial aid anymore. i have to pay for it all o ut of my pocket. so i had to make a big decision. i could still go to school this summer and continue to struggle to make ends meet with money and work my ass off at work and try and keep up at school to try to get into the nursing program next june. or i could take the summer off from school and just work my ass of making money which will give me plenty of free time to take care of business and move and get my house set. also allowing my to stay ontop of bills and actually pay off debts such as restitution finally and actually save money so i can more easily pay for school in the fall and then take yet another year to getinto the nursing program. i opted that route. instead of doing to manyt hings at once fromnow on i am going to try and finish the things i have started before moving on and to take my time and make sure i get everything done and done right. this way i know i will be able to get the grades i need now that i am taking my time. survival first career plan second.
that was not an easy choice but i feel its the rightone.
oh and i finally talked with dan and got some more solid answers about our future.. he is planning on us getting married. he wants to wait til he feels more stable before bringing me into his life. he wants to be able to take care of me lol. i told him i am in no hurry to get a ring on my finger i just want to know that i am not wasting my time on a relationship that has no future. than i asked him when he thought he would feel more stable. he said prolly six months after he graduates.. a year at most. he gradtuates in two years at most..so i fel better knowing that this is actually what he wants and that i am not wasting my time and i now can go back to putting a hundred percent into making things work with out doubting if everythig is worth it.
yah know normally when things don't go as planned or whenso many things go wrong at once i get really depressed and down but for some reason this time i haven't. nothing is seeming to phase me right now. even though verylittle is going as planned i remain optimistic. i kinda like it this way.
so thats whats going on with me. hopeully taking things slower will allow me some time to catch up with people. i miss you all so much! oh and some time in july i am going to have a "living in a new house" party.hopefully you all can come! okay i have to go take care of some business now and then head to work .
xoxo
Burly