(no subject)
So my grandmom called and was talking to me about various things when she brought up how it's official that the place where my grandfather works is going to close in 2012, which is going to force him to retire.
She said how this house would be too much work for him, since he's getting old, and we'll have to move--either to Delaware or Florida. She kept saying how we'd look at homes in Florida next summer, and go to Orlando while we're there so I can see the new Harry Potter section in Universal, and go to Disney and all.
And at first I was pretty okay with this--hey, moving to where I could go to Disney anytime I want seems pretty awesome! I won't lie that I completely love Disney and never really tire of going there, and hey getting a job there might be kinda cool! And hey, Delaware doesn't have taxes, or something, that's awesome too!
And then I asked if my friend Rosemary could come with us to Florida next summer, if she isn't already traveling the globe by then.
And then it hit me...if I moved, I'd be leaving everyone and everything I've ever known since I was 3.
I wouldn't be able to take a 10-15 minute drive to see Amanda, or Cassy, or Jessica, or Rosemary.
I wouldn't be able to go to the movies with Thomas.
Am I being childish? I can't stop crying. I feel like this shouldn't matter, because we're all in college and the only ones I saw regularly were Amanda and Jessica anyhow.
But somehow being thousands of miles away from everyone, for more than a couple weeks on vacation, seems devastating and something I never want to face. Even being in Delaware, though better and closer, is painful to think about. I'm still so far away.
And then there's this house. Maybe I'm unhealthily attached to the place, but this has been my home since I was 3. I grew up here; my great-grandmother lived and died in this house. There are so many memories, so many traditions I grasp onto so tightly.
And I don't want to leave any of it behind.
And no, the easy solution is not just "well get a house here" and move out; I just can't do that. My grandparents need them, and frankly I don't think I'm mature enough to live on my own right now. I need to go away for college for a little bit to get myself used to it before I can just suddenly rip away from my grandparents.
But I don't know what to do. I want to tell them I don't want to move, but we have to because my poor grandfather can't keep up with all the work of our yard and the pool and pond and everything that needs to be done.
Maybe I can convince her to let all my friends go with me to Disney then. You know, for a last summer together or something.
But the thought is only making me more depressed and upset. Ahgjkgrt :(
She said how this house would be too much work for him, since he's getting old, and we'll have to move--either to Delaware or Florida. She kept saying how we'd look at homes in Florida next summer, and go to Orlando while we're there so I can see the new Harry Potter section in Universal, and go to Disney and all.
And at first I was pretty okay with this--hey, moving to where I could go to Disney anytime I want seems pretty awesome! I won't lie that I completely love Disney and never really tire of going there, and hey getting a job there might be kinda cool! And hey, Delaware doesn't have taxes, or something, that's awesome too!
And then I asked if my friend Rosemary could come with us to Florida next summer, if she isn't already traveling the globe by then.
And then it hit me...if I moved, I'd be leaving everyone and everything I've ever known since I was 3.
I wouldn't be able to take a 10-15 minute drive to see Amanda, or Cassy, or Jessica, or Rosemary.
I wouldn't be able to go to the movies with Thomas.
Am I being childish? I can't stop crying. I feel like this shouldn't matter, because we're all in college and the only ones I saw regularly were Amanda and Jessica anyhow.
But somehow being thousands of miles away from everyone, for more than a couple weeks on vacation, seems devastating and something I never want to face. Even being in Delaware, though better and closer, is painful to think about. I'm still so far away.
And then there's this house. Maybe I'm unhealthily attached to the place, but this has been my home since I was 3. I grew up here; my great-grandmother lived and died in this house. There are so many memories, so many traditions I grasp onto so tightly.
And I don't want to leave any of it behind.
And no, the easy solution is not just "well get a house here" and move out; I just can't do that. My grandparents need them, and frankly I don't think I'm mature enough to live on my own right now. I need to go away for college for a little bit to get myself used to it before I can just suddenly rip away from my grandparents.
But I don't know what to do. I want to tell them I don't want to move, but we have to because my poor grandfather can't keep up with all the work of our yard and the pool and pond and everything that needs to be done.
Maybe I can convince her to let all my friends go with me to Disney then. You know, for a last summer together or something.
But the thought is only making me more depressed and upset. Ahgjkgrt :(