I started reading "Prayer and the Art of Volkswagon Maintenance"
Again... I've read that book so many times that I won't even venture a count.
Every time I feel the need to read it, though, is indicative of one thing-
I'm getting restless.
It is ridiculous to think that I'm already stir-crazy, especially since I've been in orlando less than two months. But I almost hate settling in places- I feel trapped by obligations and people and expectations. I want to be around people that I love, but I very quickly feel tied down by them. I've always done this, my mom says that it's just wanderlust and I get it from my grandmother. That it will pass. But it never does, and I spend up driving around the city for hours thinking about how if I had been born in another century I would have run away with the gypsies. This happened in jacksonville, and at Taylor, and now here... I just feel like life should be an adventure and not a course schedule. Not a part time job. I want to spend my days driving around Africa in the back of a land rover, working at refugee camps and brining clean water to villages. I really don't think I have it in me to live a normal, settled life over here. I have to be on the move, I have to be outside, I have to be meeting new people and trying new things and feeling like I accomplished something important when I go to bed at night. Not important like "I contributed to the company's output today"; important like "I helped someone who desperatly needed it and had been overlooked for so long today". I know that it's good Ben and I broke up- He will be very fulfilled one day with a beautiful wife and a family, get together with his parents and cousins and aunts for holidays and laugh all the time because he loves them all. I can't picture myself in that kind of life, and given that, there is no reason to waste our time. I'm thinking about dropping my minors so I can graduate early, head over to Africa and get on with the exploring I want to do and the aid I want to contribute. I haven't decided yet though - I need to talk to my advisor.
Every time I feel the need to read it, though, is indicative of one thing-
I'm getting restless.
It is ridiculous to think that I'm already stir-crazy, especially since I've been in orlando less than two months. But I almost hate settling in places- I feel trapped by obligations and people and expectations. I want to be around people that I love, but I very quickly feel tied down by them. I've always done this, my mom says that it's just wanderlust and I get it from my grandmother. That it will pass. But it never does, and I spend up driving around the city for hours thinking about how if I had been born in another century I would have run away with the gypsies. This happened in jacksonville, and at Taylor, and now here... I just feel like life should be an adventure and not a course schedule. Not a part time job. I want to spend my days driving around Africa in the back of a land rover, working at refugee camps and brining clean water to villages. I really don't think I have it in me to live a normal, settled life over here. I have to be on the move, I have to be outside, I have to be meeting new people and trying new things and feeling like I accomplished something important when I go to bed at night. Not important like "I contributed to the company's output today"; important like "I helped someone who desperatly needed it and had been overlooked for so long today". I know that it's good Ben and I broke up- He will be very fulfilled one day with a beautiful wife and a family, get together with his parents and cousins and aunts for holidays and laugh all the time because he loves them all. I can't picture myself in that kind of life, and given that, there is no reason to waste our time. I'm thinking about dropping my minors so I can graduate early, head over to Africa and get on with the exploring I want to do and the aid I want to contribute. I haven't decided yet though - I need to talk to my advisor.