oddlyfamiliar suggested I write Sam and Dean wanking for Cas's education, in honour of MMoM. I ran off to do this, and...apparently wrote the world's only gen wanking fic because they wouldn't stop arguing. I abandoned the fic as being impossible to turn into porn, but, y'know. SAM. DEAN. SAM AND DEAN.
"Dude," Dean said, "what the hell is that? You don't have to do tricks, you know."
It was fairly impressive, Castiel thought, that Sam was still able to pull what Dean called his 'bitch face' even with both hands working his genitalia.
"Dean," Sam said through gritted teeth, "what happened to not looking?"
Dean shrugged, spread his legs a little further. "I dunno, Sammy, what happened to spankin' it the old-fashioned way like I taught you?"
"Oh, you are not," Sam said. It didn't seem to be a complete sentence, but although Castiel waited for the rest of it, it didn't come. Sam was seemingly too angry about something. Castiel was unsure what.
"I'm just saying," Dean rejoined, after a minute. "Cas doesn't need none of that..." he demonstrated a corkscrewing motion in the air with his free hand - "fancy shit."
Sam's hand, Castiel now noticed, did indeed seem to be doing something rather different to Dean's as it worked the shaft of his cock, twisting a quarter turn in the middle of each stroke. Dean's moved a little more firmly, perhaps, but straightforwardly up and down. Castiel frowned. "I take it that the - fancy shit - is unnecessary," he ventured, slowly.
"Yes," Dean returned promptly. There was a flush rising in his cheeks now as he worked, the muscles in his thighs tensing.
"No," Sam protested. His earlier expression of irritation had been replaced by something looser, becoming breathless, but his tone was no less put out. "He can do it if he wants. Cas - " and Sam was looking at him, now, eyes bright and dark " - you can do it however you want. Whichever way works."
"My way works," Dean pointed out, sulkily.
"Yeah," Sam snapped, "well, maybe that's 'cause you have less to consider."
Dean's face, to Castiel's mild alarm, turned abruptly pink. "Seriously, Sam? Seriously?"
"Just - " Sam bit his lip and his breath hitched, part of which seemed due to something other than irritation. "Quit telling me how to jerk off. I think I can handle it. You could have shown Cas yourself if you wanted to be a technique-Nazi, but apparently you couldn't manage that."
"Jesus Christ, do I gotta do everything around here?" Dean shot back, chest heaving. Castiel was half-anticipating a blow, but it seemed as if some sort of mutual agreement had been reached without his knowledge, because Dean subsided after that, sank down further in his chair, and Sam made no retort.
So, yep. Sam and Dean bickering: gets in the way of porn. BUT I LOVE IT SO. Cas is very bemused.
For the information of my flist, I am in fact working on that J2 Prohibition AU. By which I mean I am poking
_mournthewicked every time I finish a scene to say CARLY CARLY WHAT SHOULD I WRITE NEXT OHGOD. I just want to get to the fedora sex.
Also, I am drinking Pimm's with lemonade, lime, lemon, raspberries, cucumber and...blueberries. THE BLUEBERRIES MAY NOT BE TRADITIONAL, BUT THEY MAKE IT.