Jealousy
I feel as if I've fallen miles from my last post....
He's at school, obviously, which is, in the long run, where I want him...
But I find myself sitting here, miserable and alone, not knowing truly who I am or if I"ll ever be good enough. I don't think I have what it takes...
I think jealousy is extremely ugly, and destroys friendships, and is nothing I've ever wished to experience...
I find myself exteremly jealous of my roommate. I'm half disgusted in myself for allowing this jealousy to control me, and half disgusted in the fact that...its my roommate! The same girl who can't take care of herself. The same girl who emotionally rollercoasters from one extreme to the other. The same girl who lives in a pile of her own filth...and still manages to be dating someone, cheating on him with his best friend, and have he ex try to get back together with her, all in the course of 5 days.
And of course theres the stories from all the other girls you know who are in their happy relationships with the greatest guys they've ever met, and sure, things happen, but they're perfect together!
I sound like a whiny, stupid, pathetic, obsessive little brat. I hate it. I hate sounding this way, I hate feeling this way. I just truly don't think I'm good enough, for anyone, for anything...
Any way I can pull myself from this? I would love to...
He's at school, obviously, which is, in the long run, where I want him...
But I find myself sitting here, miserable and alone, not knowing truly who I am or if I"ll ever be good enough. I don't think I have what it takes...
I think jealousy is extremely ugly, and destroys friendships, and is nothing I've ever wished to experience...
I find myself exteremly jealous of my roommate. I'm half disgusted in myself for allowing this jealousy to control me, and half disgusted in the fact that...its my roommate! The same girl who can't take care of herself. The same girl who emotionally rollercoasters from one extreme to the other. The same girl who lives in a pile of her own filth...and still manages to be dating someone, cheating on him with his best friend, and have he ex try to get back together with her, all in the course of 5 days.
And of course theres the stories from all the other girls you know who are in their happy relationships with the greatest guys they've ever met, and sure, things happen, but they're perfect together!
I sound like a whiny, stupid, pathetic, obsessive little brat. I hate it. I hate sounding this way, I hate feeling this way. I just truly don't think I'm good enough, for anyone, for anything...
Any way I can pull myself from this? I would love to...