(no subject)

[oceanbreezze]

2 years ago today i lost one of the most important people in my life. this man has always been my hero. he wasnt the kind of grandpa who took his grandkids out for ice cream or even did anything one on one, but his presence meant more to all of us then i think he could have ever imagined. when he said he was proud of you, that was the most important thing you could hear at that time. i'm so lucky to have grown up at their house and to have him raise me with his morals. a big part of who i am today is because of him. i miss him so much it hurts, and every single day i miss him more and more, but i know that he was a happy man. he lived a good life and he was loved by everyone he met. the fact that he put up with all of my grandma's antics makes me think that he really was a saint. i try so hard to think about the times before he had cancer, but whenever i think back to him, i think of him laying in that bed. but one day that always comes to my mind first is a day when he showed major improvement. he hadnt even really been talking much, but i stopped there before i was going to ohio to say goodbye and he was joking around and smiling. thats how i want to remember him, sick or not, he was happy. watching him sick was the hardest thing i've ever gone through. he always was and always will be like superman to me. i know he loved me. and i know i love him, but i wish i would have told him that so much more than i did. i think about him more than anyone else and i wish so much that i had one more day with him, just to tell him how much i love him.

i love you and miss you SO much grampa :(