Who am i? An introduction.
Tough question. Tougher to answer.
I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. I don't remember much of what happened before i was 5, except that by the time i was 3, i had broken my leg, spent 9 months in a body cast. (I climbed up on a trailer tailgate that wasn't latched, and it came down on me twisting my right leg from my knee to my hip. a "green-break" it is called.) Soon after that, my parents divorced because my father couldn't keep 'it' in his pants (according to my mother.) Mom was strung out on Valium (according to my father,) trying to keep it together taking care of 5 kids while Dad was "at work" (this is the story i was told) Dad was gonna be cheap with the alimony if Mom kept us, so we ended up with my dad and his new girlfriend, whom he later married.
In 1977, we moved to Squaw Valley, California, a really small town about 60 miles east of Fresno. We had no electricity, no running water, phone, nothing that society deems necessary for survival. We (us kids) were taught that if we wanted something, we were going to have to work for it, and not expect anyone to give it to us. And we can begin by grabbing a shovel and start digging the trench from the well to the barn, cause our horses need the water more than we did. You see, horses aren't able to just get in a car and get water from the neighbors, which the nearest was a mile and a half away, like we did. Someone has to take care of them, (my step-mom was so happy to point out time after time)
I am not sure what you might know about life in the country, but out there, one does not go into town to buy something every time it breaks down, we repair it. Sometimes it, (whatever it is) just MAY be held together with baling wire and duct tape! I learned to re-use nails, boards, etc, etc, so i can get whatever job done that needed done.
By the time I was 10, I was building fence lines by myself, breaking and training horses for riding, learning how to cultivate a garden properly, maintaining the sprinkler system for our yard. (3 acres of yard is BIG!) lots of mowing on saturday lol. I spent the next 7 years taking care of the ranch.
As for entertainment, i had books. Lots of books. World book encyclopedia, childcraft how-to books, history books. Science books, a few novels. My favorite was a collection of tales that included the Iliad of Homer, the story of Beowulf, Roland and Charlemagne, and of course, the Bible. ( i was grounded a lot as a kid, and as a result, did not get to watch a lot of television once we did get electricity.)
My only real sad memory of life on the ranch, was my step mothers fondness for her buggy whip smacking against my legs, back, arms, etc. usually 99 times out of 100, i deserved the punishment (i was a rascal, pain in the butt, hard headed kid) It is only because of the years that have passed, and with study of scripture and lots of prayer, that i am able to see the wisdom in the verse "spare the rod, spoil the child" This is not advocating the use of a horsewhip to dole out punishment for wrongdoing, but advocating that punishment must be doled out when necessary.
In '82, a classmate invited my little sister to a youth group meeting at the local baptist church. A few weeks later I was invited. Every Wednesday, at 5:15 in the evening, a bright orange VW bus would show up to take us to church. Soon we started going to sunday services. Then came summer camp!
It was a 'hellfire and brimstone' kind of camp.. Where the preachers try to scare the kids into accepting Christ. Not the best method, but it worked for me. In the summer of '82 i recieved Jesus as my savior, and haven't been the same since.
When i did that, i got someone else's attention. But God was working in the background as usual. After we got back from camp, my dad started taking us to church. At first, he waited in the car or at a nearby restaurant until the services were over, but soon started to attend. It wasn't long before he finally accepted Christ, and he led my step-mother to Christ soon after that!
It was my freshman year of high school that life for me became a real trial. My first day, i was handed a sandwich bag with 3 hand rolled cigarettes (i thought) and was told to come back if i like them. OK, My dad used to smoke rolled cigarettes and he liked them, i'll give them a try. (we didn't have all the info on how bad smoking was for you then) Besides, what could it hurt. That weekend, behind the barn, as i was smoking them. i saw a flash in the corner of my right eye, and saw a rake handle coming at my head. I grabbed it, then noticed my stepmother was holding it saying, "Let go of this rake, you son of a bitch" which i did. She then proceeded to beat me with it all the way to the house, where she told me to go to my room and wait for my dad to get home from work. Now my dad worked for the railroad, and was known to be gone for 4-5 days at a time, and he had just left for work that morning. So i sat and waited. and waited. (all this for a couple of cigarettes?) My stepmom called a few of the neighbor wives over to have them come in and look at me, going "for shame! for shame!" and i had no clue what i did that was wrong, besides smoking a few cigarettes just like they did. The next day, my dad came home from work, angry because he just lost $300 by calling off for the next 3 days. He came into my room, shook his head, tipped over my guitar,(which he had bought when he was 11 years old and had given to me when i turned 11) and put his foot thru it saying, "that's what your life will be if you keep smoking that crap!"
and then he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. All this for 3 lousy cigarettes!! The hypocrites!! It wasn't until Monday, when i returned to school, that the girl who gave me the smokes told me that they were marijuana cigarettes. ??? Until this time, i had never heard of Marijuana. It was then that i decided to rebel against my parents because of their punishing me for my ignorance, ultimately resulting in my dropping out of school and leaving home at 16. I was given a choice, believe it or not, by my parents. Stay in school, or get a job. Since i was bored with school, and thought i knew it all anyway, i got a job. My first job was working in a dog/cat kennel where i had to clean up after 250 dogs and at least 80 cats. was working 48 hours a week, making $4.00 an hour when minimum wage was $ 3.15. After 2 months, i was able to rent my own place, thus becoming "self-sustaining" at 16.
My new-found freedom came with a lot of catches tho, and temptations. No one to tell me no, you can't do that, or no visitors till the weekend. I began to party it up, as everyone does at that time of their life. Lost the job, lost the place to stay, and at 17 i was homeless, going from couch to couch at various friends houses, determined not to ask my parents for help. (i still wont). I then enlisted in the Navy. I thought if anything, i would get to see the world i read about, but 9 months later i was discharged for the "inability to conform to a military lifestyle." Since then, it has been a long series of odd jobs in various places just to survive. I have been a security guard, a cab driver, a short order cook, a dishwasher, a breakfast chef at a 4 star resort, a tour guide. I have lain asphalt, built swimming pools and Koi ponds, been a roofer, maintained apartment buildings in Tulsa, Okla, was a ranch hand, taking care of 120 head of Clydesdale horses on a ranch on the coast of Cal. Most recently, i was a childcare worker. That job lasted 6 months, when the childrens mother came home and told me that she had quit her job so she could be a mother for her kids, instead of being that "lady that lives in the house but is never there." That was one job where i was pleased to lose. (In my opinion, a mother should be home with her kids, even tho society as a whole says otherwise.) To me, there are many, many things in this life that is more important than money. During these years, i have had times of drug and alcohol abuse. i spent 3 and a half years spun out on crank, another 3 years on crack cocaine, all the while, drinking and womanizing as if there were no tomorrow. Why not? I was young, having fun! Who cares!!! Besides, everyone else was doing it!!! (you know the excuses) "eat, drink and be merry! For tomorrow we die!!!' that was the creed i lived by. All this abuse to my body and spirit only led to an alienation of my friends and family, with the exception of a few, who stuck close by thru my recovery. About the only thing that kept me going, and still does today, is the words of Christ. He said "I will never leave you or forsake you", and he hasn't! It is my only hope that He will have mercy on me for the error of my ways, the misuse of the time that He has allotted me to tell, and to show by the way i live, His message of freedom and salvation.
As far as politics are concerned...lol. i would consider myself ultra conservative, anti big government. This nation has a government in place that is "of the people, for the people, and by the people." Just a casual glance will tell you that people in general are a greedy, self serving, evil bunch, and lo and behold, that is what our government has turned out to be. it is all about the bottom line. how can we get more control over the populace? how can we take over their resources? How can we get these people to not think for themselves, follow us blindly into world domination, and get them to believe that we have their best interest at heart? Granted, the Government as a whole has done some good things, but as Jesus said, "a little leaven leaveneth the whole loaf."
i'm not sure what else to write. My allegiances are to Christ, and then family, then friends, in that order. If family or friends try to get between me and Christ, then i move family and said friends out of the way. Simple as that. I feel the Bible is the inerrant, inspired word of God, given to the world through his prophets, and that Jesus Christ is the Risen Son of God! to me, all else is moot!
i hope this serves well as an introduction, and that we continue our conversation.
God Bless
rick