(no subject)
so here's an update on everything.
i had an allergic reaction to Advil. go figure! the thing that was making me feel better, was making me sicker! i had some type of virus and then a reaction to Advil. wtf? lol. but we got really scared because i had all the symptoms of meningitis...so we called the doctor and went in last Friday. it was something simple. thank god!
then over the weekend, i got better and was finally well enough to go to school. then Monday night was BSYO and the BCS Championship. so we skipped out half of BSYO and i was determined to see kick-off, but i got to Jacob's house at about 8:04, so kickoff had alreay happend, and besides, we sat in my car for 40 minutes making out. so i got home around 8:50. which is only about 15 minutes earlier than normal =P. but the game was amazing! we won! i was so happy. then i went to bed and Tuesday was uneventful along with Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. lol. i got in trouble today because i was supposed to go to my uncle's with my dad right after school. but i got home at 4:30 cause i was with Jacob...oops. my dad just got home a little bit ago and he hasn't said a word to me. that can't be good =| but oh well. as long as i can go to house Sunday for his birthday. omg! yesterday i was at his house and we were in his room. in his bed. with the covers over us. basically, it looked like we were having sex. and guess what! his mom came home! i bet that looked pretty wrong. my hair was a mess, his bed was a mess. geez. i felt so guilty even though we weren't doing anything!!! but his mom didn't mention anything to me or him. =] yay. i guess that's whats nice about having a son. haha. anyway. for his birthday present, his grandma bought 2 tickets to go see Stomp next Tuesday. its just Jacob and i and we are also getting a gift card to RJ Gators for before the show. i'm so excited! but its all a secret so SHH!! then Thursday is all-county and all day Friday is all-county and Saturday is the concert. so next week is very busy. but i'm really excited about it.
i picked out my solo for state! yay! it's pretty! another Bach piece heehee.
anyway. Jacob is so amazingly perfect. its crazy. yes, he has his annoying, inmature times, but i'm trying to kinda ignore those. but he is so great. and i finally have a guy who likes to make the moves! THANK YOU JESUS! i'm so tired of always having to make the move and now i don't have to! and when something is bothering me, he can tell right off the bat. i swear, he can read me like a book. sometimes he knows me better than i do. its strange. but cool. ha. Brie read our love tarot cards (which neither of us believe in), but it was still funnny because they were saying how perfect our relationship is, blah blah blah. but then there was this one thing that Brie did that symbolized a year (12 cards) and Jacob's was horrible! his cards basically said that we would either have a really tough time or break up and he would be severely depressed once i graduated then left for boot camp. it was horrible! because then my cards said that i would move on and to be careful of moving on too fast and it was depressing! because at lunch, we were both kind of down...but we got over it pretty quickly and discussed that we don't believe in that crap. but still. it was kinda freaky. anyway. *looks at the picture of us* man, i love him. and its so cool cause i can be sitting there and he's just looking at me and he'll be smiling and i'll ask what and he kinda closes his eyes and says "i love you" how could anyone be so perfect? it doesn't matter. all that matters is that i love him and he is amazing and sure, he can be annoying, but without him, i dunno where'd i'd be. *smiles*
well, Lindsay is offically a whore now. yep. my best friend since we were 2 ish. i've watched her slowly lower herself to te point of whoreness. its really sad, actually. ever since this past summer, after she lost a bunch of weight. shes spiraled down. getting involved with drugs, alcohol, and sex. i blame this one on her mom. and well, Lindsay too. it tears me apart to see her now. how could she be like that? i've always been like her bigger sister and now its just like our whole childhood is gone and all she wants to do is drink, smoke, and have sex. its really dumb. her first time having sex wasn't even enjoyable. she was drunk and high and she said it sucked. why would you waste such a special thing like that? i really don't know. i thought that all i wanted was sex in previous relationships. but now, i know what a relationship really is and it's not all about sex. its about love. and i think that Jacob and i are so successful because there is no sex involved. yes, sometimes it drives me crazy and i just want to do it. but his wishes are to wait. and i respect that whole-heartedly. i love him too much to risk losing him. its just the hormones start flowing and i wanna have sex with him because i love him. i want him to be the one that i give it all to. he's been my first in everything else. and i have been his firsts as well. and i want us to share the beauty of sex too. but i want it to be just right and not because we're pressured into it by other people, but when we feel that the timing is right. ideally, i'd like to give it to him before i leave, because being a virgin in the navy has to be some type of sin...but anyway. if it don't have sex, that's fine. i will still love him the same and my thoughts towards him will not be changed. he wishes to wait until marriage, and that is great. honestly, that would be the best time to lose it. people say you have to "try before you buy" but then, that takes away all of the fun of your wedding night! so i'm fine with waiting too. i'm just really going to miss him, but you know what, it would probably be harder knowing that we had sex and then being away for so long might make him curious for other girls. but i doubt it. he's too good for that =P the whole Lindsay thing really upsets me sometimes though. i dunno why she was so stupid. and now to be going out with Joe?!...but i guess its kinda a good thing for her. but i can see her getting eve more out of hand and it worries me...all these guys keep flirting with her and its realy getting annoying. it really shows how much most guys are just there for sex. sure, i have a couple of guys hit on me occasionally (mostly Adam) but he likes her already and he's only in it for sex. and thats why i feel so comfortable with Jacob. because nothing is forced. we take everything slowly and we talk about everything and anything. i dunno if many people are blessed with this type of healthy relationship now days. but i feel extremely privlidged to have such an amazing boyfriend and friend. i just hope we could stay together forever becuase that would just be the best thing ever! i can't picture being without him now. "i don't wanna go another day without you, so i'm telling you exactly whats on my mind...i want you to know that you are the only one for me" "there's nothing else i could need" wow. what a perfect song for what i'm typing! i love iTunes! <3 *listens to the music* "nobody gonna love me better, i'm gonna sitck with you forever...nobody ever made me feel this way, im gonna stick with you" amen. trust me, i've had my doubts, but really everything about him i love. somethings just get annoying, but i still love him. my parents, well, mostly my dad, gets frustrated because i spend so much time with Jacob, but i know he was like this once...he knows what love is. and ithink he's afraid of us. i think he might have an intuition that i will be marrying this boy and he will have to give me up to this magnificent boy that i cant live without. i'm starting to tear up now! my dad has never really gotten so annoyed with m with any other guy (that he's know about) other than Jacob. i wish i could see where we're going to be in 5 to 10 years. i wish i could just catch a glimpse of if i will be married to Jacob or not. i really hope so. i think a person can only have one true love their life and throughout their lives, they think they have found love, but theres just this one person that is so true and amazing that they know it is their one love. and maybe some people are lucky and they might have two loves. but i think thats only because the first one wasnt the real love. but i don't know what else you would call our feelings towards eachother other than love. sometimes i can be a bitch to him, but sometimes he needs it and i don't mean to be hurtful. its because i love him i guess. and it kinda hurts me when he does something stupid so he needs straightening up sometimes. but i love him. and theres no stopping it. wow. i wrote a lot. guess i've been thinking a lot =] i really do love him and i don't know what we're oging to do once i leave. there's no way in hell that i want to end things, but i just hope we'll be able to last while i'm away. ending our love would devistate me to no end. i would never be able to not think about all the wonderful times we had together. god, he's just so perfect!!!!! =D I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i had an allergic reaction to Advil. go figure! the thing that was making me feel better, was making me sicker! i had some type of virus and then a reaction to Advil. wtf? lol. but we got really scared because i had all the symptoms of meningitis...so we called the doctor and went in last Friday. it was something simple. thank god!
then over the weekend, i got better and was finally well enough to go to school. then Monday night was BSYO and the BCS Championship. so we skipped out half of BSYO and i was determined to see kick-off, but i got to Jacob's house at about 8:04, so kickoff had alreay happend, and besides, we sat in my car for 40 minutes making out. so i got home around 8:50. which is only about 15 minutes earlier than normal =P. but the game was amazing! we won! i was so happy. then i went to bed and Tuesday was uneventful along with Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. lol. i got in trouble today because i was supposed to go to my uncle's with my dad right after school. but i got home at 4:30 cause i was with Jacob...oops. my dad just got home a little bit ago and he hasn't said a word to me. that can't be good =| but oh well. as long as i can go to house Sunday for his birthday. omg! yesterday i was at his house and we were in his room. in his bed. with the covers over us. basically, it looked like we were having sex. and guess what! his mom came home! i bet that looked pretty wrong. my hair was a mess, his bed was a mess. geez. i felt so guilty even though we weren't doing anything!!! but his mom didn't mention anything to me or him. =] yay. i guess that's whats nice about having a son. haha. anyway. for his birthday present, his grandma bought 2 tickets to go see Stomp next Tuesday. its just Jacob and i and we are also getting a gift card to RJ Gators for before the show. i'm so excited! but its all a secret so SHH!! then Thursday is all-county and all day Friday is all-county and Saturday is the concert. so next week is very busy. but i'm really excited about it.
i picked out my solo for state! yay! it's pretty! another Bach piece heehee.
anyway. Jacob is so amazingly perfect. its crazy. yes, he has his annoying, inmature times, but i'm trying to kinda ignore those. but he is so great. and i finally have a guy who likes to make the moves! THANK YOU JESUS! i'm so tired of always having to make the move and now i don't have to! and when something is bothering me, he can tell right off the bat. i swear, he can read me like a book. sometimes he knows me better than i do. its strange. but cool. ha. Brie read our love tarot cards (which neither of us believe in), but it was still funnny because they were saying how perfect our relationship is, blah blah blah. but then there was this one thing that Brie did that symbolized a year (12 cards) and Jacob's was horrible! his cards basically said that we would either have a really tough time or break up and he would be severely depressed once i graduated then left for boot camp. it was horrible! because then my cards said that i would move on and to be careful of moving on too fast and it was depressing! because at lunch, we were both kind of down...but we got over it pretty quickly and discussed that we don't believe in that crap. but still. it was kinda freaky. anyway. *looks at the picture of us* man, i love him. and its so cool cause i can be sitting there and he's just looking at me and he'll be smiling and i'll ask what and he kinda closes his eyes and says "i love you" how could anyone be so perfect? it doesn't matter. all that matters is that i love him and he is amazing and sure, he can be annoying, but without him, i dunno where'd i'd be. *smiles*
well, Lindsay is offically a whore now. yep. my best friend since we were 2 ish. i've watched her slowly lower herself to te point of whoreness. its really sad, actually. ever since this past summer, after she lost a bunch of weight. shes spiraled down. getting involved with drugs, alcohol, and sex. i blame this one on her mom. and well, Lindsay too. it tears me apart to see her now. how could she be like that? i've always been like her bigger sister and now its just like our whole childhood is gone and all she wants to do is drink, smoke, and have sex. its really dumb. her first time having sex wasn't even enjoyable. she was drunk and high and she said it sucked. why would you waste such a special thing like that? i really don't know. i thought that all i wanted was sex in previous relationships. but now, i know what a relationship really is and it's not all about sex. its about love. and i think that Jacob and i are so successful because there is no sex involved. yes, sometimes it drives me crazy and i just want to do it. but his wishes are to wait. and i respect that whole-heartedly. i love him too much to risk losing him. its just the hormones start flowing and i wanna have sex with him because i love him. i want him to be the one that i give it all to. he's been my first in everything else. and i have been his firsts as well. and i want us to share the beauty of sex too. but i want it to be just right and not because we're pressured into it by other people, but when we feel that the timing is right. ideally, i'd like to give it to him before i leave, because being a virgin in the navy has to be some type of sin...but anyway. if it don't have sex, that's fine. i will still love him the same and my thoughts towards him will not be changed. he wishes to wait until marriage, and that is great. honestly, that would be the best time to lose it. people say you have to "try before you buy" but then, that takes away all of the fun of your wedding night! so i'm fine with waiting too. i'm just really going to miss him, but you know what, it would probably be harder knowing that we had sex and then being away for so long might make him curious for other girls. but i doubt it. he's too good for that =P the whole Lindsay thing really upsets me sometimes though. i dunno why she was so stupid. and now to be going out with Joe?!...but i guess its kinda a good thing for her. but i can see her getting eve more out of hand and it worries me...all these guys keep flirting with her and its realy getting annoying. it really shows how much most guys are just there for sex. sure, i have a couple of guys hit on me occasionally (mostly Adam) but he likes her already and he's only in it for sex. and thats why i feel so comfortable with Jacob. because nothing is forced. we take everything slowly and we talk about everything and anything. i dunno if many people are blessed with this type of healthy relationship now days. but i feel extremely privlidged to have such an amazing boyfriend and friend. i just hope we could stay together forever becuase that would just be the best thing ever! i can't picture being without him now. "i don't wanna go another day without you, so i'm telling you exactly whats on my mind...i want you to know that you are the only one for me" "there's nothing else i could need" wow. what a perfect song for what i'm typing! i love iTunes! <3 *listens to the music* "nobody gonna love me better, i'm gonna sitck with you forever...nobody ever made me feel this way, im gonna stick with you" amen. trust me, i've had my doubts, but really everything about him i love. somethings just get annoying, but i still love him. my parents, well, mostly my dad, gets frustrated because i spend so much time with Jacob, but i know he was like this once...he knows what love is. and ithink he's afraid of us. i think he might have an intuition that i will be marrying this boy and he will have to give me up to this magnificent boy that i cant live without. i'm starting to tear up now! my dad has never really gotten so annoyed with m with any other guy (that he's know about) other than Jacob. i wish i could see where we're going to be in 5 to 10 years. i wish i could just catch a glimpse of if i will be married to Jacob or not. i really hope so. i think a person can only have one true love their life and throughout their lives, they think they have found love, but theres just this one person that is so true and amazing that they know it is their one love. and maybe some people are lucky and they might have two loves. but i think thats only because the first one wasnt the real love. but i don't know what else you would call our feelings towards eachother other than love. sometimes i can be a bitch to him, but sometimes he needs it and i don't mean to be hurtful. its because i love him i guess. and it kinda hurts me when he does something stupid so he needs straightening up sometimes. but i love him. and theres no stopping it. wow. i wrote a lot. guess i've been thinking a lot =] i really do love him and i don't know what we're oging to do once i leave. there's no way in hell that i want to end things, but i just hope we'll be able to last while i'm away. ending our love would devistate me to no end. i would never be able to not think about all the wonderful times we had together. god, he's just so perfect!!!!! =D I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!