Ficlet: Something About Buckles (PG-13), for screamlet
Title: Something About Buckles
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kirk/Spock (TOS)
Summary: Kirk has discovered a serious flaw with the new uniforms.
Notes: This is for screamlet the amazing, Queen of Awesome. Mijitaaaaaaa. She asked me for something involving 'the buckletastic maroon uniforms', and thus, voila. If you want me to write a wee thing for you in response to a donation, please visit my thread at help_haiti, here.
To Kirk's credit, he had made a valiant go of it. New enigmas always, after all, took time; new difficulties must be individually overcome. For seven minutes, he had been sure of gaining victory in the case of Admiral Kirk vs Spock's Tunic.
By the eighth minute, he was beginning to doubt himself. By the ninth, uncertainty had given way to frustrated despair. After ten minutes, Kirk was about ready to kill something. Preferably, whoever was responsible for these goddamn impenetrable uniforms.
“Spock,” he announced, sitting back on his heels, “I give up. This is ridiculous. I’m gonna have to cut you out of it.”
“Admiral,” Spock said calmly, the look on his face stating clearly that his choice of address was deliberate, “I would not advise so drastic a course of action. If you would be kind enough to remove your weight from my pelvis, I assure you that I will be fully capable of unfastening the buckles myself.”
Kirk threw up his hands in a gesture of exasperation. “But, Spock, I don’t want you to unfasten the buckles yourself. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”
Spock raised an eyebrow a carefully calculated quarter of an inch. “I am afraid I do not follow, Jim. You wish me to be divested of my uniform, do you not?”
Kirk resisted the urge to press both hands to his face and weep to merciful gods. Instead, he settled for rocking his hips just a little against Spock’s, just to clarify that part of the equation then and there. “Yes,” he managed, when the wave of incoherent disbelief had passed, “but I want to divest you of it myself, Spock, or it’s not the same thing at all. How the hell am I supposed to have my wicked way with my First Officer if I can’t even wrestle him out of his goddamn uniform?”
There was silence for a moment, just the sound of their breath between them, and That Look on Spock’s face that said that Kirk would never be permitted to take a knife to his uniform, whether or not he understood his frustration.
Then Spock said, “If I might be permitted - ”
He was stronger than Kirk, as ever, and Kirk was disinclined to embarrass himself further by making a futile show of resistance. So, with bad grace and something verging on a pout, he slid to the side and allowed Spock to stand up. Nevertheless, he was about to protest when Spock spoke again.
“I have been given to understand,” he began, in a tone of scientific inquiry, “that, under certain circumstances, the action of removing one’s own clothes at the behest of a partner might be considered one of submission.”
Kirk opened his mouth, said “…” and closed it again. Maybe letting Spock finish might be good at this stage.
“Thus,” Spock continued, “as I am very much in favour of my tunic remaining intact, but would also welcome your having your wicked way with me, I propose a compromise measure. I will remove my own garments, in response to your commands.” He met Kirk’s eyes. “Would this be an acceptable solution, Admiral?”
Not for nothing was Kirk the youngest Admiral in the Fleet. His was a decisive mind, intuitive and sharp. It also really wanted to see Spock naked, now.
“Stop messing around, Mr Spock, and take off that tunic.” He held Spock’s eyes. “And that means do it now.”
Spock had unfastened a buckle and a set of four buttons in slightly less than 43.78 seconds. Kirk thought he might give the tailor a reprieve, after all.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kirk/Spock (TOS)
Summary: Kirk has discovered a serious flaw with the new uniforms.
Notes: This is for screamlet the amazing, Queen of Awesome. Mijitaaaaaaa. She asked me for something involving 'the buckletastic maroon uniforms', and thus, voila. If you want me to write a wee thing for you in response to a donation, please visit my thread at help_haiti, here.
To Kirk's credit, he had made a valiant go of it. New enigmas always, after all, took time; new difficulties must be individually overcome. For seven minutes, he had been sure of gaining victory in the case of Admiral Kirk vs Spock's Tunic.
By the eighth minute, he was beginning to doubt himself. By the ninth, uncertainty had given way to frustrated despair. After ten minutes, Kirk was about ready to kill something. Preferably, whoever was responsible for these goddamn impenetrable uniforms.
“Spock,” he announced, sitting back on his heels, “I give up. This is ridiculous. I’m gonna have to cut you out of it.”
“Admiral,” Spock said calmly, the look on his face stating clearly that his choice of address was deliberate, “I would not advise so drastic a course of action. If you would be kind enough to remove your weight from my pelvis, I assure you that I will be fully capable of unfastening the buckles myself.”
Kirk threw up his hands in a gesture of exasperation. “But, Spock, I don’t want you to unfasten the buckles yourself. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”
Spock raised an eyebrow a carefully calculated quarter of an inch. “I am afraid I do not follow, Jim. You wish me to be divested of my uniform, do you not?”
Kirk resisted the urge to press both hands to his face and weep to merciful gods. Instead, he settled for rocking his hips just a little against Spock’s, just to clarify that part of the equation then and there. “Yes,” he managed, when the wave of incoherent disbelief had passed, “but I want to divest you of it myself, Spock, or it’s not the same thing at all. How the hell am I supposed to have my wicked way with my First Officer if I can’t even wrestle him out of his goddamn uniform?”
There was silence for a moment, just the sound of their breath between them, and That Look on Spock’s face that said that Kirk would never be permitted to take a knife to his uniform, whether or not he understood his frustration.
Then Spock said, “If I might be permitted - ”
He was stronger than Kirk, as ever, and Kirk was disinclined to embarrass himself further by making a futile show of resistance. So, with bad grace and something verging on a pout, he slid to the side and allowed Spock to stand up. Nevertheless, he was about to protest when Spock spoke again.
“I have been given to understand,” he began, in a tone of scientific inquiry, “that, under certain circumstances, the action of removing one’s own clothes at the behest of a partner might be considered one of submission.”
Kirk opened his mouth, said “…” and closed it again. Maybe letting Spock finish might be good at this stage.
“Thus,” Spock continued, “as I am very much in favour of my tunic remaining intact, but would also welcome your having your wicked way with me, I propose a compromise measure. I will remove my own garments, in response to your commands.” He met Kirk’s eyes. “Would this be an acceptable solution, Admiral?”
Not for nothing was Kirk the youngest Admiral in the Fleet. His was a decisive mind, intuitive and sharp. It also really wanted to see Spock naked, now.
“Stop messing around, Mr Spock, and take off that tunic.” He held Spock’s eyes. “And that means do it now.”
Spock had unfastened a buckle and a set of four buttons in slightly less than 43.78 seconds. Kirk thought he might give the tailor a reprieve, after all.